Courtesy & good manners: lost arts?
07-15-2011, 07:48 PM
#31
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: MN
Posts: 24,512
Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
denise d just brought back a memory!!
When my boys were little there was one real bratty kid who was in the group. One day I told all the kids that they were all to go out now.
They all went out the door except for the brat. He looked me right in the eye and said " Well, you need to go out too". I said "Excuse me??" He replied " You said- everyone outside".
If my kids did that I would have clobbered them!!
I knew his parents and really liked them but let's just say our parenting methods were a bit different! :D
When my boys were little there was one real bratty kid who was in the group. One day I told all the kids that they were all to go out now.
They all went out the door except for the brat. He looked me right in the eye and said " Well, you need to go out too". I said "Excuse me??" He replied " You said- everyone outside".
If my kids did that I would have clobbered them!!
I knew his parents and really liked them but let's just say our parenting methods were a bit different! :D
07-15-2011, 07:56 PM
#32
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: from Fl currently in Indiana
Posts: 393
Originally Posted by bearisgray
Originally Posted by sueisallaboutquilts
denise d just brought back a memory!!
When my boys were little there was one real bratty kid who was in the group. One day I told all the kids that they were all to go out now.
They all went out the door except for the brat. He looked me right in the eye and said " Well, you need to go out too". I said "Excuse me??" He replied " You said- everyone outside".
If my kids did that I would have clobbered them!!
I knew his parents and really liked them but let's just say our parenting methods were a bit different! :D
When my boys were little there was one real bratty kid who was in the group. One day I told all the kids that they were all to go out now.
They all went out the door except for the brat. He looked me right in the eye and said " Well, you need to go out too". I said "Excuse me??" He replied " You said- everyone outside".
If my kids did that I would have clobbered them!!
I knew his parents and really liked them but let's just say our parenting methods were a bit different! :D
Yep, that kid would not be coming back to my house. Something about sassing an adult really rubs me the wrong way.
I have seen a bit of that from my oldest in the past 2 weeks, and believe me... it will not be staying.
07-15-2011, 08:13 PM
#33
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 17,068
He was intelligent but no more so than the others. He was the kind of kid to push buttons and the other kids really didn't like him that much but he lived in the neighborhood............ The parents were lovely people but their kids were not- not sure what went on there!
07-15-2011, 09:36 PM
#34
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 412
Originally Posted by Hen3rietta
I was recently reading another post relating yet another instance of a quilter making something with love and affection and yes, gorgeous!, as a gift and having it treated as though it were just another "thing" and this got me to thinking about courtesy and good manners. I think it is the unintentional or thoughtless dismissal of someone's work, gift or time that is the worst offense of all.
When I was growing up, please and thank you were drilled into me. It didn't matter if I was handed a plate of abhorrent food at a friend's house. You said thank you, ate all of it and complimented the cook on the meal, if necessary with ambivalent words. What you didn't do, ever, was make anyone feel that whatever they had done for you was without interest or merit. If someone gave you a gift, you found something nice to say about it even if it would reside in the deepest recesses of the attic and only be brought out for visits from the donor.
There were times when I'm sure my friend's mother would recognize that I had trouble eating the dish set before me, or a friend realized that the gift was really inappropriate after all, but good manners and courtesy, were the grease that allowed us to get past that and save face all around without hurting each other's feelings and recognizing a spirit of generosity in each of us.
It seems that while society has become PC, all inclusive and non-discriminatory, it has lost the art of just getting along. It would be nice if parents and schools would start teaching manners along with everything else.
When I was growing up, please and thank you were drilled into me. It didn't matter if I was handed a plate of abhorrent food at a friend's house. You said thank you, ate all of it and complimented the cook on the meal, if necessary with ambivalent words. What you didn't do, ever, was make anyone feel that whatever they had done for you was without interest or merit. If someone gave you a gift, you found something nice to say about it even if it would reside in the deepest recesses of the attic and only be brought out for visits from the donor.
