CharlotteO

While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say "Your Honor, I'm guilty but..... There were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances." I did too, so I listened as the lady told her story. "Your Honour, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?" I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science." Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap! Complete darkness, the power was off! Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag." Then she headed for the door. "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise grip alone are you?" I shouted. Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy... The door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back." Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire," found me... standing on my tip-toes, half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass! After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did, but thanks anyway." "OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store. Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?" And that, Your Honour, is exactly how her head ended up between clamps...." The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed". When you stop laughing, click on FORWARD and let the rest of our sisters!

sassey

Thanks for the laugh

richardswife

I can soooooooooooooo relate. LOL

Retired Fire Chief

Something only women can relate to, very cute. I'm fortunate, I go to a lab where the nicest woman does my mammograms, they are still uncomfortable but she makes them pleasant - my advice, if you have options where you live find someone nice to do your. My first one was miserable mainly because the technician was an a--!

tessagin

I saw this on FACEBOOK and commented about how that was one of my biggest worried (power failure). Oh my the nasty comments I got thru the offline pm. I had to explain myself since I am a cancer survivor and as we all know those who have had mammograms, at least a few of us have had power failure cross our minds. I still think it's a cute story but we all know cancer of any kind is no joke. The little story is a joke. Just something to brighten one's day and bring the blood pressure down.

kyquiltlover1942

Oh, Nooooooooooooo, I'm scheduled for Wednesday. Pray for me.

Tennessee Suzi

I have actually been in the vice grips on two separate occasions when the power went out. One did have a backup generator, but not the other!!