Rebecca VLQ

Everyone has given some great advice. And I'll just chime in...I know a hoarder (my mom) and it's definately a symptom of feeling emptyness in some other aspect of life, and acquiring is what they do to help. But it doesn't help.

beckyw

Isn't having more fabric then we need hoarding.

earlylace

Don't know about you, I am going to use it all !!!! lol -Lace

Rebecca VLQ

^^^I think that's the difference w/fabric, craft supplies, etc...versus hoarding. I mean...you COULD be a fabric hoarder. If you didn't dig into your stash ever...if you just acquire more and more and don't put it to use.

(which is why I felt a little pang of guilt when I opened this thread. Am I a hoarder? A fabric hoarder? I make things...don't I? That means I'm not a hoarder...right? Nevermind that I have a thousand yards of fabric...I'm gonna use it...right? ;) )

quiltilicious

I'm not so sure. I've got craft supplies I've "saved" that are now no good (example: a Costco "case" of gluesticks that have dried up).

I learned a LOT going through my parents' house after they died. They didn't necessarily "hoard" - because the house was always neat and roomy, but they sure didn't throw *anything* away. If it could possibly be useful at some time, it was saved. I think living through the depression did that to people.

I threw away utility bills from houses they didn't own for 40 years that my dad had saved. He also kept ledgers of bills... going back to 1930. It was interesting from an historical POV to see loan documents for a 5-year loan for 65 dollars, and how much the medical bills were for my birth, but I don't know that we need to keep such things or enshrine them.

However, my mom's been gone since the 12/02 (when we "closed" their house) and my dad's been gone for almost 2 years now, and I still have probably 20 or more boxes of papers packed and waiting for me to go through from their home. It doesn't help that my mother was a novelist and I've got 40 or so manuscripts that I am not ready to simply throw away.

quiltinghere

Quiltilicious - why not get the manuascripts published?

In my opinion "hoarding" is holding on the stuff that should be just thrown away - like empty boxes, torn stained clothes, furniture falling apart, newspapers, pop cans, magazines, broken things, etc. Things a hoarding person just can't/won't throw away like 'normal' people would throw away.

Large stashes of fabric, crafts, sewing machine, tools, cars, paintings....that would just be *A* collection.

MistyMarie

I have to admit that for awhile I had a really hard time giving away my kids old toys and clothes because I felt like I was losing their childhood and that I would be hurting those who gave me the toys and clothes in the first place if I got rid of them. This was true for anything in my house that others gave me. I didn't want to hurt their feelings if they knew I eventually got rid of something they had given me. (I was hurt as a child when I gave a neighbor lady a jewelry pouch gift I had purchased with hard-earned money and I found it under her little girl's bed being used as a dolly purse only a few days later. It ruined my relationship with her and made me vow I would NEVER do that if someone gave me a gift.) Anyway, when we moved, it cost us over a thousand dollars more to move our things here because we had too much stuff. That was the turning point. I had to give myself permission to get rid of things. I have been slowly downsizing ever since. I still have too much kid stuff, but I have been giving away my kids clothes (to friends who need them for their children) and tell them that they can donate what they don't want (so they don't feel obligated to keep anything like I did). I believe hording can be, in part, a fear that throwing out something will cause one to lose the memory attached to that item (as in a stuffed animal or old loan paperwork.)

quiltilicious

they ARE published! (google "Elizabeth Mansfield" and "Regency Romance") I kept thinking that the originals with notes from editors and her own scribblings would be of interest to her fan base or her alma mater or something, but nobody else is really interested in preserving them.

quiltilicious

This is what I am doing with my favorite of my (now 16 year old) daughter's baby clothes: I'm making a quilt out of them! I was planning to surprise my daughter with it at some point, but I don't think she remembers the outfits NOW, much less whenever I get the thing finished :)

I just got rid of 6 trash bags full of her childhood clothes - donated to the High School clothing drive. DH and I went through, item by item, remembering dressing her in this or that, and going "aaawwww" a whole lot - we acknowledged the item and the memory and then let it go. It may take forever to sort through stuff that way, but it seems to be a much better alternative than keeping things forever.

I am still rather miffed at my mother for gifting my plastic (BEYER) horse collection that I left at her house... mostly because she didn't ask me. Of course I became interested in them again (after 20 years of neglect) when my own daughter wanted such things, and I discovered how much they were selling for on eBay. :lol:

mommaB

In Ohio you can contact the county Council on Aging and they can help get you pointed in the right direction and provide contacts and resources. I don't know about your state, but they probably have something similar. It can be a psychological condition that needs to be dealt with by professionals (I'd like to believe I can save the world, but I can't!). Thanks for caring about this woman, so few people are that selfless these days. :-D You'll feel better too if you can get her some help :!: God Bless you.

Mary