Hillbilly Medical Terminology For the Layman...funny!!
03-18-2011, 07:28 PM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Crystal River Florida
Posts: 9,785
Artery: The study of fine paintings.
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.
Barium: What to do if CPR fails.
Benign: What you are after you be eight.
Cesarean Section: Someplace in Rome.
CAT scan: Looking for kitty.
Cauterize: Got that purty girl to look at me.
Colic: A sheep dog. Looks like Lassie.
Coma: A punctuation mark.
D & C: Where Washington is.
Dilate: To live long.
Enema: Not yer friend.
Fester: Quicker.
Fibula: A small lie.
G.I. Series: Baseball games between teams of soldiers. Hangnail: What ya hang yer coat on.
Impotent: Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff: A doctor's cane.
Morbid: A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates: Lower than day rates.
Node: Was aware of.
Outpatient: A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear: A lie about someone's Pappy.
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative: A letter carrier.
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.
Rectum: Damn near killed him.
Secretion: Hiding anything.
Seizure: Roman emperor.
Tablet: A small table.
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor: More than one, usually three.
Urine: Opposite of you're out.
Varicose Vein: Veins that are very close together.
Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria.
Barium: What to do if CPR fails.
Benign: What you are after you be eight.
Cesarean Section: Someplace in Rome.
CAT scan: Looking for kitty.
Cauterize: Got that purty girl to look at me.
Colic: A sheep dog. Looks like Lassie.
Coma: A punctuation mark.
D & C: Where Washington is.
Dilate: To live long.
Enema: Not yer friend.
Fester: Quicker.
Fibula: A small lie.
G.I. Series: Baseball games between teams of soldiers. Hangnail: What ya hang yer coat on.
Impotent: Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff: A doctor's cane.
Morbid: A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates: Lower than day rates.
Node: Was aware of.
Outpatient: A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear: A lie about someone's Pappy.
Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative: A letter carrier.
Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.
Rectum: Damn near killed him.
Secretion: Hiding anything.
Seizure: Roman emperor.
Tablet: A small table.
Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor: More than one, usually three.
Urine: Opposite of you're out.
Varicose Vein: Veins that are very close together.
03-18-2011, 07:34 PM
#4
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: illinois
Posts: 1,169
A few years back we had a "talent" show at the facility where I worked. I gave a speech about our nursing home using some of these terms and a lot of others. This can be used easily to make a very funny oratory.
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