Naturalmama

I'm just wondering.... can you just call AA and get some sort of help/support? Or is that "not how it works"? I won't get into the details, but my sister blew off her sponsor, and she says she won't return her calls now. I told her to just call AA and she says I don't understand. So I'm just wondering, is that really the way it is, or is this just an alcoholic talking?

Was it ok to post this here? I apologize if it should've been in the personal diaries section....

amma

Depending on how "she blew off her sponsor" she may be telling the truth. Her sponsor may have taken a lot of verbal abuse or threats, and has "quit."
If your sister goes back to another AA meeting, something can be worked out for her... I don't know how much they will actually do over the phone for her.
I have known many in AA and it seems that within meetings was where everything was arranged or taken care of.

Naturalmama

Thanks for replying Amma. Unfortunately she's burned a lot of bridges.

Darlene

All I know is that it is religious based.

marta

A good friend of mine went to AA, and also was the head counselor, or whatever her title. She shared this with me; to be willing to admit to someone you want help, is the first step. They stress living "one day at a time," and that when they feel tempted to go backward, to call someone.
From what Betty told me, anyone who goes would be willing to listen to another and to help in any way.
Good luck, and Prayers,
Marta

MadQuilter

It sounds like your sister is fighting her inner demons and if she pushed her sponsor away, she could most likely be sending the message that she does not have the desire to be clean and sober. At that point, the sponsor cannot help her (because she does not want to help herself) and she does not live within the guidelines of the AA fellowship. Here's some reading on the subject:
http://www.aa.org/pdf/products/m-24_aafactfile.pdf

laparshall

MadQuilter: Very good answer. You are so right.
Naturalmamma: Your sister already knows how to find another sponsor if she wants one. That is something learned at their first meetings. Some have more than one sponsor. May I suggest Al-a-non for you. It is a program for family and friends of alcoholics/drug addicts. It is a program for people who are affected by another person's drinking. You can find a meeting near you by looking in your local phone book under Al-a-non or by doing a search online. Good luck to you and your sister.
Linda

Jingle

Maybe she really isn't ready to be clean. If she really isn't ready, will it work?

Naturalmama

Thanks everyone. I think sometimes she wants help - but then she goes right back. And she's honestly had every helpline available to her - but either "they don't know what they're doing" or whatever other excuse she can come up with to stop the help. Unfortunately I'm aware that her dh is going to seek divorce soon. And I know it will all get worse. And I know I have some guilt for wanting to keep a distance. I've looked up al-anon but haven't done anything yet. Maybe I should. It's hard to "watch" a family member destroy themselves (I know this sounds bad, and I hate to say it, but I'm glad they live 'cross country from us)

Naturalmama

You are right Jingleberry. Unfortunately she already has liver disease, bruising, nerve pain, a pickled brain, a ruined (3rd) marriage and 3 beautiful and traumatized children - that's what is so frustrating. Even if she totally stopped today, I'm not sure what kind of life she'd have - her health is so shot. I'm afraid rock bottom will be death.

I'm sorry - I didn't mean to take the discussion this way. I just didn't want to continue to push her to call AA if it really wasn't "how it works".