May in Jersey

As the mother of 3 married sons I didn't offer and knew that one wanted only her Mom and the other 2 were do it yourselfers. DH and I were always available for helping out and babysitting, as grandkids got older we took them on vacations, etc. and here we are coming full circle with our first great grandchild expected to arrived end of August.

aeble

I wasn't sure if I should ask my Mom, it seemed kind of selfish since I live across the country from my parents and she still works. I did end up asking her, and she was thrilled to be here and in the delivery room along side my husband. She stayed for 10 days and we really appreciated the help. Especially in supporting my husband as a gate-keeper so I could get the rest I needed.

The first few weeks were very overwhelming for me. I don't know how my husband and I would have survived it without her help and that of my MIL.

Floralfab

My mother wasn't with me when my kids were born, but that was back in "the day". When my grandaughter had her first child last year my daughter was with her all thru labor and said she wouldn't have missed it for the world. So was her MIL who is a nurse. I have decided that if my grandaughter has another child I too will be there with her. Maybe not at the very beginning but at the age of 75 I would LOVE to see a child enter this world. If you go to your daughter you will never regret it.

Meme2six

My three daughters and I have a very honest relationship. With the first grandchild, I offered to come spend the first night with the DD, SIL and baby but my son-in-law wanted them to do it by themselves. At 6:00 the next morning, he asked my daughter "when is your mom coming?" He was exhausted and ready for help! I never stayed with them over night but came several mornings and stayed as long as they needed me during the day. This son-in-law is one of my best friends and very special to me. He even said once that his mother couldn't come live with them but his mother-in-law (me!) could. I don't think I've ever had a bigger compliment.

BrandyMcCoy

Being a mom of four kids, I'd say make the offer to them. I loved my mom helping me. I was so tired when she was there so it was nice to have help. My husband helped when he got home from work, but a man's cleaning and cooking is not what a woman would consider good...lol...at least in my house anyways:)

Olivia's Grammy

When Olivia was born DS took the first week off so they could bond as a family. Her mother and I took turns the next week. Olivia is almost 2 and I still help/do as much as I can when we visit. I want my DIL & DS to spend as much time as possible with my precious GD. They both work. When Olivia is sick and can't go to school, we care for her. Not an easy feat since they live 74 miles away. Uusally we have her for several days at a time. AND yes, we love every minute of it. We have bonded so much more than the other grandparents.

Olivia's Grammy

When Olivia was born DS took the first week off so they could bond as a family. Her mother and I took turns the next week. Olivia is almost 2 and I still help/do as much as I can when we visit. I want my DIL & DS to spend as much time as possible with my precious GD. They both work. When Olivia is sick and can't go to school, we care for her. Not an easy feat since they live 74 miles away. Uusally we have her for several days at a time. AND yes, we love every minute of it. We have bonded so much more than the other grandparents.

Anna.425

I had home birth with both babies, AWESOME! We asked everyone to give us two days on our own before visiting. On the day after my first child was born my mom called to check in and asked if she and Dad could come for a visit on the third day. They brought lunch, did the cooking, cleaned up, held grandbaby and we had a lovely visit.

My MIL called each of three Sundays prior to the birth, drunk off her rocker, and demanded to know when I went into labor. When DS was a week old my Mother hosted an open house tea so that friends could welcome the baby. DS was on the couch asleep when MIL was leaving. She was almost out the door when she came back in, picked up DS, woke him up and he screamed for the next 5 h ours.

You tell me which one I wanted around when infants were born.

When my second child was born my mom came for a week, then my sister came for a week, then my brother came for a week. It was great to have an extra set of hands. While she was there my Mom did the grocery shopping, balance my checkbook (way out of wack), made sure that child #1 never felt neglected while I took care of baby, she took care of baby so child #1 and I could have our time and she cooked. My sister came down the month before the birth and helped me sew everything for the nursery then after the birth she did the housework and surprised us with getting the carpets cleaned. My brother came down and put in a rose garden while he was there. Even though it was a messy job I never had to clean up after him nor did a spec of dirt get into the house.

I know that you probably really want to go and if it truly is your daughter's choice to make, then offer. Be prepared to take care of and not be taken care of. As long as you are not pushy about it, it will be a loving offer.

Sew and Sew

When my daughter was expecting her first baby (he is now 4), well I had hoped that I would be able to be there during the birth. I am an ICU nurse. Anyway she told me that I would NOT be in there for the delivery, that her husband would be the coach. Saddened, but respectful.....My husband and I took our place in the waiting room with her mother in law and family. I had already planned to stay when she needed me at home, she said hubby would be home the first 5 days then I came after that for about a week. So here we are sitting in the waiting room.....call #1...........would I please come back to the labor room........I did, got her through some rough times....back to waiting room.......respectful.....call #2..........she needed me now.......back in, after getting her over the nausea and vomiting....back to waiting room.......respectful..........call #3........as i entered the room I could tell she was having a rough time, pushing etc. So I got right in and helped........then as I was preparing to leave......she grabbed my collar, pulled me into the bed and said "WHY DO YOU KEEP LEAVING ME..........I LOVE MY HUSBAND, BUT he sucks as a coach........heehee..........so the rest of the story as they say is history......he and she was glad I was there, and I was on clougd 9. So talk it over with your daughter or son........and find out there wishes......Things have a way of turning out for the best.

patticriss

My mother has stayed with all of us, myself and my 5 sisters, whenever we had children (and there are 17 grandkids!). It was never a question whether or not she'd be there, she just was, but I flew all the way to Connecticuit, from Oklahoma, to be there for my son and DIL for their first child...no one else came, her parents live in Washington. When I got there I found that they had reserved a motel room for me, at my expense, mind you, because they were afraid we'd drive each other nuts...I was allowed to stay with them during the day to clean and do laundry, but that was all....