I am too excited to sleep!
11-30-2013, 06:23 PM
#32
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,260
THAT IS WONDERFUL!!!!! I do family history for several branches of my family and some that aren't but I love doing it and finding all the hidden information that is out there. I found a "new to me" cousin about 2 years ago and he loves doing family history as well so any time we get bored we call each other and sit for hours on the computer doing research together.
YES there are a lot of people with family trees on ancestry's web page that do nothing more then copy off what someone else has showing and chances are their information is WRONG. I have proven this more times then I can remember and it's so frustrating at times that I want to throw in the towel, but I've been a member for over 10 years and if you are willing to go the extra mile to verify the documents you can get some great information from them. I am a firm believer in verifying all documents before adding any information from them to my trees.
Life is fun and full of new beginnings, enjoy them while you can.
YES there are a lot of people with family trees on ancestry's web page that do nothing more then copy off what someone else has showing and chances are their information is WRONG. I have proven this more times then I can remember and it's so frustrating at times that I want to throw in the towel, but I've been a member for over 10 years and if you are willing to go the extra mile to verify the documents you can get some great information from them. I am a firm believer in verifying all documents before adding any information from them to my trees.
Life is fun and full of new beginnings, enjoy them while you can.
11-30-2013, 10:46 PM
#33
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dallas area, Texas, USA
Posts: 3,042
Okay, on the surface this sounds like a wonderful story, and I certainly hope it is true, but your family definitely needs some evidence that this person is on the up-and-up. Unless at very least some family member knew about the pregnancy, you, and especially his siblings, probably should insist on DNA evidence and/or should try to track down the birth and adoption records independently. A con man could be trying to finagle his way into your homes or hoping to get an inheritance. It never hurts to be cautious. Possibly the easiest thing to check out is proof that he really was a neurosurgeon. Consult the medical board in the state where he says he practiced. Also check about that bar exam. I hate to be negative, but he seems a little too good to be true! If he is telling the truth, he should not mind at all that people want verification. If he evades any questions or seems nervous or vague, you must go with extreme caution.
If he knew the parents' names he could surely have accomplished the goal of finding you 10-15 years ago, it seems to me. Also, most certainly if you, as a female relative, customarily use a name that you acquired by marriage, you have to wonder why he didn't first find and contact one of the male relatives.
I believe that in most places for many years now, before a divorce is granted there is a waiting period of several months. There are questions about the possibility of a pregnancy. After the waiting period both parties have to appear and sign papers. Divorce laws are written this way in an effort to protect the interest of children, including those not yet born. It probably would not have been that easy for your aunt to have a baby that her ex didn't know about, and then to give the baby up, the rights of both parents have to be severed. If a child is conceived during a marriage it is considered by law to be the father's child, whether this is true biologically or not. I can't begin to guess if this would have been true in every state 60 some years ago, but it seems like a good bet that it was probably true in most of them. Best wishes!
If he knew the parents' names he could surely have accomplished the goal of finding you 10-15 years ago, it seems to me. Also, most certainly if you, as a female relative, customarily use a name that you acquired by marriage, you have to wonder why he didn't first find and contact one of the male relatives.
I believe that in most places for many years now, before a divorce is granted there is a waiting period of several months. There are questions about the possibility of a pregnancy. After the waiting period both parties have to appear and sign papers. Divorce laws are written this way in an effort to protect the interest of children, including those not yet born. It probably would not have been that easy for your aunt to have a baby that her ex didn't know about, and then to give the baby up, the rights of both parents have to be severed. If a child is conceived during a marriage it is considered by law to be the father's child, whether this is true biologically or not. I can't begin to guess if this would have been true in every state 60 some years ago, but it seems like a good bet that it was probably true in most of them. Best wishes!
11-30-2013, 10:50 PM
#34
Power Poster
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Outside St. Louis
Posts: 38,213
My Daughter has researched my side of the family and some of my Husbands also. We were able to confirm some by military records. Birth, death records and census help confirm some things. My memory has helped too. My dad's side is harder to find.
My Husband was adopted by his grandparents. He was in constant contact with his birth mother growing up and still today. Legally his mother is his sister, his late aunt was too. He also knew his dad and doesn't have real good memories of him, he is dead now.
He has second cousins who have found sisters and a brother recently, same mother all had different fathers.
I hope you get to meet your cousin soon.
