madamekelly

Lynnie, I am so sorry you had parents like mine. I have always taken great pride in the fact that I always treat people with much more respect than I ever experienced. I always looked at them as the parents I was issued, and at least I was strong enough to survive. I have literally hundreds of "my kids" that were not mine, but I made sure they knew they had value to me. I guess we had to survive what we did, so we would teach others a better way to be. Once I left home, I never voluntarily went home again. It was enough that they showed up at my home unwanted and unannounced. When My real father passed, it was a huge relief, and I even spent a couple days upset that all I felt was relief for me, my siblings and our children. I do understand the "not getting hit, being a good day" too. I had broken bones and massive bruises that I had to hide under make up as a teen just to be able to go to school. I want you to have a big hug from me for being as strong as you were, and not being willing to pass it on. You are golden.

As for the rest of you, I love knowing and visiting with each and everyone of you, and hope the rest of your lives are a testament to resilience. Hugs.

notmorecraft

I was an only child, and the only mantra from my parents was as long as you did your best. They were happy when I got A's but supportive with any other mark, as long as I did the best I could. Raised my boys the same way.

waltonalice

My parents told us to do our best and were upset only if they thought that we had been lazy. They also told us that they expected us to help make the world a better place by our having been here. My Dad, a 20 year Marine pilot, always woke us up to, "Rise and shine, another day, another chance to excel." They led the way by being curious about everything.

sewbizgirl

I think the OP was meant to be humorous and I took it as such. The subject of parents seems to have touched a raw nerve in a lot of us, tho. All I can say is that I am so sorry to read of the abuse some of you have grown up with, and to encourage you to get some support for the wrongs you have suffered, so that you can heal. Lots of churches host "Celebrate Recovery" groups, and they are NOT just for alcoholics and drug addicts. They are for hurt people too. Free, and as good as any therapy sessions you might pay for. I recommend these groups to you.

tessagin

I cancelled and deleted the comments I wrote. It's too sunny out to think back on black clouds. the storms are over.

AZ Jane

I was 11, they just wanted to move on with their life, even though we were not physically left behind, we were emotionally. I still have guilt that I didn't raise my kids much better. I mimicked what I lived. My parents eloped without finishing high school and my grandparents never forgave them, so there was no support from Mom's side of the family. My father's side was so poor, they could barely take care of themselves, much less someone else's kids. Oh well, I did the best I could with what I had but my kids barely speak to me. Except at mandatory holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving.

bearisgray

It was meant to be humorous - I was so taken aback at some of the responses.

I did have my share of events that were hurtful to me at the time - I was an extremely sensitive, thin-skinned person - but after reading some of these posts - Oh. My. God. (I seldom use that phrase - because it is one that I use for "in extremis" conditions/situations.)

I hope that those of you that were treated badly have been able to break the pattern. As others have said - help may be needed to recover and change.

Stitchnripper

I didn't realize it was meant to be humorous! Sometimes I think a thread is innocently started and then it goes in an unintended direction and then sometimes it seems to become sort of judgemental - I'm thinking unintended also - like one is "better" if one makes the bed, prewashes new clothes, wears (or doesn't wear) a bra, etc". Anytime a sentence starts with "I was always taught" or "I was raised to" I feel like I am going to be on the not taught or not raised right. Although I raised myself and taught myself things. This is only meant to explain how I see things sometimes. YMMV

bearisgray

As far as making a bed, wearing (or not wearing) a bra, etc. type threads - I just take them as casual curiosity questions - with no judgement intended by the original poster.

Stitchnripper

I don't think the original poster intends judgement either! I guess because we can't see each other, or get the "tone" of what someone is saying, it is sometimes hard (just speaking for myself) to get the real intention. I don't think anyone goes out of their way to be judgmental, it just comes across that way sometimes (to me). I am not offended, upset, hurt feelings, or any of that. Just commenting.