There were times when I'm sure my friend's mother would recognize that I had trouble eating the dish set before me, or a friend realized that the gift was really inappropriate after all, but good manners and courtesy, were the grease that allowed us to get past that and save face all around without hurting each other's feelings and recognizing a spirit of generosity in each of us.
It seems that while society has become PC, all inclusive and non-discriminatory, it has lost the art of just getting along. It would be nice if parents and schools would start teaching manners along with everything else.
3 am when DH and I were drinking coffee, we were talking about the exact same thing ...
All of this will only be getting worse ... and I doubt it will ever get better.
You see ... people used to teach their kids respect and kindness and manners ...
Then the kids grew up into hippies and decided they don't want to follow the rules ... and they went all out to break everyone of them.
Then these hippies had kids ... and they showed them how to be "free" ... NO rules ... NO etiquette ...
But the problem is these kids did not have any roots to hold onto .... so today with all the different cultures and TOLERANCE that is preached everywhere ... they are just swimming in a cesspool of filth ... they don't know any better ....
And you know about that one rotten apple?
Well, that is how the other kids that DID receive a fair to good upbringing, were infected ...
Add to that .... they know ALL about their RIGHTS ... but VERY LITTLE about their RESPONSIBILITY!
They were not taught that acts have consequenses ... and therefore they think they are not ACCOUNTABLE!
But when things get a bit tight around them, they definitely know how to BLAME everyone else!
Even when we try to lead by example, they just trample it beneath their dirty sneakers ....
Can you imagine what THEY will teach THEIR kids??????
:?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?:
07-16-2011, 01:50 AM
#35
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: 53 degrees North
Posts: 1,679
I am disagreeing again. I meet plenty of polite people. (I do meet lots of rude people as well, but the modern world just means you meet more people....) Also, my kids, and their friends, are all pretty polite and I get sick listening to people saying that "kids these days" have no manners.
(Also, I don't like being called Ma'am- especially if it is "no ma'am"!!)
(Also, I don't like being called Ma'am- especially if it is "no ma'am"!!)
07-16-2011, 04:23 AM
#36
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Wyoming
Posts: 1,460
interesting subject I agree people have gotten very rude and not just the young ones but manners does have to be taught in the home and should be taught in the schools but is not when I went to school we even had to say excuse to walk in front of someone now walking by a play ground I was shocked by the language coming out of small kids mouths but look what they watch on tv
07-16-2011, 05:00 AM
#37
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Liberty Hill - Central TEXAS Hill Country
Posts: 1,040
Originally Posted by ptquilts
as we move from a "community" based society to an "individual" based society, this will become more common. It's all about ME ME ME and who cares if your feelings get hurt.
Yes, there are many, especially in southern states that 'thank you's are heard & much less than there should be. Many younger ones at my church call their elders "Mr" John, "Mrs" ... or "Miss", but unfortunately society has become too self-centered.
OK, off my soap-box for the day
:-o
07-16-2011, 05:05 AM
#38
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Fort Worth, TX
Posts: 1,343
I have been teaching for many years and ever year have to teach common courtesy to a large number of children. I know the teachers at my school teach manners. It doesn't mean they internalize them if they are not reinforced at home or in the general public. I remind kids what good manners they have when a child, either in my class or another class, does something like open the door for me or pick up something I dropped. It is the only way I know how to get them to do it again and again...praise and example!!
07-16-2011, 05:10 AM
#39
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Mason, Ohio
Posts: 1,465
I have 3 adult children (one a step). It is a joy to be with two of the families...old fashioned courtesy with today's setting. One family thinks whatever comes out of their children's mouth is cute with no correction. UGH!
07-16-2011, 05:11 AM
#40
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Mason, Ohio
Posts: 1,465
Originally Posted by dinlauren
I have been teaching for many years and ever year have to teach common courtesy to a large number of children. I know the teachers at my school teach manners. It doesn't mean they internalize them if they are not reinforced at home or in the general public. I remind kids what good manners they have when a child, either in my class or another class, does something like open the door for me or pick up something I dropped. It is the only way I know how to get them to do it again and again...praise and example!!
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