Delia Smith vs The Real Woman
05-07-2009, 12:50 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Dudley, UK
Posts: 909
This has just had me spitting my tea out in laughter!
Some explanation for the Non-Brits....Delia Smith is a very well known, successful TV chef here in the UK, and has been for about 30 years.
1. DELIA'S WAY
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
THE REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
2. DELIA'S WAY
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
THE REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.
3. DELIA'S WAY
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Tesco's sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.
4. DELIA'S WAY
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough sh*t. Now, please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it, and you will eat it, and I don't care how bad it tastes."
5. DELIA'S WAY
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Let it keep forever. Who really eats it anyway?
6. DELIA'S WAY
Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Sainsbury's frozen pie directions do not include brushing any egg white over the crust - so we don't do that.
7. DELIA'S WAY
Cure for headaches. Take a lime, cut it in half and rub in on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Cure for headaches. Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but at least you will be happy!
8. DELIA'S WAY
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Forget the gloves, use that gadget you keep in front of the TV ... that's what he's there for isn't it?
And finally ...
9. DELIA'S WAY
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Leftover wine???? .... Hello!!!!!
Some explanation for the Non-Brits....Delia Smith is a very well known, successful TV chef here in the UK, and has been for about 30 years.
1. DELIA'S WAY
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
THE REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
2. DELIA'S WAY
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
THE REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Buy Smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.
3. DELIA'S WAY
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Tesco's sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.
4. DELIA'S WAY
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough sh*t. Now, please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it, and you will eat it, and I don't care how bad it tastes."
5. DELIA'S WAY
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Let it keep forever. Who really eats it anyway?
6. DELIA'S WAY
Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Sainsbury's frozen pie directions do not include brushing any egg white over the crust - so we don't do that.
7. DELIA'S WAY
Cure for headaches. Take a lime, cut it in half and rub in on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Cure for headaches. Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but at least you will be happy!
8. DELIA'S WAY
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Forget the gloves, use that gadget you keep in front of the TV ... that's what he's there for isn't it?
And finally ...
9. DELIA'S WAY
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
REAL WOMAN'S WAY
Leftover wine???? .... Hello!!!!!
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