Dreaming of owning a home....
#21
Super Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 9,529
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Originally Posted by jaciqltznok
just remember, Suze Orman now says that owning your own home is the biggest financial mistake you can make in this economy!
#22
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the only thing I would add would be not to go to the top of what you get pre-approved for. Its not worth being house poor. And don't let anyone tell you that you'll be ok going higher. Make your budget and stick to it.
#23
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 10,357
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I'm not in the USA so I can't really comment on the state of your economy or housing prices etc. However, I can speak from my experience. Firstly, you need to get on the same page as your partner...if he is dead set against home-ownership (for whatever reason) and you are the opposite, well, there is a fundamental problem. You need to decide if you are both going in the same direction. Secondly, get into the habit of a regular savings plan and household budget. If you do decide to buy - buy a small, affordable, established home in a good area. If you can, buy the worst house in the best street. New is not necessarily better and if you are inexperienced in property, while you are building up your deposit, research, research, research. Then if you do make a decision to buy you will have no nasty surprises happen. Also, if committing to buying, get a pre-purchase property inspection by a reputable engineer/builder of your choosing - it costs - but if you are not familiar with building codes/construction it is a very sensible idea.
There are many things to consider. Always factor in potential dramas - backup savings for emergencies, money for insurance/rates/taxes/household utilities/repairs. Make sure your mortgage terms are clearly understood, factor in any rises in interest rates. Don't bite off more than you can chew...you don't need a huge glamour house and brand new furniture first up - and ditch your credit cards -debit cards are the way to go.
Sorry for the rant-fest, but nothing upsets me more than inexperienced buyers being fleeced by dodgy finance deals, rogue real estate agents or picket fence dreams than are unrealistic and down the track...detrimental.
Don't be timid about approaching difficult subjects with your partner. You are both adults with the right to your own opinions, but you are partners, so need to have a few common goals. Good Luck and I hope it all works out for you.
There are many things to consider. Always factor in potential dramas - backup savings for emergencies, money for insurance/rates/taxes/household utilities/repairs. Make sure your mortgage terms are clearly understood, factor in any rises in interest rates. Don't bite off more than you can chew...you don't need a huge glamour house and brand new furniture first up - and ditch your credit cards -debit cards are the way to go.
Sorry for the rant-fest, but nothing upsets me more than inexperienced buyers being fleeced by dodgy finance deals, rogue real estate agents or picket fence dreams than are unrealistic and down the track...detrimental.
Don't be timid about approaching difficult subjects with your partner. You are both adults with the right to your own opinions, but you are partners, so need to have a few common goals. Good Luck and I hope it all works out for you.
#24
Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 253
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Is he secure in his job or worried that he might lose it? With unemployment so high he might be worried about that.
It also might worry him that if you do eventually have children you might want to stay home and leave your job leaving the whole financial responsibility on him.
Owning a home is a lot of work but well worth it. Show him the brochure. That might kick start him. Do you have friends that own a home? With home ownership comes a lot of responsibility but you do know that. Maybe if you went out to dinner less, like he suggested, he might see that you're more willing to give up something to get a home.
Don't give up.
It also might worry him that if you do eventually have children you might want to stay home and leave your job leaving the whole financial responsibility on him.
Owning a home is a lot of work but well worth it. Show him the brochure. That might kick start him. Do you have friends that own a home? With home ownership comes a lot of responsibility but you do know that. Maybe if you went out to dinner less, like he suggested, he might see that you're more willing to give up something to get a home.
Don't give up.
#25
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Since he's worried about "eating out" too much, which I presume to be his frustration with the family budget, see if he'll sit down with you and make a budget. I'm assuming that a mortgage payment (including taxes, insurance, and any PMI) will be more than the rent that you're paying now. Start including the difference in your budget, directing it to savings specifically for the house and/or move, depending on what other savings you've got. Remember for a budget to be liveable, it must be realistic. If you and DH could realistically live on the budget, try to do so for a few months. That may ease his "eating out too much" mindset.
#26
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Originally Posted by Mamagus
If you have to get "his consent" to look at a brochure, you are not in a very healthy relationship.
Do you work? Are you both saving? Seems to this old woman, that you have to do more than have a dream and if he isn't interested in your dreams then you have a huge problem.
Do you work? Are you both saving? Seems to this old woman, that you have to do more than have a dream and if he isn't interested in your dreams then you have a huge problem.
#27
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Yorkville, IL
Posts: 7,639
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Do they have open houses there on Sunday? Just stop in and look at a few. You can also call a Real Estate Office and get a pre-approval. It will cost nothing but at least you will know what you can afford and approximately what a monthly payment would be. Interest rates are very low and if you have a good credit rating you will be able to get a great rate. Pre-existing homes are less than new ones and that might be something to consider. There are some really nice homes on the market in Texas. My son and his family are in Rockwall and they got a great deal on their home. Good luck. Keep dreaming and talk to your husband. It is not nagging to let him know what you want. I hope you can get on the "same page".
#28
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I wouldn't go behind his back and get pre-approval. I think you should show him the brochures and discuss what home ownership means to both of you. Maybe he is afraid of the commitment. Maybe he's not ready to deal with a yard and the responsibilities of owning a home, i.e. repairs and maintenance. Communicate and find out what each of your long-term dreams are.
#29
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Niles, OH
Posts: 236
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However, every time I mention that we should look into purchasing a house, he gets frustrated with me and tells me he is too busy with work right now, and/or he tells me that we first need to stop eating out so much.
#30
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We are of course assuming the banks will let go of our Bailout Money.....I've heard you need to do cartwheels and triple flips to get them to loan it out....plus 20% down.
I wouldn't buy new at all. The house down the street from me had to be condemned because of the dry wall from China. Black stuff was oozing out of the holes cut for electric plugs and switchplates plus air ducts. The builder wouldn't make it good, Home Depot wouldn't make it good, they tried to get the bank to stop paying the builder etc and was finally told they had to sue the manufacturer in China. They had to walk away from it and declare bankruptcy. The bank finally brought in a haz-mat team to tear out all the drywall and insulation, then contractor had to re-do it. It's for sale now. Betcha it won't come cheap.
I wouldn't buy new at all. The house down the street from me had to be condemned because of the dry wall from China. Black stuff was oozing out of the holes cut for electric plugs and switchplates plus air ducts. The builder wouldn't make it good, Home Depot wouldn't make it good, they tried to get the bank to stop paying the builder etc and was finally told they had to sue the manufacturer in China. They had to walk away from it and declare bankruptcy. The bank finally brought in a haz-mat team to tear out all the drywall and insulation, then contractor had to re-do it. It's for sale now. Betcha it won't come cheap.
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