HOW MANY ARE RAISING GRANDCHILDREN?
04-26-2010, 08:37 AM
#41
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Bar Harbor, ME.
Posts: 2,911
I can so relate to you. My "baby" is now 25 graduated from college and lives in Philly. I too have fibro and need a knee replacement but can't seem to find the time, or the courage, to have it done. I had one and it wasn't very successful and I need the other done.
I also had my DD move back home with her new hubby and two boys. This stay was only for 2 months but gosh, I've lost count how many times this has happened and on Social Security it's really difficult. My "baby" also stayed at college for two summer sessions rather then come home and have to deal with his "mother". And the funny part is, when he confronted her on his issues she didn't have a clue as to what she had done to anger him, gee really, think hard :-(
I also had my DD move back home with her new hubby and two boys. This stay was only for 2 months but gosh, I've lost count how many times this has happened and on Social Security it's really difficult. My "baby" also stayed at college for two summer sessions rather then come home and have to deal with his "mother". And the funny part is, when he confronted her on his issues she didn't have a clue as to what she had done to anger him, gee really, think hard :-(
04-27-2010, 02:59 AM
#42
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Westerville, Ohio
Posts: 711
You know, we all think we are alone in this, but look at how many of us are going through pretty much the same thing! To those who think it is horrible that "kids" are putting this onto their parents to raise their kids---yes, it is not right, we raised our kids the best we could and obviously the "grandparents" are responsible adults, but a very wise woman known as my Granny once told me "No matter what the parents do or are, those sweet babies did not ask to be born with parents like that and deserve every chance to be loved and that is why God made Granparents so special". Whether we do it because we want to or have no other choice, we do it for the children. May God be with each and every one of us as we continue to do what is best for our grandchildren.
04-27-2010, 07:45 AM
#43
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: North Sioux City, SD
Posts: 1,669
Ladies,m whar beautiful thoughts. I know we are doing the right thing for the kids I guess it just all hit me this past winter, fall and summer when my DH had to have the 3rd by-pass surgery, then had to retire. And its not that we haven't gone thru other trials. But this was hitting us from evert direction and the waiting from June when he went in and only had a blood count of 6 until he was well enough for surgery in Novenber. Loss of income, daughter won't work, but my Mom died 2 years ago, but she always loved kids and loved these two younger ones and the 37 tr old that is lazy and won't hardly cloth herself. I try to remember that she too could take antones child and love it. And that was how I had always been too. I guess that I just needed to re connitt and be so thankful. we certainly have much more then manny people have. Going thru this lost of income and I have talked to some of the nicest bill collectors on the phone. Nice prople wgo really want to help you not lose tour home etc. And of course to be led to this wonderful group of people. I have to close this off or I will never stop. GOD BLE.SS THE CHILDREN aND GIVES ALL WHO CARE AND LOVE THEN THE STRENGTH TO BE ABLE TO HELP WITH HOMEWORK, SOCCER PTACTICES, BOYFRIENDS, ZITS, HEIGTH, WEIGTH, EYC ETC. THANK YOU, JACKIE
03-26-2011, 07:50 AM
#45
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: PA
Posts: 334
Originally Posted by tooMuchFabric
My 13-mo. grandson is my first and as yet only grandchild, and I am almost 66. So he is a treasure by any definition. It also helps that he is cute as a button and very smart, and a cheerful and loving baby.
But the thing is, the parents, my son and his new girlfriend (and her 2-/12 yr old son who has no father anywhere), got pregnant within a month of meeting, not knowing really anything about one another. Not wise choices on their parts, and I just shake my head to think of it, but it seems to be a new kind of world today.
God bless you and I pray for any Grparents and the "babies" out there in these situations.
The girl has no family anywhere locally, and her own people refused to take her and her 1st son back in after a long, troubled history.
They all three lived with me until she was 8 months along, then moved into their own place. The holdup on their getting married was the scandalous behavior of the girl, making enemies of all her new relatives here. I have never thought I would have such in my house.
