Ever have to "reinvent yourself"?
#31
Originally Posted by Lostn51
I did 10 years ago, I realized that I was living to work and not working to live. I woke up one morning and realized that I was missing everything that is important to me. Like being with my wife and watching my kids grow up and seeing them in the school programs and plays and doing the PTO thing.
So I quit a 6 digit a year job and semi-retired, now all I do is paint high end show cars and bikes at my own leisure out of a 2 1/2 car garage in the backyard. I will admit everything I owned was already paid for so it was not going to be a huge burden as far as the bills go but it was still an adjustment going from 70 hour weeks to doing my own thing.
Ten years later I am having the time of my life, I am closer to my family than I ever was. I got to see the kids grow up and spend time with them helping with their school and other projects. My wife and I share all the household duties so her stress levels are next to nil and when we want to take off and go on a trip we do it.
Now I work when I want to and not because I have to.
Billy
So I quit a 6 digit a year job and semi-retired, now all I do is paint high end show cars and bikes at my own leisure out of a 2 1/2 car garage in the backyard. I will admit everything I owned was already paid for so it was not going to be a huge burden as far as the bills go but it was still an adjustment going from 70 hour weeks to doing my own thing.
Ten years later I am having the time of my life, I am closer to my family than I ever was. I got to see the kids grow up and spend time with them helping with their school and other projects. My wife and I share all the household duties so her stress levels are next to nil and when we want to take off and go on a trip we do it.
Now I work when I want to and not because I have to.
Billy
I did it the other way around ... back in the '60's and '70's, I stayed at home with my children (in those days, it was do-able) and went to work when they were up in years and in school. We always had food, clothing, shelter, and lotsa good times, but not much extra $$$. If I had it to do all over again, I'd do the same thing. My husband was career military and, except for his hideous year in Viet Nam, we were not separated, so he basically had his 40+ hour a week job and had his meals and every evening and weekends to spend with us.
#32
Boy do I here you here, it is like an echo.... I changed occupations in 2004 from a Management position for over 20 years to an at home longarm machine quilter.. Then in 2006 I lost my brother, our family became fractured, then on New Years Eve 2007 my Son died, I was devastated.....
I try to change things up, I don;t like leaving the house much, I try everyday to get up and accomplish something for me....
It is tough, I will be 50 in January and am seeing a different person in the mirrors reflection, I know I need to change some things in my life to find my new happy and lately haven't known where to look...
I wish I had my youth but with the wisdom I have today with age, I also wish for a non fractured family... However a wish does not accomplish much I have found, so I shall follow my dreams, my art and see where 2010 takes me....
I try to change things up, I don;t like leaving the house much, I try everyday to get up and accomplish something for me....
It is tough, I will be 50 in January and am seeing a different person in the mirrors reflection, I know I need to change some things in my life to find my new happy and lately haven't known where to look...
I wish I had my youth but with the wisdom I have today with age, I also wish for a non fractured family... However a wish does not accomplish much I have found, so I shall follow my dreams, my art and see where 2010 takes me....
#33
Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 233
trupeach I cannot imagine a 5,000 sq ft sewing room, let alone a home as large as yours might be. I came from very humble beginnings, have all I need or want at this stage in my life, (yes, there is still someone or things I could handle), and am learning something new every day at my age (69). One of those things I am trying to learn is how to become accustomed to "wealth". Still working on the attitude. You are fortunate. May you and your loved one continue to love one another.
#34
My story is so much like yours. Single, then married for 14yrs., divorced-single mom, many jobs-sometimes three jobs at the same time- to survive. I'm married again, but still working 3 jobs.
#35
Originally Posted by Emjay
trupeach I cannot imagine a 5,000 sq ft sewing room, let alone a home as large as yours might be. I came from very humble beginnings, have all I need or want at this stage in my life, (yes, there is still someone or things I could handle), and am learning something new every day at my age (69). One of those things I am trying to learn is how to become accustomed to "wealth". Still working on the attitude. You are fortunate. May you and your loved one continue to love one another.
#36
Originally Posted by weezie
Originally Posted by MNQuilter
I call this resiliency! I'm young yet but life has already taken me down paths I never expected. Just remember to pray the prayer that never fails , "Thy will be done." He never gives us more than we can handle and gives us the strength and grace in measure to the task. Focus on what you need today and I'm sure you already know that it all seems to work out in the end.
