Friends and honesty
10-20-2011, 04:09 PM
#92
Power Poster
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 10,703
Maybe God is wrong and wants us to learn to think for ourselves and become more than what we are now or maybe there is no god except for the one we create in our own brain, IMHO. In the defense of people everywhere!
peace
peace
10-21-2011, 09:52 AM
#95
Power Poster
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MN
Posts: 24,522
Depends on the situation.
Lies should be avoided. Too hard to remember what they were and what subsequent ones need to be told to make the original one(s) hold up.
Even "the truth" is subject to memory and interpretation.
Even "little white lies" can lead to annoyances and misinterpretation -
Example: Someone tells me they "just love the fruitcake you gave us for Christmas!" - and they really don't like it at all - so I go make them more fruitcake (expensive to make and I personally don't like it) because I think they really like it - and then they get it and they are thinking "who in the world can I give this to" - or worse yet - they just dump it and wonder why in the world do I keep on giving them fruitcake for Christmas?
This is an example of where "honesty" is difficult - How does one say "I hate fruitcake" when one has just been given a fruitcake?
(hmmm - interesting that I came up with "fruitcake" for this example! )
Lies should be avoided. Too hard to remember what they were and what subsequent ones need to be told to make the original one(s) hold up.
Even "the truth" is subject to memory and interpretation.
Even "little white lies" can lead to annoyances and misinterpretation -
Example: Someone tells me they "just love the fruitcake you gave us for Christmas!" - and they really don't like it at all - so I go make them more fruitcake (expensive to make and I personally don't like it) because I think they really like it - and then they get it and they are thinking "who in the world can I give this to" - or worse yet - they just dump it and wonder why in the world do I keep on giving them fruitcake for Christmas?
This is an example of where "honesty" is difficult - How does one say "I hate fruitcake" when one has just been given a fruitcake?
(hmmm - interesting that I came up with "fruitcake" for this example! )
10-21-2011, 10:19 AM
#96
Power Poster
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 15,639
Originally Posted by bearisgray
(hmmm - interesting that I came up with "fruitcake" for this example! )
A few years ago I was visiting Germany on my birthday. My mom said that she would make this traditional cake and I told her that she doesn't need to make it for me. She INSISTED because it was tradition and she had ALWAYS made this cake and on and on. Since my non-verbal expressions didn't get through to her, I finally told her that I really don't like that cake. It is too rich and my system can't handle all that buttercream. As a fact, I have NEVER liked it for that reason. Growing up, I forced myself to eat one obligatory piece.
My mother said: But I always made it for your birthdays.
My sister, my brother, and I answered: Yes, we know.
Mother: Why didn't you tell me before?
Answer: We did, but you chose to ignore us.
So it needed the 2x4 between the eyes approach for her to get our attention. Normally, I try to be a little more in tune with my friends to read between the lines so that "brutal" honesty won't be necessary.
10-21-2011, 11:02 AM
#97
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 374
Originally Posted by bearisgray
Depends on the situation.
Lies should be avoided. Too hard to remember what they were and what subsequent ones need to be told to make the original one(s) hold up.
Even "the truth" is subject to memory and interpretation.
Even "little white lies" can lead to annoyances and misinterpretation -
Example: Someone tells me they "just love the fruitcake you gave us for Christmas!" - and they really don't like it at all - so I go make them more fruitcake (expensive to make and I personally don't like it) because I think they really like it - and then they get it and they are thinking "who in the world can I give this to" - or worse yet - they just dump it and wonder why in the world do I keep on giving them fruitcake for Christmas?
This is an example of where "honesty" is difficult - How does one say "I hate fruitcake" when one has just been given a fruitcake?
(hmmm - interesting that I came up with "fruitcake" for this example! )
Lies should be avoided. Too hard to remember what they were and what subsequent ones need to be told to make the original one(s) hold up.
Even "the truth" is subject to memory and interpretation.
Even "little white lies" can lead to annoyances and misinterpretation -
Example: Someone tells me they "just love the fruitcake you gave us for Christmas!" - and they really don't like it at all - so I go make them more fruitcake (expensive to make and I personally don't like it) because I think they really like it - and then they get it and they are thinking "who in the world can I give this to" - or worse yet - they just dump it and wonder why in the world do I keep on giving them fruitcake for Christmas?
This is an example of where "honesty" is difficult - How does one say "I hate fruitcake" when one has just been given a fruitcake?
(hmmm - interesting that I came up with "fruitcake" for this example! )
10-21-2011, 09:18 PM
#98
Junior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 264
I have learned in my years people use the term absolute honesty to hurt. and there is very little difference in the term tactless and honesty. I don't have many friends because I don't expect much by way of anything from a person.
I have however been put on suspension from a job when a supervisor open his mouth very wrong, and called me out of my name, and I honesty told him his fighting skills must be as sharp as his words, that mine were and I was seriously ready to see who was the best.
I have however been put on suspension from a job when a supervisor open his mouth very wrong, and called me out of my name, and I honesty told him his fighting skills must be as sharp as his words, that mine were and I was seriously ready to see who was the best.
10-22-2011, 05:48 PM
#100
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: New Milford, CT
Posts: 501
I have one BFF-she and I can talk and gripe and let each other know we are there for each other.
When I am being a witch(with a b) she tells me to knock it off. She listens when I'm down and celebrates when I do something I am proud of. She let's me know when I have given too much of myself and when I am being an orge. I do the same for her.
She is the sister of my heart and I trust her more than I do my family.
My other BF is my husband. We connect on another plane all together. The trust, caring and honesty is there as well.
Honesty, trust, caring is the basis of my relationships. And that is why both have lasted as long as they have, thru overseas posts and oceans separating us.
When I am being a witch(with a b) she tells me to knock it off. She listens when I'm down and celebrates when I do something I am proud of. She let's me know when I have given too much of myself and when I am being an orge. I do the same for her.
She is the sister of my heart and I trust her more than I do my family.
My other BF is my husband. We connect on another plane all together. The trust, caring and honesty is there as well.
Honesty, trust, caring is the basis of my relationships. And that is why both have lasted as long as they have, thru overseas posts and oceans separating us.
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