Baren*eh*ked_canadian

130 km/h, lol!


I don't even want to think about how fast 130 mph is!!!

I also should point out that while it is most definately over the limit, the tolerance is 120. Everybody goes over the limit, it's considered 'normal' lol. We often get drivers from out of province that follow the speed limits and it gets so irritating, lol!
130 is too fast, he deserved the ticket.

He must have been on another planet, it's an unfamiliar area, and we both tend to stick to around 115 km/h, so him going that speed is very surprising.

Lisanne

Confront him. This has nothing to do with pregnancy hormones. It has to do with honesty and communication.

I would say when he gets home, let him know you'd like to have a talk after dinner. (It can wait until you both eat and are more relaxed.) Be calm about saying this, or if he's the type who can't wait, then sit down to discuss it.

Calmly show him what you found, and ask what the ticket was all about and why he didn't tell you.

If he loses it, don't try to defuse it. You are the one with the right to lose it here. He nags you about the car reg and doesn't do his part? He doesn't tell you about a traffic violation? Why was he speeding anyway? And he spends $600 without mentioning it????

I'm not saying you should lose it. If you both can discuss it calmly, great. But do let him know each and every thing about the situation that upsets you.

julie

I'm with Patrice on this one. He lied by omission, he needs to respect you. Tell him no more lying, or else. Your pregnancy hormones have nothing to do with this.

pocoellie

Everyone has given you some great advice. Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with someone that has such a short fuse that you're afraid to bring up things? Personally speaking, not me, but it's your life.

isnthatodd

My only advice is to pray (or whatever you do) together first that you can remember the important things (that you love each other).

BellaBoo

He's your partner so you know how he is or finding out how he is. I see this as a sign of what you may expect in the years to come. I would concentrate on having a healthy baby and do some serious thinking about your future with or without the relationship. I would never be with someone that has a temper or I was always tip toeing around. Imagine you child being raised to fear his father's temper and this is what the child will be learning to do by your actions or worse yet, have you fear both their tempers. Do what is best for your child.

Chasing Hawk

It's about 83 mph in the states. Heck I can drive that fast....lol

yourstrulyquilts

Maybe he just didn't want you to get all upset, because of the hormones? I'd be mad too, but maybe there is a good reason...............

gailmitchell

Can I offer an opening line..

Dear, I think my memory is going. I don't recall you telling me about those speeding tickets... Refresh me while I get this tax paperwork organized...

It does no good to be accusitory .... until you have all the facts.. It will take lots of energy to keep your cool, but I think it will be worth it, if you can jus be calm and not lower your eyebrows.

Good Luck.

JJs

you said......"because Sasha has a short fuse, and I always try to diffuse the situation".....

are you really saying you have to tiptoe around to keep him from blowing up? is this one of those, "look what you made me do" relationships? My daughter and both my sisters were in those kind of marriages... my daughter put up with it for 20 years - I knew the guy was an ass but I never knew he was as bad as he was.... my one grand-daughter has a restraining order against her dad for pete's sake....
My sister's husband tried to drown her in the bathtub - we were NEVER aware of anything like that in her marriage until she FINALLY ended it................

if you have to be that careful to keep from "making him upset" you have a bigger problem than being hormonal - and is that what he says when you do get upset?.....
and $600 is a HUGE amount of money for young struggling couples...

my daughter stayed and wound up with four children - and they all feared their dad... please don't put your child in that kind of situation....

he has NO right to be upset with you for mentioning the tickets IF he put them in with the tax info, AND the money came from 'family' money to pay them.......
if he has extra money that he keeps for himself, then I assume he paid the tickets out of that? But why did he not mention them - and you're right - what was he doing somewhere that he didn't need to be....

We never played the yours, mine and ours money game in our marriage - and we're going on 45 years this December....