I have the upper hand this time
05-06-2010, 05:47 PM
#1
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 2,735
Well ladies, I am back in NYC, just for a couple of nights to do paper work for my new job and do some research on the school I will be attending. YES!!ME! Back to school at age 47!
Anyway, I am back at my in-laws. but this time, she is treating me like a person. No, she is not nice all of a sudden. She made some huge mistakes last night. She forgot I was there and I was in the room while she was verbally abusing my FIL. He was sick on the couch and she was yelling at him and threatening him. When she found out I heard her attitude completely changed. Couple of hours later she again, forgets that I am sleeping on the couch (only place I can be without severe back pain the next day) and she spent hours on the phone talking horrible things about him. I pretended I didn't hear, but she knows I did.
He had a Drs appointment this morning and I told her to go with him but she waited until the last minute to tell him she was going...of course... and he left without her. She got a call later that he was taken to the ER and was going to be admitted. She then pretended to panic and starts to call all her friends to tell them. Now she is the victim. I took the phone away from her and told her to go to the ER. Surprising, she went. I had to go to my job meeting but when I got back we had dinner and I almost had to peel her off the TV to bring him dinner (He will not eat hospital food), but she came with me, agreeing with everything I say and behaving like a human being.
Let's see how long this last. I will stay here until he is sent home. With the alternate parking in NYC all he can think about is finding a good parking spot where the car can stay more than one day, and now is both his and mine. So off I go now to find good parkings spots.
Anyway, I am back at my in-laws. but this time, she is treating me like a person. No, she is not nice all of a sudden. She made some huge mistakes last night. She forgot I was there and I was in the room while she was verbally abusing my FIL. He was sick on the couch and she was yelling at him and threatening him. When she found out I heard her attitude completely changed. Couple of hours later she again, forgets that I am sleeping on the couch (only place I can be without severe back pain the next day) and she spent hours on the phone talking horrible things about him. I pretended I didn't hear, but she knows I did.
He had a Drs appointment this morning and I told her to go with him but she waited until the last minute to tell him she was going...of course... and he left without her. She got a call later that he was taken to the ER and was going to be admitted. She then pretended to panic and starts to call all her friends to tell them. Now she is the victim. I took the phone away from her and told her to go to the ER. Surprising, she went. I had to go to my job meeting but when I got back we had dinner and I almost had to peel her off the TV to bring him dinner (He will not eat hospital food), but she came with me, agreeing with everything I say and behaving like a human being.
Let's see how long this last. I will stay here until he is sent home. With the alternate parking in NYC all he can think about is finding a good parking spot where the car can stay more than one day, and now is both his and mine. So off I go now to find good parkings spots.
05-06-2010, 05:53 PM
#2
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Southern Illinois
Posts: 3,672
I am glad you are there to take care of HIM and make sure she is acting like a lady, sounds like you have your work cut out for you. Tell her that if she loves her son, she better be glad your mom raised you, not her.
05-06-2010, 06:08 PM
#4
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: North Central Texas
Posts: 656
Perhaps, I am way off base here, but it sounds to me like she has some problems herself. I hope your FIL recovers soon. I'd almost be willing to bet that underneath that tough and rough facade you have a woman who is really insecure and would never admit it.
05-06-2010, 06:19 PM
#7
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 5,142
Sorry about your FIL and hope he gets better but remember, he's stayed with her all these years and he's used to the way she acts--good or bad. If she should suddenly change he may think he's dying. A friend of mine had a very bad bout with cancer two years ago and has since told me, "I knew I was going to be all right because you never babied me. You ragged at me, joked with me just like always and that let me know that you knew I was going to be okay." (In reality I was scared that she was going to die but I couldn't let myself show it.)
He's her rock, the person that keeps her stable, she's in a panic because he's really sick and she doesn't know what to do. That's why she's letting you take over and make the decisions. She probably can't change and when you think about it, being so insecure and being trapped by an all consuming desire to constantly be the center of attention is a horrible way to have to live.
Help him, pity her and pray that your FIL gets better because she'll fall apart without him and guess who will be left to deal with her......
BTW, she sounds just like my first MIL and that was one witch of a woman. Good luck.
He's her rock, the person that keeps her stable, she's in a panic because he's really sick and she doesn't know what to do. That's why she's letting you take over and make the decisions. She probably can't change and when you think about it, being so insecure and being trapped by an all consuming desire to constantly be the center of attention is a horrible way to have to live.
Help him, pity her and pray that your FIL gets better because she'll fall apart without him and guess who will be left to deal with her......
BTW, she sounds just like my first MIL and that was one witch of a woman. Good luck.
05-06-2010, 06:20 PM
#8
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Crossville, Alabama
Posts: 3,382
Maride, hang in there. Things will get better & so glad you have the new job & school to look forward to. Sounds like this mess between them has been going on for awhile. Where is your Taser-gun? Maybe a good jolt would pull her out of her "Mood."
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