Ladybugnana

I'm sorry but the comment that "it's not right to the GP" hurts. I have been raising my grandson for the last 40 months and have full custody of him. I am the only mom he knows because my daughter had him at 15, had her second at 17 and has taken Nathaniel with her on the streets. I don't see him and worry about him all the time. I wouldnt trade raising Zach for anything and count my blessings that I can do this on my disability payments without help from my mom. Please realize some of us do this because we have to and it is right for us to do so.

fktsewing

Yours truly quilts and Barbara A.God bless you both. Your stories make mine seem very monor. You both are angels in my book.

Honey

When our youngest DGS was born, our DS and his wife were seperated. Because she had been with so many men and made no bones about it my DS demanded a paternity test. I was all set to not get attached to this baby until I knew for sure that he wouldn't get ripped away from us. Well, she decided to take a class that started two days after he was born. DS had to work, so that left us to take care of him 10 hours a day or more. The first time I held that preciouse little boy in my arms and he snuggled in, I was lost and knew that it would never matter who his father was, he would always be my DGS. He is so dear and holds a very large chunk of my heart. He is now almost 2 and comes running to "mamaw" everytime he sees me. When he was tiny I would rock him and sing to him. I would constantly whisper in his ear how much I loved him and always would. I did this all the time because his so called mother rarely held him at all much less cuddled or loved him. Although they have 50/50 custody of the boys, DS has them about 90% of the time. He is a very good dad and has a good daycare for them, but we help out whenever he needs us. I don't consider it so much a duty as a priveledge and a true gift from God.Every time I see him I have to pick him up immediatly so he can put his ear on my mouth and I can whisper how much I love him then he is down and playing. And yes, DS IS his dad. But as I said, it really didn't matter.

tooMuchFabric

My 13-mo. grandson is my first and as yet only grandchild, and I am almost 66. So he is a treasure by any definition. It also helps that he is cute as a button and very smart, and a cheerful and loving baby.

But the thing is, the parents, my son and his new girlfriend (and her 2-/12 yr old son who has no father anywhere), got pregnant within a month of meeting, not knowing really anything about one another. Not wise choices on their parts, and I just shake my head to think of it, but it seems to be a new kind of world today.

The girl has no family anywhere locally, and her own people refused to take her and her 1st son back in after a long, troubled history.

They all three lived with me until she was 8 months along, then moved into their own place. The holdup on their getting married was the scandalous behavior of the girl, making enemies of all her new relatives here. I have never thought I would have such in my house.

I am ashamed to say, the girl is one amazing, unbelievable piece of work, irresponsible and lazy and ungrateful and a liar.
She said she would move away and not tell him where she was, and not put his name on the birth certificate if they were not married by birth time.

They got married 3 weeks before birth, and it was H*** from the git-go. Son has always worked, and at this time he worked 12-hr shifts in a dangerous job, and she said what he did at work did not count, only what he did when he was home. She has never been a housekeeper nor does she do laundry nor cook, and she does not watch her (now) 4 year old at all.

She threatened daily to take the baby and go where my son would not find them, if he did not start getting up at night to take care of the baby so she could get her rest, and take her to eat and buy clothes when he was off. She said a man provides for his woman.

All of that was their own business, until my son snapped and took the baby at age 7 wks and came to live with me, filed for divorce and got primary custody of the baby.

The child is now almost 13 mo. and the divorce will be final this next week. They have supposedly equal custody time (4 on, 4 off) with my son having all primary residence and decision rights, but in fact the baby spends more than 60 percent of the time with us because of the kinds of places the girl spends the nights. She has never worked and will never work.

My son works nightshift, sleeps days, so I keep the baby most of the time.
In spite of all this, the baby has a large, extended, long-established, loving family here, that is dedicated to giving him stability and love and attention and values.
I have hopes that all will turn out ok in the end.

My son seems to have had a rude awakening for all the trouble he has caused everyone including the baby, and seems to have made some decisions about who he associates with.

I know that as grown people it's their lives to lead, but I'm very alert to my grandchild and the upbringing he gets as time goes by, and I try to be as much as I can be to help him grow to be a good man.

