Do you get "volunteered" to do things for other people?
04-19-2011, 07:12 AM
#32
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: North East USA
Posts: 4,949
When their things don't get picked up, the kids don't get babysat, their lookups don't happen and they are left standing on the corner they will quickly figure out the meaning of "NO".
Originally Posted by Mimito2
I know I live in Tennessee (THE Volunteer State) but everyone keeps assuming that since I am not working I am available to:
Babysit
Run pick up __________
Go online and find _________
Deliver ________
Give me a ride to _________
I can't get anything accomplished especially sewing. I say NO real loud and it just goes over their head. Any suggestions besides unplug the phone and lock the door?
Babysit
Run pick up __________
Go online and find _________
Deliver ________
Give me a ride to _________
I can't get anything accomplished especially sewing. I say NO real loud and it just goes over their head. Any suggestions besides unplug the phone and lock the door?
04-19-2011, 07:19 AM
#33
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: North East USA
Posts: 4,949
OMG this is so RUDE!!!! Where are parents sense?!?! I would never assume anything like this for someone else. Nor would I have ever left my child with an (almost) perfect stranger.
Originally Posted by GlitzyMe
Back in the 1970s I had a call from the nurse at the local elementary school one morning. A little girl in my daughter's class was sick and would I come pick her up......excuse me? After a conversation which was total ingnorance on my part the nurse went thru her files. Because I worked at home and could be reached 24/7 she found I was listed as the emergency number for 16 children in the school! Yes, it was a small town but there were some mothers I knew only to greet with a smile and 'hello'. Only my sister had asked if I could be her emergency contact. The rest all got new forms and notes from the nurse. Some people have either no sense of manners or a lot of nerve. Learn the 2-letter word. It's ok to stand in front of the mirror and practice it. You aren't required to have a reason why......and I guarantee if you tell them you don't WANT to do it, they'll get that message.
04-19-2011, 07:23 AM
#34
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 9,312
I seem to get "volunteered" alot because I'm single. It amazes me that some think I am just sitting around waiting for someone to give me something to do.
I have a set answer ... I .. "I have plans , I can not fit one more thing into my schedule."
It not that I do not like doing things for others.. its I really do not like that I am the first person on the list to get called for all things that are messy , complicated, distasteful, or just a pain in the ...
I have a set answer ... I .. "I have plans , I can not fit one more thing into my schedule."
It not that I do not like doing things for others.. its I really do not like that I am the first person on the list to get called for all things that are messy , complicated, distasteful, or just a pain in the ...
04-19-2011, 07:45 AM
#35
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Washington
Posts: 450
it was like that the first year we retired than I just thought enough of this Im not going to live my life around others demands, so I started saying NO really loud and if they called or showed up I stuck to it, they just had to make other plans,Or I would say sorry Im busy that day didn't say with what so if I wanted to just stay home and sew I wasn't telling a fib, you just have to be firm after a couple times they get the hint...
04-19-2011, 10:09 AM
#36
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: North Texas
Posts: 1,713
If you tell someone no, then mean no & don't do it. If they get offended, then just tell them that you relayed that you were not doing that.
I have a truck; that does not mean I will help you move a couch, your house, etc.
I can sew, but that doesn't mean I will make stuff for you at costs that would starve a 9-year-old in India.
I have a truck; that does not mean I will help you move a couch, your house, etc.
I can sew, but that doesn't mean I will make stuff for you at costs that would starve a 9-year-old in India.
04-19-2011, 10:13 AM
#37
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 102
I had that problem until about 2 years ago. I was constantly being volunteered to, or asked to do all sorts of things that people assumed I had the time, interest, patience to do. Then one day it hit me like a bolt out of the blue...I was asked to join a group that I had been saying (verbally saying) NO to. Well I was caught on one of theose days and was told that 'the group could really use your presence and talent. We need you to come out on Tuesday and join us'. Well I said okay. The OK was not that I would join them it was OK I understand that the group can really use my presence and talent. Well the meeting came and went. The next time I saw my friend she said that I didn't show up after I had said I would join. I stopped her and explained that my OK was not that I would join them it was that I understood that the group can use my presence and talent. And after much huffing and not speaking to me for about 3 weeks it was understood that I can't and don't want to do all that everyone has for me to do. I HAVE A LIFE. Put that on a tee shirt and insure that all who want to give you something to do understand that you have a life and want to schedule your own time and to do list. Good luck learning the word 'NO'.
04-19-2011, 04:50 PM
#39
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,915
Someone is always asking for something from me and I do it, but as soon as I need help from someone, I can't get it. So now I do no more helping. Now I truly have time for myself. I hate to be that way, but I get taken advantage of if I'm not.
04-19-2011, 05:06 PM
#40
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: jacksonville bch
Posts: 2,066
I'm baby sitting for a neighbor a couple days a week. I offered to do it, but a gal in one of my sewing clubs asked me if she got a full time job if I would sit for her 6 yr. old. I said NO because I was taking care of this 14 mo., and I wouldn't do both. She had the nerve to say that her little girl would not be any trouble for me, and that she would call me when she got the job. Sorry, but she is going to have one rude NO!!! Too bad I don't have caller ID. LOL
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