I feel guilty, but....
#11
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,812
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You are most definitely not alone. I used to do it all too for everyone, then realized I do it for ME. I start with a list too. The big dinners, the cookies and bars, the gingerbread houses, the lights, the whole house decorated (even Christmas quilts on every bed) all the cleaning and scrubbing. Everything in its place when it needed to be. My Dad loved Christmas and everything that went with it and I think I inherited it from him. I have toned it down over the years, to clean out older items and bring in new interests and ideas. But what really got me letting go of stuff and having to do it all? The criticism. From MOL, from DH cousin and his brother, and now my son's inlaws. People can be cruel. They just think they are 'helping' by telling us so and so does this or that, when in reality they are speaking to me about my home. It has caused many tears and heartache hearing and being told I didn't need to do it and can you believe what so and so does to her house (I was doing the same-merely putting sprigs of fir on the mantle and the railings. hmpf!) Well, funny thing they all ate the food and enjoyed the goodies though and admired everything done. After losing a job, and family being ill, your priorities take over and it is amazing that Christmas tends to get toned down because it really isn't about having to do it all. Now, I have simple themed family and living rooms and put on some music. I will not let go of my Dad's traditions of having lights on outside or the goodies baked or Michael Buble' (he had Frank Sinatra) playing throughout the house. My new tradition started years ago is to have something quilted to add to my decorations every year. Best wishes to you and your traditions!
#12
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I haven't decorated for the last couple of years, did it for about 47 years. Oldest Daughter has Christmas at her house because she has a 9 YO Son and two Granddaughters, her house is a tad bit bigger than ours. I'm glad to step aside. I bake what I want. Last year I was making a quilt, hurrying to get it done a few hours before we went there. No quilts this year.
#13
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our Hollidays are simple. When I worked in retail, I always had to be at work by 5A.M. the next day for Black Fri. Now I`m retired, the kids are married, and we take turns having hollidays and every one brings some thing to eat. On
Thanksgiveing , those who want to exchange name write 3 things on a slip of paper and put it in the hat. We set a rather
small amt. At Christmas every one gets 1 gift, and you still can buy for GKids if you want. We give to our favorite
charities, as they need it more than we do.
Thanksgiveing , those who want to exchange name write 3 things on a slip of paper and put it in the hat. We set a rather
small amt. At Christmas every one gets 1 gift, and you still can buy for GKids if you want. We give to our favorite
charities, as they need it more than we do.
#14
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: East Tennessee
Posts: 1,102
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I stepped off that merry-go-round a long time ago. I put up a decorated tree and stockings and a wreath on the front door and that's it. We are simple people and I refuse to change that just because. We don't buy much for each other. We like to get our son a "big something". We set a small limit on our parents and our nieces and nephew and that's it. I don't buy for people I work with, or for teachers, or for anyone else. I bake a loaf of bread for these people. Hopefully next year, my sewing skills will allow a little more. But I don't give to anyone because I have to. I do it because it brings me joy. I try to give gifts that will be loved, but I don't stress out too much about it.
It took a while for others to understand that this is the way I am and I'm not going to change. My husband and I are lucky that we are compatible in this way. My sister hates it. She thinks everyone should run up their credit cards and buy whatever they want. I say you can't buy love.
I will never give in to the Black-Friday-thing. I avoid the stores from the 4th Wednesday in November until January!
It took a while for others to understand that this is the way I am and I'm not going to change. My husband and I are lucky that we are compatible in this way. My sister hates it. She thinks everyone should run up their credit cards and buy whatever they want. I say you can't buy love.
I will never give in to the Black-Friday-thing. I avoid the stores from the 4th Wednesday in November until January!
#15
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I usually start after Thanksgiving making cookie dough. I put it in 1qt freezer bags, smush it done to about 1" thick, seal it up and put it in the freezer. I make all different kinds of dough but I don't bake any until later. Anytime a quick tray of cookies is needed for guests, a small gift, etc., I can just take out several different bags, cut off a strip or two, cut them into 1" cubes and in about 10 minutes I have a whole tray of assorted cookies still warm from the oven. I also start addressing my cards and decorating about then. I don't plan to do more than 4 hrs worth of anything on any given day. That way it doesn't wear me down. The last thing I do is to really question myself on what is and isn't important. If there's a party, dinner or shopping trip that I don't absolutely have to go to I politely decline. Remember, if you decline that's one less person that they have to plan for too.
#16
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,051
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We dont have kids. I focus on being at church each Sunday participating it the true meaning of the holiday. It has
been years since I have stressed out if I ever really did in the first place. Our families opted out of all the gift giving
Hoopla. I buy for my one niece and nephew. $$$ is king for them now that they are teens.
