Connie in CO

Once a month we go to Denver to cash my brother in laws SS check.We write out 3 checks rent,heat,insurance then drive back home 3 hours away.

quiltmom04

You know if you are handling his expenses, you can become his "payee" and the SS checks will be sent to you and you can take care of sending the checks out from YOUR end. Unless your trip to Denver is to visit and then that's different.

cinnya

I had to learn that """NO""" was a complete sentence.

Glenda m

The DH does that to me too. Then I got to thinking about it and...he is proud of the things that I can do and this is his way of 'showing' me off. Usually it's just things like putting on a missing snap, sewing on a button, putting a patch on a pair of overalls. I have one of his friend's quilts that is in need of repair that I am going to look at when we get back from vacation. I told that person, I will look, if it's something I can fix..I will. Other than that they can find someone that knows a little more.
So anyway, I take it as DH just showing off a little. Kinda like that.

quiltmom04

I think the key is not minding!

rebeljane

I know the feeling well - at the moment I have to finish a quilt for new grandson (very important), take up the hems on three dresses for a friend, make a cushion cover for daughter, put a new backing on a quilt for another friend & make 2 cushion covers for neighbours kids, just as well I don't work but I just can't seem to say no, maybe one day I will learn, after all it is a very small word LOL

grannie cheechee

Ramona, I should have thought of using my answering machine, but tha is a great idea. Thank you.

Valerie Scherr

my answer to the many demands I get is wow I am really busy at the moment but give me a day or two and I will get back to you...Works every time ..Gives me time to evalute my time and them time to find someone else.

QuiltE

I've been thinking about this since we started this thread.

I am very generous with my time, as I know volunteerism is vital to a healthy society. However, I also know the difference between volunteering and being voluntold!

When I am voluntold ... oh my how I can dig in my heels and say no! Sometimes politely and diplomatically ... other times, well not so!! :lol:

So ask me and give me choices ... don't tell me, if you want compliance!! :)

nellebelles

I have learned that it seems to be more effective to say no, if you don't give a justification for your answer! I think the reason for that is--when you tell them why you're saying no--your reason just isn't as important (to them) as the task they're asking you to do. So now, when there is something I don't want to do, I just say no. Only "no"! Or a softer way to say it is, "Sorry!" A few of my kids used to start out by asking me if I am busy at such and such a time. I've gotten smarter in my old age, and now answer with "Why, what did you have in mind?" before I tell them if I am busy or not. I let them know that it is more effective communication between us, if they will just ask what they want to ask and let me answer without feeling trapped.