About marrying the BF...(might be long and corny)
05-24-2009, 04:38 AM
#1
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Seacoast New Hampshire
Posts: 1,177
Having this time alone has allowed my mind to reach conclusions without me really knowing I had to. That AHA! moment, or actually, a few of them.
I feel so clear-headed now, so in control, and I don't want to lose that by putting me aside for someone else.
What is important in my life is me, my kids, my job, planning for retirement by sewing things for sale - starting that side biz now. When I retire I don't want to work part time for anyone but me, otherwise, what's the point of retiring? BF seems to be OK with that but I don't feel that he is, you know? I don't want to live with him or anyone else right now. Maybe never. My kids will never be second with any man in my life and I wouldn't want to be placed above his. He should also have a plan; it's important to have a plan, it's like a dream put to paper, an achievable goal.
It isn't that I'm scared to get married I just don't want to. Ta da! :D
It seems to be all about being in control of your own life. Not letting other people win when it goes against what you want because if you want it that much and it bothers you that much, it is probably a need, and needs are necessary to survive; they become more powerful in content but less in number.
Yeah, alone time is good.
I feel so clear-headed now, so in control, and I don't want to lose that by putting me aside for someone else.
What is important in my life is me, my kids, my job, planning for retirement by sewing things for sale - starting that side biz now. When I retire I don't want to work part time for anyone but me, otherwise, what's the point of retiring? BF seems to be OK with that but I don't feel that he is, you know? I don't want to live with him or anyone else right now. Maybe never. My kids will never be second with any man in my life and I wouldn't want to be placed above his. He should also have a plan; it's important to have a plan, it's like a dream put to paper, an achievable goal.
It isn't that I'm scared to get married I just don't want to. Ta da! :D
It seems to be all about being in control of your own life. Not letting other people win when it goes against what you want because if you want it that much and it bothers you that much, it is probably a need, and needs are necessary to survive; they become more powerful in content but less in number.
Yeah, alone time is good.
05-24-2009, 05:06 AM
#3
Banned
Join Date: May 2009
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 888
I can tell you the same thing I told my grand-daughter:
"Don't sacrifice yourself on the altar of someone else's needs"
In other words....
"You gotta go where you wanna go,
Do what you wanna do
With whoever you wanna do it with.
You gotta go where you wanna go,
And do what you wanna do
With whoever you wanna do it with." (Mammas and Pappas)
"Don't sacrifice yourself on the altar of someone else's needs"
In other words....
"You gotta go where you wanna go,
Do what you wanna do
With whoever you wanna do it with.
You gotta go where you wanna go,
And do what you wanna do
With whoever you wanna do it with." (Mammas and Pappas)
05-24-2009, 05:17 AM
#4
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Seacoast New Hampshire
Posts: 1,177
Originally Posted by Ruth Camp
Yes it makes sence He may leave after a no. Think about that. Kids will not put you first as they mature. Just a thought :D
Right now I don't want to make a lifetime commitment to any man.
btw, Ruth, I love your saying.
05-24-2009, 05:21 AM
#5
Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In the middle of a mess...
Posts: 20,025
I've always told my girls ....you cannot be truely happy unless you yourself are happy first.
So, make yourself happy and if that means that the man in your life has to play 2d fiddle, then he can either 1...get with the program or 2...find another program.
So, make yourself happy and if that means that the man in your life has to play 2d fiddle, then he can either 1...get with the program or 2...find another program.
05-24-2009, 09:36 AM
#9
Power Poster
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Athens Ga
Posts: 11,420
Butterfli, if it doesn't feel right, then it isn't! As women we have a built in alarm system and it doesn't steer us wrong. If it was to be, you wouldn't have all the doubts! Good luck and stick to your plan.
Ninnie
Ninnie
05-24-2009, 10:06 AM
#10
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Posts: 6,884
Doesn't it feel great to just be able to breathe! Without waiting for the other shoe to drop!
Listen to your heart! Remember a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Listen to your heart! Remember a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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