Rainy Day

my hat is off to all of you who care for their grandchildren.
Take care of yourselves in all this

IrishNY

I believe that TMG meant that it isn't fair to expect grandparents to become parents all over again when they already raised their family. I feel the same way. If you do it by choice or feel that you are happy doing so because of the love you feel for your grandchild, that's wonderful and I am inspired by you.

Roberta

I think I'm finally finished raising my first grandson who we adopted when he was 6 years of age. He basically had been abandoned since birth, because very ill at 2 years and we stepped forward and raised him. It's a difficult situation all around and though my DD lives nearby, she has never participated in any activites of her first born. He harbors great resentment but is getting over it.

The positive side is we get to correct any mistakes in raising our children in the past. Many don't get to do that so it's a blessing.

I go To The Sea To Breathe

YTQ

I can really identify with your story. Our DD that is living with us while we raise her children will not wqrk, does not care if she has clean clothes, altho she is starting to help with the runnng around picking up kids from events etc. She is a good cook, but uses almost every dish in the house and pots and pans..I think the changing has been more on DH and I to just libve with what we can and try and instll the right values in the younger ones...Our main problem is the two older ones 20 and 22 have suffered the last 2 years since DD moved back into their lives, when DD tries to act like "mom" they resent it. Our 20 girl is staying at college this summer because she doesn't want to be around her mom. the 22 year old boy has the hardest time with her, he just can't forgive her for what she has put the famly through and she isn't a comtributinh member of this family , he says....I worry more about the two oldest ones having such a hard hearted approach towards her. We were foster parents for several years and too in many newborns and a few preschoolers, how could I not have taken our own grandchildren? Our DD knew that we could take any child and love it. I would stll love to foster a little one, but they can out run me now. I have fibro and need a new knee for 2 years now, but keep puttng it off until after one more out of town soccer tournament...It true we don't know what we will be called upon to do in this life....but the 2 older ones love my DH and I and would do anything for us...It was so much fun raising them....and great kids and athletics. We just love them so much. And we love the 2 younger but we came into ther lives at a dfferent point....they had seen us once a year, but are fnally accepting us.....it has helped that the older siblings have taken the younger under ther wngs and helped to teach...

I go To The Sea To Breathe

[quote=I come to the sea to breathe]Just wondering how many are raising their grandchildren. We have raised the 22 yr old, his 20 yr old sister since basically since birth. And we adopted the next 2 , two yrs ago. They are 12 and 15, boy is the youngest...He is are sewer and likes soccer he got and received a used sewing machine for this past Christ*mas. Now their mother ( our DD, age 37 moved back in with us). The older two do not even consider her as mother, they use to see her twice a year, until she moved back to our state 2 yrs. ago. How do you deal with things regarding your child, the DD and still be the parent to the older children who don't accept her and the younger ones who accept her?[/quo

I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU WHO RESPONDED TO MY POST. IT HAS BEEN SO STRANGE TO BE IN MY "OWN" PEER GROUP. TO BE THE ONLY ONE IN THE GROUP THAT HAS TO STILL GO TO PARENT/TEACHER MEETINGS AND THE TEACHERS ARE THE AGE OF SOME OF MY GRANDKIDS...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR KIND ENCOURAGMENT AND WORDS OF WISDOM. WE ALL LEARN FROM ALL WE COME IN CONTACT WITH. YOU KNOW WE DID T THE FRST TME WITH THE TWO THAT ARE IN THEIR 20'S AND THEN DID T AGAIN...THS TME IS A LITTLE HARDER, BUT IT S THE KIDS WE ARE THINKING OF. THANKS SO MUCH, I GUESS I DIDN'T HAVE MY FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES OR THE RIGHT PLACES....I SHOULD HAVE GONE ONLINE LONG AGO....THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE AND HUGS GO TO EACH OF YOU,,,I HOPE I CAN BE A BETTER PARENT...THANKS, JACKIE

I go To The Sea To Breathe

Ladybugnana
What an adorable child...I had to laugh, I once told someone that I used every available restraint for children made when the older 2 were babies...they were 17 months apart and I was 47. Extra strength tylenol was my helper, and not needing a lot of sleep. They never slept at the same time...but they were so much fun...we laughed and laughed at them...Love those babies they grow up way too fast...thanks for the pic it made me smile..