Roberta

Living through those years of being told "we're too old fashioned" has it's trials but kids need structure in their lives and they will apreciate it later on.

The hardest part are teacher conferences when you feel like the oldest person in the school. Oh, and helping them with math and algebra is a hair raising experience.

Hang in there. Your DGD loves you even if she doesn't always admit it.

3TreeFrog

I can honestly say that if I had to raise grand children, then I would rise to the challenge, however I am not sure that it is something that I would choose to do. I am like every parent on this forum, I only want what is best for our child/ren!

I do admire those that do raise their grandchildren, it is not as easy task.

TreeFrog

Slow2Sew

Grandkids are my favorite hobby, but 'jeez they wear me out! I'm not sure who raised my kids: it couldn't have been me, because it is really hard work! :-?

omak

"Generation gap" is a hoax. Finest thing about right and wrong, good and bad - - AGELESS! It never changes - - though the argument for "doing my own thing" sound almost reasonable.
I explained to my children - - "You are mine for eighteen years. During that time, I will try my level best to keep you fed, clothed, housed, and educated about how to be your own man or woman. YOUR job is to learn how to be obedient, cuz, baby I ain't teaching you nothing that you aren't going to learn the hard way - - learn it at my knee or learn it the hard way, but you will learn it."
I always encouraged them to realize that when they graduated from high school, then they could do whatever they wanted. I would prefer that what they did was logical, ethical, and moral ... but, when they get "out on their own" then they could do whatever they wanted to - - and pay the price for bad choices ... not a problem to me.
The height of my "glory" was when oldest daughter pulled a dumb stunt AGAINST HOURS OF HARANGUING !!! and thought I would never find out.
Poor girl! her friends said: "Well, if that witch was my mom, I would do x, y, z" ... she even managed to get one of my "friends" to try to cover for her :shock: :shock: :shock: ...
Know what the teachable moment was? None of those jerks had to be the one to stand there and take the consequences ... but, it was comforting to me - - I had never realized what power there was in: "You have to go home" ...
It was with pure joy that I pronounced: "That DOES IT!" (at the top of my lungs in the best DI manner any woman has ever offered - - right in her face)
"You are NOT ever going to get a drivers' license until your HUSBAND gets it for you"
LOL - - she didn't ever want to get married, and she wasn't old enough to know that at some point she wouldn't need any authority to help her! LOL She was soooo good for about four months! LOL
ahhh, heck, she was a good girl ... I just decided that if my kids were going to disobey me, they would have to fight heaven and earth to get it done ... <wave>
Raising children is like riding horses or training anything - - you just have to want what you want more than they want what they want. LOL
there is one difference, though ... teenagers are well on their way to adulthood ... you have to be able to explain yourself on a more adult manner when differences arise. Not many of us want to explain ourselves to anyone - - it means we might have to actually KNOW why we do what we do. <wave>

sasseyib

I remember telling my daughter the same thing about having her own then she would know how I felt. My granddaughters are all teenagers and the parents are now saying the same things to them. Its so funny and also so neat watching all of them develop into young ladies. I am sure glad I am pass all the drama though.

omak

When I was growing up, I thought I was so reasonable and couldn't understand why my parents wouldn't sit down and discuss things with me ... and, then I had children of my own and found out - - children are NOT reasonable! It isn't their job, first thing - - and secondly they have no experience to temper their wild imaginations. Even teenagers, who are slowly coming into the age of reason, are best not left to their own imaginations.
INPUT - - select the best stuff to input ... and, when it is needed, your words will ring in their ears better than if you were standing there over them with a whip and chair <g> ...
When I got children of my own, I began to understand being responsible for what they learned and how they responded to the world around them ... when it finally dawned on me that I faced a higher Judge than their peers, their teachers, and the "village" at large ... my ideas of what my parents were trying to teach me started changing.
Thank God my parents were well-based in fundamental right and wrong - - left to my own devices the world would be a much more dangerous place <g> ... <wave>
Don't know if you can tell it, but I REALLY enjoy life and living and was a very hard learner ... it could have been so much more easy for me if I had just been half as wise as I thought I was smart ;)

3TreeFrog

I just want to be one of those grandmas that can take the grandchildren and spoil them for the time that I have them then send them home! That is what my son had, and that is what I would like his children to have.

ddrobins1956

I raised my oldest Gr. daughter for the first 5 yrs of her life. My daughter was only 17 when she was born and just not ready to be a mom. They both lived with me untill my daughter graduated from high school and then she went off to school and I kept the baby. I surely don't regret that decision. My daughter had time to grow up and become a good mother and my gr. daughter is now 17 herself. We are and always have been very close. Those were precious years with her. Sometimes we just do what we have to do.

3TreeFrog

I would have to agree with you, this is exactly what I would do for my child. Now having said that I pray every day and night that he doesn't get his girl friend pregnant. (Note the spaces between girl and friend, well that is the stage that they are at in their relationship, and we all know that that might not mean anything!) While I would love to be a grandmother this is not the time for me to be one!

fktsewing

Thank you---it is not as easy when you are older, but it is worth every bit of the effort. I love my grandaughter, she is the light of my life. We have been through lots of things together and I am extremely proud of the young lady she has become. We do what we have to and for me at least, I know God has been right there on my shoulder the whole way.
Bravo to all the Grandparents raising grandchildren on this board.