behavior problem question
#62
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Phenix City, Alabama
Posts: 881
you did fine.
when my oldest was very small i had to move back in with my parents after my divorce. no job, no skills, etc. my mom kept my son while i went back to school and found a job. i figured she'd done all right by me (i didn't blame my parents for my stupid teenage rebellion that got me into this mess to start with.) so i never commented when she disciplined him. he is 21 now and they have a very special relationship. he is a fine young man and did not inherit my "stupid" phase. my mom and i always backed each other up on his discipline and it seems to have worked well.
i think you did a good thing with your gs and i am sure he will remember it.
when my oldest was very small i had to move back in with my parents after my divorce. no job, no skills, etc. my mom kept my son while i went back to school and found a job. i figured she'd done all right by me (i didn't blame my parents for my stupid teenage rebellion that got me into this mess to start with.) so i never commented when she disciplined him. he is 21 now and they have a very special relationship. he is a fine young man and did not inherit my "stupid" phase. my mom and i always backed each other up on his discipline and it seems to have worked well.
i think you did a good thing with your gs and i am sure he will remember it.
#64
I agree with your decision to make him compensate his little brother. I would wait a while to give him his $5.00 back, or he may be thinking, OK, I act sorry, I make amends and then I get my $$ back. Win!
#66
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Barnesville GA
Posts: 3,181
I think it was the proper response. Only I would have made him pay the whole thing and he wouldn't get the money back. Real life doesn't work that way. My son was about that age when he decided money grew on trees. I got a bunch of $1 bills, piled up the household bills and had him pay them from the stack. Well he soon learned that it didn't even come close. No more asking for money. :-)
I got a lot of flack for making my kids learn the reality of life . Like nothing in life is free. No chores no allowance. And allowance was only for extra chores. Not everyday ones.
I got a lot of flack for making my kids learn the reality of life . Like nothing in life is free. No chores no allowance. And allowance was only for extra chores. Not everyday ones.
#67
Good Job!I think you did the right thing.
I have 3 boys and that's how it works here. You break something of someone else's you are expected to replace or make compensation for it.
My only question is why would you give the money back to the child who broke it? I don't believe that would be postive re-enforcement(my opinion only). If anybody, would get it back (in my mind) it would be the child who's toy was broken who should be the recipient (not the one who broke it) so they could put it towards another.
I have 3 boys and that's how it works here. You break something of someone else's you are expected to replace or make compensation for it.
My only question is why would you give the money back to the child who broke it? I don't believe that would be postive re-enforcement(my opinion only). If anybody, would get it back (in my mind) it would be the child who's toy was broken who should be the recipient (not the one who broke it) so they could put it towards another.
#68
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: las vegas, nevada
Posts: 69
good with my judgment. only 2 grandbabies but 3 younger sibs and have cared for hundreds of kids in my 58 years. I would done same. as long as you explained something about not doing something mean in anger, so the point was not lost. an 8-year-old darned well has a clue he is being mean. crappy parents to not have leaped on this immediately. unpunished, this kind of behavior tends to get worse in my experience. good luck
#69
I think you did very well, and it seems fair to me. Our grands are 7 and 4. The 7 yo broke one of the 4 yo Christmas toys. He said it was an accident, I wasn't there, so can't say (but I doubt it was). It was not destroyed, but damaged. The rule was if Mom can fix it, only an apology is needed. If Mom can't fix it, he has to give up one of his Christmas toys to compensate. There was no big scene made, just talk about actions and consequences.
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10-21-2010 12:09 PM