My Christmas cards are
ready
To mail. I bought preprinted ones this year and I print out my mailing labels. Rarely does anyone add a personal note in their cards so I decided to quit trying to do that. We are all on Facebook so we hear what has even going on all year round. I'm not a humbug but being together is what s important.
Doing for others such as ringing the Salvation Army bell is rewarding. Give it a try. You will be amazed! Make it a family project or get your church involved by adopting a day to ring.
The media hype is to get you to overspend putting the emphasis on the wrong priorities. Choose what is important to you and forget about what is not. You don't have to be stressed out unless you choose to be. I enjoy this season so much more by not trying to do "everything".
Enjoy it on your terms!
Sandy
been years since I have stressed out if I ever really did in the first place. Our families opted out of all the gift giving
Hoopla. I buy for my one niece and nephew. $$$ is king for them now that they are teens.
My Christmas cards are
ready
To mail. I bought preprinted ones this year and I print out my mailing labels. Rarely does anyone add a personal note in their cards so I decided to quit trying to do that. We are all on Facebook so we hear what has even going on all year round. I'm not a humbug but being together is what s important.
Doing for others such as ringing the Salvation Army bell is rewarding. Give it a try. You will be amazed! Make it a family project or get your church involved by adopting a day to ring.
The media hype is to get you to overspend putting the emphasis on the wrong priorities. Choose what is important to you and forget about what is not. You don't have to be stressed out unless you choose to be. I enjoy this season so much more by not trying to do "everything".
Enjoy it on your terms!
Sandy
#17
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,051
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I stepped off that merry-go-round a long time ago. I put up a decorated tree and stockings and a wreath on the front door and that's it. We are simple people and I refuse to change that just because. We don't buy much for each other. We like to get our son a "big something". We set a small limit on our parents and our nieces and nephew and that's it. I don't buy for people I work with, or for teachers, or for anyone else. I bake a loaf of bread for these people. Hopefully next year, my sewing skills will allow a little more. But I don't give to anyone because I have to. I do it because it brings me joy. I try to give gifts that will be loved, but I don't stress out too much about it.
It took a while for others to understand that this is the way I am and I'm not going to change. My husband and I are lucky that we are compatible in this way. My sister hates it. She thinks everyone should run up their credit cards and buy whatever they want. I say you can't buy love.
I will never give in to the Black-Friday-thing. I avoid the stores from the 4th Wednesday in November until January!
It took a while for others to understand that this is the way I am and I'm not going to change. My husband and I are lucky that we are compatible in this way. My sister hates it. She thinks everyone should run up their credit cards and buy whatever they want. I say you can't buy love.
I will never give in to the Black-Friday-thing. I avoid the stores from the 4th Wednesday in November until January!
Sandy
#18
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 5,397
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Like most I used to be; it's easier now that my kids are older but I still have grandkids to do for. They are my focus. I don't get elaborate gifts; they get so many things that they forget who got them what and alot of things get pushed a side. I feel good once I've gotten them at least one thing each then if I find something else I want to get that doesnt break my limited budget I get it. I get for my grown kids when I can and if I find something that I know that will make them happy. This year my daughter has been wanting clothes so I gave her my JC Penny card and a set a limit. She's already picked out what she wants and they are at my house for my to wrap or rather put in gift bags from the $ store. I bake as I have time. The one thing that is mandatory to bake is our traditional spumonte cake; for my daughter that puts her in Christmas spirit; it is a must to have. I also make biscotti for some of my friends and family. My tree is up already and if I get any other decorations up I will, if I don't oh well, that's not what it's all about. I'm very excited about one thing. Several years ago we lost a lot of decorations that had been always put up since my kids were little. It was hard on them. Yesterday one of the favorite Disney ones that was lost and impossible to find since it was over 20yrs old showed up on CL. I'm going tomorrow to look at it; it is over 1 1/2 hours away and it is so worth it. I told the lady as long as it does work I want it for sure (it's only $20) no questions about that. I'm so excited it's hard not to tell my daughter. Thanks for listening and I hope everyone tries to do things to reduce the stress that is put on durning this season. I have less money this season than I can remember in over 20yrs but I'm not stressing about things that don't get bought or things that don't get done. I just want to focus on the joy of the season.
#19
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 326
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I am like Jo, I buy one small gift to open and give money. Kids are grown so they like the money. Great-grandkids are happy with anything, so money they get also. I sometimes do have to rack my brain for the guys, but I work on things for the girls all year. I try to do away with as much stress as possible.
#20
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i set up the manger for the manger scene......put the wise men in various rooms (they will meet in the hallway in a few days)....Mary and Joseph travel thru the kitchen and arrive at the manger on December 24th the next morning baby Jesus is placed in the manger and the shepards come in from the porch and a few days later the wise men finally arrive..... this is how i celebrate....if you think i am just playing with dolls (LOL) you do it your way.
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