I think that for people who commit suicide, there is usually more going on than the situation. I truly believe that mental illness is just that, an illness, with a root in the person's physical body. It is not a weakness, lack of faith, or any other shortcoming on their part. I could go into a ton of research about why there seems to be a higher prevalence of these things if someone cares to discuss it. There is so much going on in our brains that we are just beginning to tap, that we don't know what is causing many mental illnesses and unfortunately, there has always been a huge stigma around this field that there was very little progress. It amazes me that medications that were developed for things like seizures are being used for mood and behavior stabilization. Shouldn't this say something about mental illness? No one thinks seizures are the fault of the person and if they just wanted them to get better enough they would.
So, to answer your question, and please know that this is my OPINION, based on my knowledge and experience working with people with mental illness, some of which have been institutionalized, suicide is a CHOICE that a person made when they could not see beyond the immediate issues in their life. Most times there has been some type of mental illness, usually depression, that has been either untreated or poorly treated. These two unfortunate things overwhelm the person and they make the choice that they can't handle it. God has given us free will and these people have exercised that free will, often to the pain of the people they have left behind. I don't think it is God's will for these people to end their lives but they choose to.
I believe still what I originally wrote, that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, but it is up to us to ask for help if we are feeling overwhelmed. I never stated or meant to imply that we have to handle it by ourselves.
#38
Junior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 233
Hopefully life will turn around for you. You will be in my thoughts.
Can you find any community service, church, etc. that might help you get back up again?
Can you find any community service, church, etc. that might help you get back up again?
#39
as another survivor of suicide (lost my brother in '05) I can honestly say I've learned A LOT about mental illness and suicide over the last 4 years. You know what weezie- suicide, like sh** happens. life sucks and then some people choose to die. It is the choice of the person to commit suicide- I've realized there's no sense in trying to understand the why- it as their CHOICE and we get to live with the consequences.
Mental illness I've learned is a chemical imbalance. I say if someone needs a prescription to take the edge off life- go right ahead and take them, I'll even help you open the bottle and get you a glass of water.
How people choose to deal with their life's ups and downs is up to them. It's not up to me to look down upon someone who is in a mental institution for being unable to cope- I'd rather have them there getting treatment than on the street waiting for them to snap and causing harm to others.
We all have our soapbox- I am a HUGE fan of education for suicide awareness- it's the only positive thing I can think of that came out of my brother's death. Reduce the stigma- let people know there's help out there- they just have to ask for it.
(My family fractured after his death too- try holidays, etc. where ALL of your siblings and parents are together celebrating- but you. You can't attend because you stood up for what you KNOW is right and was accused of wrongdoing- even after being proven right, they still won't talk to you. I'm wondering if I will be allowed to go to my parent's funerals when they die.)
You have a computer- google it, research it, go to the website for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention- start to turn something negative into something positive- hope for the person that needs it.
(jumping off my soapbox now)
Barb
P.S. I've reinvented myself several times too- divorce, job loss, etc. But I figure it's up to me to find my next dollar- not to put my hand out for it. I stay positive, surround myself with positive people and convey a positive attitude to others. Hand me my rose colored glasses any day!
Mental illness I've learned is a chemical imbalance. I say if someone needs a prescription to take the edge off life- go right ahead and take them, I'll even help you open the bottle and get you a glass of water.
How people choose to deal with their life's ups and downs is up to them. It's not up to me to look down upon someone who is in a mental institution for being unable to cope- I'd rather have them there getting treatment than on the street waiting for them to snap and causing harm to others.
We all have our soapbox- I am a HUGE fan of education for suicide awareness- it's the only positive thing I can think of that came out of my brother's death. Reduce the stigma- let people know there's help out there- they just have to ask for it.
(My family fractured after his death too- try holidays, etc. where ALL of your siblings and parents are together celebrating- but you. You can't attend because you stood up for what you KNOW is right and was accused of wrongdoing- even after being proven right, they still won't talk to you. I'm wondering if I will be allowed to go to my parent's funerals when they die.)
You have a computer- google it, research it, go to the website for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention- start to turn something negative into something positive- hope for the person that needs it.
(jumping off my soapbox now)
Barb
P.S. I've reinvented myself several times too- divorce, job loss, etc. But I figure it's up to me to find my next dollar- not to put my hand out for it. I stay positive, surround myself with positive people and convey a positive attitude to others. Hand me my rose colored glasses any day!
#40
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: lost in fabric & I'm not coming out until Secret Quilt Angel is over.
Posts: 938
Originally Posted by Emjay
trupeach I cannot imagine a 5,000 sq ft sewing room, let alone a home as large as yours might be. I came from very humble beginnings, have all I need or want at this stage in my life, (yes, there is still someone or things I could handle), and am learning something new every day at my age (69). One of those things I am trying to learn is how to become accustomed to "wealth". Still working on the attitude. You are fortunate. May you and your loved one continue to love one another.
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