sandybeach

I have been married twice. Been divorced for the past 25 years. Spent those 25 years raising two wonderful boys. Didn't have the time or the money to date. Now I am turning 60 and am feeling somewhat alone. I live in a fairly small town (25,000) and there just aren't things to do and places to go if you're single. Was seeing a man for a while, but he wanted to talk on the phone every single night and spend time with me every single weekend, I was smothered. He said he would never get married again, but would like someone to live with him (yeah right he gets all the benefits without any commitment). Finally told him to take a walk.

I WANT A MAN IN MY LIFE - - - BUT NOT IN MY HOUSE :!: :!: :!:

Vickymomof6

Don't let fear run your life. If you are in love, get married and enjoy the rest of your life together.

Vicky

MadQuilter

Apparently the fear of marriage is outweighed by something else. What that is, I can't say. Fear of being alone? Fear of not finding anyone special again and making do with Mr. Mediocre? Hope that this time will be better?

If the gut says to run, then I would have a little chat with my gut and try to define WHY it is talking and WHAT it is reacting to.

Marguerite

My "friend" is the same age and doesn't feel like getting married any time soon. Been dating for 9 yrs. She too was married 1 time before. Not interested in living together. Just got he child graduated from college and moved out. Enjoying a remodeled room, now just for sewing and likes her freedom. Not totally against it but no need to rush at this point. Enjoying the freedom to come and go, eat cereal for dinner, cake for breakfst, a sew-a-thon all weekend. If your not ready to give that up yet, just wait. Enjoy your freedom until you feel you need something more.

butterflywing

why does your 'other' want to get married? is he afraid of losing you?
why isn't he satisfied to go on this way? do you have more money than he does? LOL! do you have a better job than he does? does he love you so much he can't be without you? ask him. and tell him why you're afraid. he may be able to assure you that it will be okay.

is your freedom more important than he is? if you had to choose between the two, which would you choose right now? if push comes to shove, that's the choice to make.

k3n

Wise words - can't improve on that advice!

I've been married twice and divorced twice and looking back, both times were for all the wrong reasons! I was unsure about marrying Hans (current live-in BF!) when it first came up but only because the first two didn't work out and I was worried that marriage would put the hex on our relationship. When I met Hans, for the first time in my life I had a good talk with myself before committing to a relationship - is this what I really want? I think in the past I went with the flow too much, just let myself be carried along with the tide. It's great that you're asking yourself these questions and i don't think it necessarily means that you SHOULDN'T marry the guy. But only marry him if you can't not!

If I had to choose freedom or Hans? Hans, Hans and double Hans! He's quite literally my other half and for this reason alone, I'll marry him!

K x

Mousie

these are wise words too...and sweet. :wink:

k3n

:D

K x

butterflywing

when? hurry up before the best years are gone.

k3n

We haven't set a date yet - we've still (after over 4 years - the wheels of French bureaucracy turn slow) got financial baggage with exes and whatnot to get sorted first! Meanwhile we're together and I've got an engagement ring on my finger so it's not soooo bad!

K x