I am ashamed to say, the girl is one amazing, unbelievable piece of work, irresponsible and lazy and ungrateful and a liar.
She said she would move away and not tell him where she was, and not put his name on the birth certificate if they were not married by birth time.
They got married 3 weeks before birth, and it was H*** from the git-go. Son has always worked, and at this time he worked 12-hr shifts in a dangerous job, and she said what he did at work did not count, only what he did when he was home. She has never been a housekeeper nor does she do laundry nor cook, and she does not watch her (now) 4 year old at all.
She threatened daily to take the baby and go where my son would not find them, if he did not start getting up at night to take care of the baby so she could get her rest, and take her to eat and buy clothes when he was off. She said a man provides for his woman.
All of that was their own business, until my son snapped and took the baby at age 7 wks and came to live with me, filed for divorce and got primary custody of the baby.
The child is now almost 13 mo. and the divorce will be final this next week. They have supposedly equal custody time (4 on, 4 off) with my son having all primary residence and decision rights, but in fact the baby spends more than 60 percent of the time with us because of the kinds of places the girl spends the nights. She has never worked and will never work.
My son works nightshift, sleeps days, so I keep the baby most of the time.
In spite of all this, the baby has a large, extended, long-established, loving family here, that is dedicated to giving him stability and love and attention and values.
I have hopes that all will turn out ok in the end.
My son seems to have had a rude awakening for all the trouble he has caused everyone including the baby, and seems to have made some decisions about who he associates with.
I know that as grown people it's their lives to lead, but I'm very alert to my grandchild and the upbringing he gets as time goes by, and I try to be as much as I can be to help him grow to be a good man.
But the thing is, the parents, my son and his new girlfriend (and her 2-/12 yr old son who has no father anywhere), got pregnant within a month of meeting, not knowing really anything about one another. Not wise choices on their parts, and I just shake my head to think of it, but it seems to be a new kind of world today.
God bless you and I pray for any Grparents and the "babies" out there in these situations.
The girl has no family anywhere locally, and her own people refused to take her and her 1st son back in after a long, troubled history.
They all three lived with me until she was 8 months along, then moved into their own place. The holdup on their getting married was the scandalous behavior of the girl, making enemies of all her new relatives here. I have never thought I would have such in my house.
I am ashamed to say, the girl is one amazing, unbelievable piece of work, irresponsible and lazy and ungrateful and a liar.
She said she would move away and not tell him where she was, and not put his name on the birth certificate if they were not married by birth time.
They got married 3 weeks before birth, and it was H*** from the git-go. Son has always worked, and at this time he worked 12-hr shifts in a dangerous job, and she said what he did at work did not count, only what he did when he was home. She has never been a housekeeper nor does she do laundry nor cook, and she does not watch her (now) 4 year old at all.
She threatened daily to take the baby and go where my son would not find them, if he did not start getting up at night to take care of the baby so she could get her rest, and take her to eat and buy clothes when he was off. She said a man provides for his woman.
All of that was their own business, until my son snapped and took the baby at age 7 wks and came to live with me, filed for divorce and got primary custody of the baby.
The child is now almost 13 mo. and the divorce will be final this next week. They have supposedly equal custody time (4 on, 4 off) with my son having all primary residence and decision rights, but in fact the baby spends more than 60 percent of the time with us because of the kinds of places the girl spends the nights. She has never worked and will never work.
My son works nightshift, sleeps days, so I keep the baby most of the time.
In spite of all this, the baby has a large, extended, long-established, loving family here, that is dedicated to giving him stability and love and attention and values.
I have hopes that all will turn out ok in the end.
My son seems to have had a rude awakening for all the trouble he has caused everyone including the baby, and seems to have made some decisions about who he associates with.
I know that as grown people it's their lives to lead, but I'm very alert to my grandchild and the upbringing he gets as time goes by, and I try to be as much as I can be to help him grow to be a good man.
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08-14-2010 07:41 PM
