Advice for soon to be first time Grandparents
#31
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: The other Milwaukie, Oregon
Posts: 1,913
At my niece's hospital they had a class for new grandparents. My BIL was sort of insulted about the idea of the thing. But he went along with my sister because she can't pass up a way to learn new things. He came home just glowing. Now he was a "certified" grandpa and he had the certificate to show for it! I thought that was such a clever idea on the hospital's part. My grandkids don't live close by so I get few opportunities to practice being a grandma. (see my sad face!)
#32
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tavistock, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,071
My oldest daughter wanted me with her during both her deliveries as there was spina bifida in her husband's family so someone would be with her and someone could be with baby. Well we discovered that I was a pretty good doula/labour coach - and she told all her friends that too.
Both babies were fine and healthy and I got to hold and cuddle them while the delivery team did all the "finishing" then helped my DD get the baby latched on to nurse. And send fruit and bran muffins to the hospital... its been my experience that new moms need more than the hospital supplies and more fibre too!
Remember to tell the new parents to trust their instincts. They will probably do things differently than you did but that's ok since they are different from you anyway. Your job as grandma is to support mom and dad and cuddle the baby while working in the background to make meals and keep laundry and dishes done up so they can get their rest for when you are not there. Leave lots of meals in the freezer.
Both babies were fine and healthy and I got to hold and cuddle them while the delivery team did all the "finishing" then helped my DD get the baby latched on to nurse. And send fruit and bran muffins to the hospital... its been my experience that new moms need more than the hospital supplies and more fibre too!
Remember to tell the new parents to trust their instincts. They will probably do things differently than you did but that's ok since they are different from you anyway. Your job as grandma is to support mom and dad and cuddle the baby while working in the background to make meals and keep laundry and dishes done up so they can get their rest for when you are not there. Leave lots of meals in the freezer.
#33
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 4,783
Don't stop to visit the new baby everyday right at suppertime while the new mom is trying to cook dinner for her husband who is on his way home from work. EVERYDAY whatever meat I was cooking was overdone and dried out by the time they left. Everyday for a month. After that it was every other day. Mind you, they weren't hungry at that time, because they both had always just eaten at a restaurant on their way to our place.
#34
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Horse Country, FL
Posts: 7,341
JustAbitCrazy, your brought back a memory too long to go into here, but you are right. Don't go into a home with a newborn and expect to be waited upon. The job in that home is to care for the babies. Anyone with a newborn can tell visitors to pound sand and if they don't like it, they really don't need to come back. I wish I'd had the fortitude to refuse a family friend (whom I'd never met) from my husband's side when our son was 2 days old. Husband needs to stick up for wife and support for her and the baby comes before anything else. IMHO
Orangeroom, I had to laugh at your 5 minute awkward visit description. My mother (who is very parsimonious) thought she was doing a good thing by bringing us a new ironing board when we were newlyweds. Lived in a garret...and she brought it up 3 flights of stairs...opened the door to the apartment and we had to really scramble...! I think that may have ended her impromptu visits, but it sure taught us to lock the door!
Orangeroom, I had to laugh at your 5 minute awkward visit description. My mother (who is very parsimonious) thought she was doing a good thing by bringing us a new ironing board when we were newlyweds. Lived in a garret...and she brought it up 3 flights of stairs...opened the door to the apartment and we had to really scramble...! I think that may have ended her impromptu visits, but it sure taught us to lock the door!
#35
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 2,497
I will remember to praise them. I wont visit everyday, only when she says she wants me to. She's a bit of an introvert, so I don't know how much I'll be seeing the newly formed family. Oh geez coopah, I thought all people knew not to pop in on a newly married couple...truly unannounced!
#36
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Tn
Posts: 9,059
Offer options for handling situations with baby. NOT this is the way I do it and it is best. Babies are all different and times have changed . Some of the old ways may work best. There are always new products and ways to address situations. Don't get your feelings hurt if the parents try something new. It may work!
#37
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 8,248
Enjoy the baby, I found my daughter was just as nervous!! I was there to cook, clean, hold baby when possible, give advise when asked.. I forgot some thank you google!! Amazing how much came back and I sounded smart. If In doubt I asked I didn't know nothing not even blankets in bassinets, we used blankets!! Mines 3 mths old and I'm loving being a grandma I just let them know I'm here if they need me , I don't live real close 4.5 hrs away , if I lived close I'd just be sure to have my own rules about babysitting.... congratulations grandma!!!!!!!
#38
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Spring Lake, Michigan
Posts: 978
I am amazed at all of the situations that people are talking about. Yes, some things have changed since you had an infant, but a diaper is still a diaper, and a burp has not changed. The baby's belly needs to be full and britches dry and warmth and snuggly works also. I believe that any new mom is anxious and will welcome "old" ideas and remedies. If you are relaxed the baby will be relaxed. If you are uptight and tense, then that child will be uptight and fussy and crying. Just do what comes natural. The cuddles and hugs happen almost instinctually.
Help is always appreciated but common sense is a huge asset! Mom is the one who needs to develop a bond with the infant but you can get your share of holding too.
Help all that you can (meals, laundry, picking up the house) and you will be appreciated!
Grandparents class??? REALLY? Weren't you a parent once?
Just love that little one and things will be great!!
Help is always appreciated but common sense is a huge asset! Mom is the one who needs to develop a bond with the infant but you can get your share of holding too.
Help all that you can (meals, laundry, picking up the house) and you will be appreciated!
Grandparents class??? REALLY? Weren't you a parent once?
Just love that little one and things will be great!!
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