Heavy decison to make
03-27-2010, 08:54 AM
#31
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Merced, CA
Posts: 4,188
What a marvelous man you have, that his STEP-son wants
to keep in touch with him.
Since you know you will say yes to your husband's request,
do it gracefully, and dear hubby will have that love in his mind
for the rest of his life.
And, you just may be surprised at how nice the kid may be,
of course he's old enough to know it was you whom he
has to really thank for letting him back into STEP dad's life.
Go for it, he's not moving in permanently, and, like Flylady
says="You can do anything for fifteen minutes" so take this
a little further="You can stand any visitor for three days or so".
Try it, you might make a difference in this kid's life. Maybe he
does not have a good mother figure in his life right now. We
do not know what is going on in other's lives.
to keep in touch with him.
Since you know you will say yes to your husband's request,
do it gracefully, and dear hubby will have that love in his mind
for the rest of his life.
And, you just may be surprised at how nice the kid may be,
of course he's old enough to know it was you whom he
has to really thank for letting him back into STEP dad's life.
Go for it, he's not moving in permanently, and, like Flylady
says="You can do anything for fifteen minutes" so take this
a little further="You can stand any visitor for three days or so".
Try it, you might make a difference in this kid's life. Maybe he
does not have a good mother figure in his life right now. We
do not know what is going on in other's lives.
03-27-2010, 09:48 AM
#33
Power Poster
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Front row
Posts: 14,646
It's so sad that kids are put in the position of multi parents that come and go in their lives. I think any adult that has a part of that situation should do what is best for the child. It's obvious the boy had a bond with you DH and needs to be with him for awhile to reconnect.
03-27-2010, 04:23 PM
#35
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: mapleton,iowa
Posts: 303
you cannot punish the child for what the father did neither can you punish the father for a mistake if you complian and don't let him visit you are punishing them both and are being sefish only thinking of your self been through thatn and it broke up my relation ship because i only thought about me
03-27-2010, 05:16 PM
#36
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 3,155
If the smile I see in your picture is the real you, then I feel you will handle this meeting. You look like a strong woman. Let you husband know how you feel about his step-son. Stand by your husband, you may win a new family mamber.
Whatever you do will affect each one of you. Just make it postive. Prayers are with you.
Whatever you do will affect each one of you. Just make it postive. Prayers are with you.
03-27-2010, 06:39 PM
#37
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Sun City, CA
Posts: 487
I have been in this situation and had to realize that the child had a need to be filled and he looked to his stepfather to provide it. His own father was a loser. Your husband must be a wonderful person to even consider helping this young man connect with him. Consider yourself blessed.
03-27-2010, 07:43 PM
#38
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: North Central Texas
Posts: 656
It would seem that you've been given plenty of advice. So, I just would like to wish you well with whatever decision you make. The past never goes away, we just learn from it and move forward. It would seem that you and your husband have managed to move forward very well. Sounds as though you were just meant to be together. That says alot I think...
03-28-2010, 03:56 AM
#39
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Southeast Georgia, USA
Posts: 9,128
it's all a matter of perspective.
you have a chance to welcome a new person into your life whom you might love and who might love you back.
a son - and one who didn't give you stretch marks.
sounds like a win/win/win to me.
you have a chance to welcome a new person into your life whom you might love and who might love you back.
a son - and one who didn't give you stretch marks.
sounds like a win/win/win to me.
03-28-2010, 04:49 AM
#40
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 9,688
I think this boy's needs should be top priority. You and your dear hubby might have something very important he needs. Hubby needs to know you're a bit nervous about the meeting so he can help you feel at ease... maybe a little extra affection--touches while he's there, so the teen has a clear message how in love you are--that's what you need. Seventeen--an important year for a boy. He needs positive role models, and he will see what a wonderful woman his ex-step-dad is married to. :wink:
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