clem55

I agree with JAn . My kids each had their own room, but it was not "private". We didn't demand it, but they didn"T even close their door. All four of them heard the phrase, this is your home, not you house, and in my house, you go by my rules. Saturday mornings meant a good cleaning all over the house, and we all helped. We had our "clean your room" battles, but not too often, actually all the kids were very good about respecting their parents and their home. And they were all spoiled with a lot more love than things!

Chasing Hawk

My father was in the Navy, after my parents divorced he was a single Dad with 5 kids. Saturdays were for major cleaning of our rooms. After our rooms were cleaned, he would come in and do an "inspection". Not many kids knew how to make a bed where a quarter would bounce off of it, but we did....LOL
And if the room wasn't done to his satisfaction, everything was dragged out to the hall and redone.
The usual household chores were done during the week. And Sundays were for play and a big dinner.

sylviak

My two sons did a pretty good job of picking up after themselves, but my daughter was a slob. After fighting with her to keep stuff picked up and her room clean, I finally told her if she liked living that way, keep the door closed. She did. But I regret that I didn't try harder since her house looks the same way today and her kids, except for the youngest, are the same way. Wish I had just gone in and picked it up and disposed of it! Might have worked.

Sew Krazy Girl

I think Dr. Phil would agree with your actions as do many of us. Wonder how they would feel if they had to pick up after YOU?

tmw

this is kinda funny[screaming and crying] but it might work. if some of their favorite stuff got taken away.!!!!!

Quiltforme

I agree I pay good money for the roof over their heads and I may be "strict" my mother was not I did not have to put my stuff away and she worked so hard a single mom to take care of us. I want my daughters to respect themselves and the house that they are raised in enough that they keep it clean. I PAY FOR the close on the floor and the bed they sleep in and the food they eat the plates they eat it upon I should have the right to tell them how I want their room to look. It is hard to see a $40 outfit laying on the floor days after it was purchased. I can understand privacy but when you are disrespectful I will take action. I have gone so far as to remove the door on one of the kids rooms because of it. I know now that my actions with my kids were spot on. I only shop at value village with my kids because of the lack of respect they have for the clothes I buy. My middle daughter does not like it she is used to her dads home where they buy name brand clothing. She comes home from school and you can tell what direction she came in and went from the trail she left behind. I am 100% more confident to keep my word from all of you wonderful moms with amazing advice. THANK YOU!!! Really ladies I do appriciate all of you!! I will say I did enjoy the look on my daughters face when she realized her "good" pants where gone. It really made her think of what she lost and now only has 1 pair of pants left that fit. I am not a confrontational person I am the peace keeper but I am now RAMBOMOM who will no longer put up with the CRAP!!!! Backbone has grown in YAHOO!!

vjengels

I used to close the door to my daughters room, it was her space, let her live w/the mess if she wanted to, when she ran out of clothes, I just pointed to the washer. If they're too grown up to do as their told they're old enough to do their own laundry.. One thing I was adamamt about; your mess better not migrate to the rest of the house.

patricej

if you still felt that way after becoming old enough to live on your own, you would not have become an adult. you would have merely become an older but still spoiled, selfish, inconsiderate, ungrateful brat.

booklady

I feel sorry that you would see things in this narrow perspective, but then I don't know your home life. It would be sad for me to think my child could give up contact with me as easily as you say and for such a reason. You might want to re-check those personal boundaries one day, it might get lonely in there.

kristen0112

I have 2 teen girls Chloe 16 & Samantha 18 (and 2 boys Peter 12 and Maxwell 5). Now keep their belongings until they 'earn' them back.
Also, if they become naughty (and we all know that they do at times) remove EVERYTHING from their bedrooms/bathrooms. Leaving only 2 pairs of jeans and 5 shirts (your choice) and enough underware for the week. No cells, computers or tv's until they have an attitude adjustment. :-)
good luck.