Rainbow

NICE TOPIC !!! Something we all went through. Good to see how others handled it.

tntgranny

I cleaned up the basement when my kids were little - after threatening and threatening. Went down with black garbage bags and started shoving toys and games into them - most of them were broken or had pieces missing anyway. All of sudden my phone rings and my mother asks what's going on at my house. Apparently one of my sons had called her and said "Do you know what YOUR daughter is doing to us?" He made is sound like I was beating them up or something. Guess he considered throwing away his toys was child abuse.

ShowMama

I don't think you really can deal with teens. One of my daughters had such a messy room I finally just put a poster on her door that said "enter at your own risk". The floor was covered with so much clothing and junk that you had to shuffle your feet to walk through, not knowing what you might step on.

I also tried the "you can't have friends over unless your rooms are clean" threat, so........they just didn't invite friends over.

They did start doing their own laundry, though, as I refused to go into their rooms and sort out what was clean or dirty from all the piles of clothes lying around. After I saw clean, folded shirts lying on the floor next to dirty gym clothes and jeans, I just refused to wash their clothes at all.

clem55

I once told my kids that I didn't know it all about being a good parent. All I could do is what I thought was best at the time, and when they became parents, they could not do all the things they thought I did wrong and raise their children their way. I really wasn't very strict, about some things yes, but not everything. My daughter probably had it the hardest in the rules game( she was the oldest). Second son probably was the most spoiled by me and I can't believe how strict he is with his two children. ISn't this how we all learn, by making mistakes and then trying to do better with each generation? My heart goes out to parents that are going it alone, that is a very tough job. My daughter did the best she could alone, she wasn't strict at all with her son, and he turned out really good. My youngest son is divorced and has two little ones who live with their mom. Troy is going overboard with buying expensive items for his children and both parents are letting the kids get away with too much bad behavior . As a family we see it and hope they wise up soon, before the children are too old to control. A messy room or bathroom is of little importance, really, let it go during the week, and then they must do a major clean-up once a week. My youngest had his room in our basement during his teen years. I can remember going in there and getting so mad because hre had his jeans laying neatly all over the floor, about 5 pair . When I asked him why, (I got tired of all the laundry all the time,) his answer was so simple. "The pants aren't dirty ". So why on the floor? Because he "didn't want to wear the same ones everyday , this way he could wear a different pair everyday of the week, and "you don't have to wash them all each week, just wash the ones I put in the laundry room." Made sense to both of us, but I did convince him to at least hang them up in the "worn"area of his closet and we could both be happy. LOL Tenns!! You gotta love them, their logic is so neat!

Miss Priss

I refused to pay attention to the rooms and let them live in the squaller. I did not do their laundry and back then everything had to be ironed, or they wore rumples. They lasted about a month and today they are all very neat. They are the parents of my 5 grands, two teens and they too are learning to be neat.

kellen46

Getting Teens to be responsible for "picking up" is a toughie. I myself did not learn to do it until three days after I left home and surprise surprise all my things were still on the floor... Now fast forward to my own sons, messy as children, messy as teens. I finally got tired of rewashing clothing that had never been worn. I would wash and fold and place on the bed and they would scoop it off onto the floor. I had no happy solution but what I did was this. I told them the good news bad news. Bad news they had to do their own laundry from now on,good news was I was not going to make them clean their rooms as long as they kept the door shut. Now I only had a wringer washer and a clothes line. I offered to give them lessons on how to do laundry. My oldest would wear his jeans until they could stand on their own and I would get so frustrated at seeing him in dirty jeans that I would secretly wash them. My youngest who was into looking good, got a part time job so he could go to the nearest laundromat. Go figure. Anyway my oldest went to boot camp when he was 17 and came home for his senior year of high school before going Army full time. He was just as messy when he came back. I told him I had been hoping the Army would teach him to be clean and tidy. He said in Boot Camp he did keep everything just so, I asked him why not at home and he replied, " because your not my drill Sargent". Sigh, no I am not, I am just your mom. Now they have teen sons of their own..and what do I hear...well my words falling out of their mouths. So I guess I am saying, I don't know what the answer is except that just to survive your kids with out a: losing your sanity or b: becoming a drill Sargent is a balancing act and keep in mind someday they might have messy kids of their own and then.....oh my, revenge is sweet.

grannypat7925

You are right! Just stick to your guns and be consistent. Don't let it start again.

lillybeck

I have read so many of these comments and was not going to post because I have used many of these but could not resist putting in a few. I used to tell my oldes daughter to put her clothes away properly and close her drawers instead of just stuffing everything in and leaving them open, I did all the laundry for the family and sat it in their rooms all they had to do was put it away, finally tired of talking about it she came home from school one day and found all of her drawers emptied on the floor. Boy, was she mad. I told her that apparently she had too many clothes to fit right so this was the best way to clear them out. lol.
On the opposit end of the is the youngest daughter that liked to store things under the bed instead of putting them away. She was finally charged 10 cents for evry item found under her bed for about 2 months before she decided it was costing her too much. When she was 8 or so 10 cents was a lot of money. She is now 34 and is a neat freak.

adrianlee

If it's not in the hamper it will not be washed. We don't have a maid and the Queen of the house, doesn't pick up after folks. When the Queen is out of the castle, she does not take the stove and frig with her or the vacuum or broom. Don't anyone forget, the King also answers to the Queen, that is what makes for a happy kingdom. well, this sorta works most of the time. LOL!!

jbj137

I did this tooo when my daughter was about 15.
She will be 37 in December.
Bought new school clothes and found them dirty
under the bed. Hid them. All she had was 1
pair of jeans and 1 shirt. I kept them for
2 weeks. She had to wash and re-wear the same
2 pieces for that long before I gave them back.
NO MORE PROBLEMS after that.
J J