Friends and honesty
10-19-2011, 12:31 PM
#71
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: 53 degrees North
Posts: 1,679
Originally Posted by mamaw
EXAMPLE:
I recently went to the coast with a cousin and a friend for the last hoorah before cold weather. There was an ice cream booth offering samples for 25 cents and advertising lobster ice cream. Well, of course we had to try it!! When the owner asked for my opinion....I responded that it was "unique" and I definitely would not want a cone of it. Immediately, my cousin appologized for me and my honest response. I didn't like her doing that and the owner even spoke up and said "I like the honesty. It is fun listening to what people have to say about it". Then he went on to tell us there are 3 whole lobsters in each batch. I didn't feel badly about my opinion, but angered that my cousin felt the need to apologize for me.
I recently went to the coast with a cousin and a friend for the last hoorah before cold weather. There was an ice cream booth offering samples for 25 cents and advertising lobster ice cream. Well, of course we had to try it!! When the owner asked for my opinion....I responded that it was "unique" and I definitely would not want a cone of it. Immediately, my cousin appologized for me and my honest response. I didn't like her doing that and the owner even spoke up and said "I like the honesty. It is fun listening to what people have to say about it". Then he went on to tell us there are 3 whole lobsters in each batch. I didn't feel badly about my opinion, but angered that my cousin felt the need to apologize for me.
10-19-2011, 12:35 PM
#72
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 4,541
There's a difference between being honest and uncensored about it, and honest and tactful.
I think that their is a way to say what you want to and still be kind.
My Dad used to say, "sometimes the truth hurts, but there's always a diplomatic way to say it"
I think that their is a way to say what you want to and still be kind.
My Dad used to say, "sometimes the truth hurts, but there's always a diplomatic way to say it"
10-19-2011, 02:39 PM
#74
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lebanon Missouri
Posts: 2,668
Originally Posted by sewwhat85
imho there is a difference in honesty and and being cruel i believe that in a friendship you can be honest in a loving and kind way. If i think what I am going to say may damage the friendship I would not say it or would try to say it in a different way. It all depends on the value of the friendship.It just like your mom used to tell you if you cant say something nice dont say anything at all.
10-19-2011, 03:03 PM
#75
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 946
Originally Posted by pocoellie
I don't have a lot of "friends" although I have plenty of "acquintances" and that is my choice, but I don't hold back on speaking my mind, although I would never intentionally say anything to hurt anyone's feelings. If you can't speak the truth to a friend, then I don't think it's much of a friendship. My opinion.
10-19-2011, 03:25 PM
#76
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 10,703
It is a two way street. What I don't like is being lied to. Lying is so easy and really does no good. I won't lie about anything, so I think silence is golden and I also chant to myself " be the puppy". ... If I can't say or do something pleasant, I don't say anything.
10-19-2011, 04:27 PM
#79
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 2,879
I think sometimes people confuse "being honest" with expressing their opinion. If someone asks you if you like their haircut and it's already been cut, what good is it to say it looks stupid, even if it does? How about " I'm just being honest - I think you need to lose weight". Not very nice,even if it IS honest. I wouldn't want to lie to someone, but I think a lot of things can be left unsaid.
10-19-2011, 06:08 PM
#80
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Quilting, crocheting, sewing and crafting in my Sewing Room...Peaceful and wonderful !!
Posts: 5,317
Originally Posted by frauhahn
The way I see it, if you can't be honest with a friend, it isn't much of a friendship. . .
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