ButtermilkMama

My DD had a C-section for both of her children so I did help her out!!!

psquared52

I am actually staying with my son and DIL after they had their 4th in mid March. Her parents are both gone and I was able to help for all their kids. First baby, I came a week after her birth (they were SO happy to me) and stayed 4 weeks. With each new baby, I stayed longer...6 weeks, 8 weeks and 12 weeks. It was a little weird with the 1st baby, adjusting to their lifestyle, home, cooking, etc. I learned to offer an opinion if asked and support their choices/decisions. I did laundry, cooked, shopped as well as whatever else needed to be done. I do try to schedule time away (shopping or movies) to give us time apart. The whole experience definitely brought us closer together. We both cry time I leave. I don't live near them and have actually travelled great distances to be there to help. It has made me an integral part of their family and brought my DIL and I much better friends. I'm very lucky to have the flexibility to be there for them all and wouldn't change it for the world.

Momsmurf

Both my boys live in other states, one much closer than the other, but in both cases, they handled the birth themselves.
I suppose if I had daughters I would have asked if they would like me to come over to help. Both DIL's managed very well without "parents" around and it has seemed to work out well. They both have their own "ideas" as to what they want done and how it's done. :wink:

Kas

Volunteer! They might think they don't need help, but they will. I was so thankful to have one or the other set of grandparents for my first three babies. No one was able to come out for the fourth and that was the one I had to have a c-section with. I could really have used some help. I don't think my kids could keep me away if they were having a baby!

JanTx

Hospital my DGS was born in allowed only one person in delivery, so of course that was my SIL. His parents and my husband and I stayed until we were chased out by the doctor. That's how they wanted it - to be just the two of them - so it was all good. They had also planned to be just the 3 of them for at least an hour after he was born - bonding time. We were all respectful of that, but they were so excited to share him that we were called in just a few minutes later.

I stayed with them for about a week after they went home. Then his mother took over for a few more days. We live just an hour away so can be available when needed. I totally agree with those who have said to let the mom and dad take care of the baby. I did whatever else was needed. Did find that only my version of "You are My Sunshine" and my experienced walk/sway would quiet him. I just wasn't as tense as they were, but ahhhhh.... to be needed! :)

DIL's are just different in my world. But that DGS was in PICU for a couple of weeks. I took my shifts staying with him there, but was just welcome to visit after that - not stay and help. Her mom lives next door so ... they worked it out between them.

katcincinnati

Contact them and ask them.

grammysharon

I stayed 3 nights @ my son's when my GD Nadia was born. I live not too far away so I would drive over and make dinner and stay the night. My new little granddaughter was all mine for 8 hours. My DIL would pump so I just had to warm bottles etc. Loved every minute of it. I will be forever grateful that my DIL's Mom couldn't get off work but I could :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Marvel

When my first son had that experience he needed help . I offered as she had a hard time. Then when my other son and wife had their first Her Mom was on the other side of the world. So when they called we packed and drove so far. Got to hold my 3rd GC on the day he was born. Thank you for asking. In a busy live at times we tend to not recall some very sweet memories.

Jan in VA

As a childbirth educator, I was constantly amazed at the couples, or the families of pregnant couples, who behaved as if the labor and birth room was a party scene, expecting to be there and often interferring with the energy between mother and baby, and mother and dad.

We always used to tell them, "Look, if they weren't there when you all got the baby in, they don't need to be there when you get the baby out." !!! :shock:

I would think about giving your couple a brief 3-5 day period alone with the baby before your arriving. They are running on nervous excitement during this babymoon time. They likely could really use the help starting the 2nd thru the 6th weeks, when sleep deprivation begins to really kick in, the house work piles up, and dad has to go back to work. Fatigue often causes some of the bloom to be off the rose by then!

Congratulations on the new baby coming!

Jan in VA

bakermom

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As a childbirth educator, I was constantly amazed at the couples, or the families of pregnant couples, who behaved as if the labor and birth room was a party scene, expecting to be there and often interferring with the energy between mother and baby, and mother and dad.

We always used to tell them, "Look, if they weren't there when you all got the baby in, they don't need to be there when you get the baby out." !!! :shock:

Jan, thank you for pointing that out. I thought I was the only one here that feels childbirth is not a spectator sport.