My Husband was adopted by his grandparents. He was in constant contact with his birth mother growing up and still today. Legally his mother is his sister, his late aunt was too. He also knew his dad and doesn't have real good memories of him, he is dead now.
He has second cousins who have found sisters and a brother recently, same mother all had different fathers.
I hope you get to meet your cousin soon.
11-30-2013, 11:22 PM
#35
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Central Willamette Valley, Oregon, USA
Posts: 7,695
Okay, on the surface this sounds like a wonderful story, and I certainly hope it is true, but your family definitely needs some evidence that this person is on the up-and-up. Unless at very least some family member knew about the pregnancy, you, and especially his siblings, probably should insist on DNA evidence and/or should try to track down the birth and adoption records independently. A con man could be trying to finagle his way into your homes or hoping to get an inheritance. It never hurts to be cautious. Possibly the easiest thing to check out is proof that he really was a neurosurgeon. Consult the medical board in the state where he says he practiced. Also check about that bar exam. I hate to be negative, but he seems a little too good to be true! If he is telling the truth, he should not mind at all that people want verification. If he evades any questions or seems nervous or vague, you must go with extreme caution.
If he knew the parents' names he could surely have accomplished the goal of finding you 10-15 years ago, it seems to me. Also, most certainly if you, as a female relative, customarily use a name that you acquired by marriage, you have to wonder why he didn't first find and contact one of the male relatives.
I believe that in most places for many years now, before a divorce is granted there is a waiting period of several months. There are questions about the possibility of a pregnancy. After the waiting period both parties have to appear and sign papers. Divorce laws are written this way in an effort to protect the interest of children, including those not yet born. It probably would not have been that easy for your aunt to have a baby that her ex didn't know about, and then to give the baby up, the rights of both parents have to be severed. If a child is conceived during a marriage it is considered by law to be the father's child, whether this is true biologically or not. I can't begin to guess if this would have been true in every state 60 some years ago, but it seems like a good bet that it was probably true in most of them. Best wishes!
If he knew the parents' names he could surely have accomplished the goal of finding you 10-15 years ago, it seems to me. Also, most certainly if you, as a female relative, customarily use a name that you acquired by marriage, you have to wonder why he didn't first find and contact one of the male relatives.
I believe that in most places for many years now, before a divorce is granted there is a waiting period of several months. There are questions about the possibility of a pregnancy. After the waiting period both parties have to appear and sign papers. Divorce laws are written this way in an effort to protect the interest of children, including those not yet born. It probably would not have been that easy for your aunt to have a baby that her ex didn't know about, and then to give the baby up, the rights of both parents have to be severed. If a child is conceived during a marriage it is considered by law to be the father's child, whether this is true biologically or not. I can't begin to guess if this would have been true in every state 60 some years ago, but it seems like a good bet that it was probably true in most of them. Best wishes!
I do appreciate your warning though. I do know we can't ever be too careful in this day and age. My cousin who will go meet him works for a DoD contractor. He has the ability to check backgrounds more thouroughly than the average person. I will keep you posted.
Last edited by madamekelly; 11-30-2013 at 11:28 PM.
12-01-2013, 01:24 AM
#36
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: 53 degrees North
Posts: 1,679
Your cousin must have been so happy to find you, and, just as importantly, to find in you an open spirit. I would be beyond excited if this happened in our family. I know it can be very difficult for some people to come to terms with puckers in the fabric of their family history, but life is complex, and worth making an effort to engage with!
12-01-2013, 08:07 AM
#38
Power Poster
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Citrus County, Florida
Posts: 10,849
How wonderful. I found some of my older relatives who were super but the younger ones with the family history docs are standoffish and don't want to communicate. I don't want to impose on their lives, I would just like some of the family history on my Dad's side as I have hit a brick wall and they have the key. You are VERY lucky
12-01-2013, 09:12 AM
#39
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Timmins, Ont. Canada
Posts: 4,683
Your story gives me chills. What an exciting adventure you are going to go on. Not many get the opportunity to meet new family, especially after all these years. Get some rest & enjoy your journey.
12-01-2013, 09:30 AM
#40
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: England
Posts: 559
How wonderful for you and your family.
I have a half sister that I have never met and have no way of finding her as all my relatives that knew of her are now passed so I have no information to proceed. It's rather a shame.
I hope you have a good reunion whenever it happens.
I have a half sister that I have never met and have no way of finding her as all my relatives that knew of her are now passed so I have no information to proceed. It's rather a shame.
I hope you have a good reunion whenever it happens.
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