Originally Posted by nellebelles

I have learned that it seems to be more effective to say no, if you don't give a justification for your answer! I think the reason for that is--when you tell them why you're saying no--your reason just isn't as important (to them) as the task they're asking you to do. So now, when there is something I don't want to do, I just say no. Only "no"! Or a softer way to say it is, "Sorry!" A few of my kids used to start out by asking me if I am busy at such and such a time. I've gotten smarter in my old age, and now answer with "Why, what did you have in mind?" before I tell them if I am busy or not. I let them know that it is more effective communication between us, if they will just ask what they want to ask and let me answer without feeling trapped.