tntgranny

My mother-in-law came to be with the new baby and me while my husband was at work for the first 2 weeks. She was a great help - my house was never as clean (she couldn't just sit). Even my oven got cleaned. A year and a half later when the second was born she came for the first 2 days. Then when the third one came another year and a half later she didn't come at all. Guess she figured that by the third one I didn't need help. That was when I could have really used help.

raedar63

Touchy subject and many factors to consider here,,,,Personally i am a loner type and would not like it .

Barbm

never had help with any of ours so I said I was going to be there for our grands. I was at my 2 gs's births. My dd lived with me at the time so I cared for Noah since Dad was in japan in AF. I loved every minute! I cried terribly when he came for them 10 mos. later.

My Zachary is so special- he knows he can have grammy and me time any time he wants. I helped my dd when she came home from the hospital until she said she was OK. She lives pretty close so I can give her a break when she needs it.

happynana

I live in NE and my DD lives in PA. We agreed that they needed to be alone for the birth of their children, and as soon as she went into labor I would leave to go to her. For my first grandson I was there the day after and stayed almost 6 weeks. DD had a c-section with him and needed the help. I was there to cook clean and do laundry. Basically I ran the house while they bonded with the baby, Will never regret it. For my second grandson, I stayed 3 weeks and spent a whole lot of time with my little man so mom could have time with the baby. She is thinking about a 3rd and has already asked me to figure out how I can leave my sick hubby to come when she has the baby. We will work it out because I would never give up the chance to be there and help-and of course dote on the Grands!!!

cindit

I stayed for one week for my each of my 4 grandchildren. It was my daughters having the babies. We'll see what happens when it's my son's turn. If you have a good relationship and you think they would be receptive to the idea, ask if they need you. When I had children, my husband stayed home the first week. After that, I was fine.

joannegn

From a daughters point of view: by all means offer to come and help. However, the mom is to rest and take care of her newborn and Grandma is there to make that easier on her. My Mom came but she took care of my daughter and when it came time to have a meal she did not step forward and I had to do it. Not helpful. Also when she left I felt I had not gotten to know my baby as I should. My mother-in-law was much more helpful when she came when my first child was born.

Cassews

I made up enough food for the new family for a month when my oldest had her first baby. She was so worried about having the time for everything, so I decided freezer was the way to go, so I cooked along with my DH and we cooked and cooked.. She was so happy when she came home from the hospital to find her freezer stocked, canned goods galore oh and a couple (well quite a few !LOL) boxes of diapers. I would go over and help her out with house cleaning, laundry, dishes whatever she needed on weekends .. Just to help her was her joy as she always said to me & her dad. We never gave advice tho as the other side of the family was good for that !!LOL

drdolly

My oldest DD and SIL asked before they had their first born if I would come and stay to help out. I was ready in a flash. My youngest DD and SIl asked if I would be in the delivery room so YEP, I was there. If they ask to be in the delivery room, it is the most exciting time and I also believe there is a different type of bond with that grandchild. I think each DD might have a difference in the way they want you to help out.

lass

Definitely offer to help. I said I would come, but not the first week they were home unless circumstances waranted. I wanted Dad, mom and baby to bond as a family. Then I stayed three weeks, left for a week and went back for another week. Now I live real close and it is wonderful.

LindaaJR

If you want to be there, ask them. I am sure they would love the help and experience (if they listen LOL). BUt if you really do not want to be there and not good at hiding your feelings, do not go. If it is your first grandchild you will love it. Take care.
Linda