have you stayed with your child when they had their first child
05-25-2011, 10:28 AM
#73
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: St. Paul, MN
Posts: 514
Originally Posted by catrancher
I would ask if they want you to come and see what they say. My mom and dad came when I had my first baby. They were more trouble than help. They were not supportive of breast feeding and they were critical of everything I did with the new baby. My first, and as a youngest, I didn't have a lot of experience. I was in tears nearly every day. So . . . all of that to say that if you go to help out? Help, don't hinder. Best to keep one's opinions to onesself and help with the baby, the housework, and the cooking so mom and dad can get some sleep. BTW, when I had my next baby, I asked them not to come. It was so much easier on all of us.
I let the new momma sleep in and baby and I had a blast bonding, getting the dishes done, doing the laundry. When I left it was with a firm invite from DIL to please come back and visit soon.
05-25-2011, 10:43 AM
#75
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Western Arizona
Posts: 1,930
Originally Posted by Hosta
to help out? I can't decide if I should volunteer to go to Maryland to help out because I know the other grandma probably won't. Should I just ask them if they want me for a couple weeks or wait and see if they ask me?
05-25-2011, 11:32 AM
#77
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Olympia,Washington
Posts: 638
Ask, My youngest daughter wanted me with her. So caught a quick flight on the first and on the second went down to Ca. 2 days in advance.and stayed 2 mos since the babies were 11 months apart. C-section babies. the 2nd time was my first grandson and I was very proud to be there and cut the cord. Now that is a weird feeling, nothing like I thought. I was also with my oldest daughter when she had her 1st and 3rd. on her 2nd I had just put the 1st one to bed.It is so exciting, now my son went it alone didn't even see there little one for a few days, they didn't want any one around .I'm sure it was the mom's idea.She was private.
05-25-2011, 11:48 AM
#79
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 2,879
My mother and I always got along great and she would have been wonderful to have, but she had such a bad experience with her MIL that she stayed away on purpose. She did hire a nanny for a week to help me, but my husband finally had to call her to come over, and tell her I needed her and she would NOT be imposing. I only have sons, so we'll see!
05-25-2011, 12:04 PM
#80
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Tucker, GA
Posts: 2,042
Offer but don't be offended if they turn you down....it's a lot having "company" around when you have a new baby, even if it's your mom you feel the need to be meeting HER needs and that can be a lot with a new baby. I didn't offer since they lived too far away and I couldn't take the time off from a new career but everything was fine.....
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