I'll get it done...soon
04-08-2010, 06:35 AM
#71
Power Poster
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 17,636
(((Gwyn)))
I was unable to be on board bc of my computer for almost two weeks, I think, so I just found this thread thanks to the kindness of quilting granny letting us know of it.
My heart aches for you, dear. I hope you have even a small idea of the love and affection this board has for you.
You have always been so kind and understanding to everyone. Hoping that our hugs and prayers can be of some help to you at this time.
I was unable to be on board bc of my computer for almost two weeks, I think, so I just found this thread thanks to the kindness of quilting granny letting us know of it.
My heart aches for you, dear. I hope you have even a small idea of the love and affection this board has for you.
You have always been so kind and understanding to everyone. Hoping that our hugs and prayers can be of some help to you at this time.
04-08-2010, 06:43 AM
#73
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Back home in Louisiana for now....where next?? who knows....
Posts: 3,180
My heartfelt sympathies go out to you and your family. Just know all of us here on the board are lifting your family up in prayer during this difficult time. My heart hurts for your loss.
04-08-2010, 07:05 AM
#77
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Tied up in Thread
Posts: 5,109
Oh Gwyn, I'm so sorry to hear that Randy passed away. You have endured so much, and now this. I wish you lots of strength, love and peace so that you can get thru this time. I hope you take good care of yourself too - this is a very challenging time, and it sounds like your children are taking it very hard. Are we always a mother before we are a spouse?
I am sorry I did not see this thread before. I've only spent about 15 minutes a day online for the past month and I miss so many posts. I did speak with janice and she has kept me informed, but just learned that Randy passed away today on this thread. Please accept my sincere condolences. Hugs to you.
I am sorry I did not see this thread before. I've only spent about 15 minutes a day online for the past month and I miss so many posts. I did speak with janice and she has kept me informed, but just learned that Randy passed away today on this thread. Please accept my sincere condolences. Hugs to you.
04-08-2010, 07:48 AM
#79
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: north east
Posts: 8,394
Gwyn, I'm so sorry. I've had family and a boss lose the battle with pancreatic cancer, it is a mean one.
Spend as much time with family as you can for support and we will always be here for you as well.
Spend as much time with family as you can for support and we will always be here for you as well.
04-08-2010, 08:24 AM
#80
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Brigham City, UT
Posts: 1,841
If I have learned anything from this experience it is this:
Have that uncomfortable discussion with yourself about what you would like to have happen. How much invasion of your body do you want to allow. Ventilator? 15-60 minute apart blood gas checks (these are very painful)...Your family needs to know. You don't need to hold a family meeting, just write the family a letter stating in simple language your philosophy about end-of-life care. If the ventilator is something you don't want, say so. It is so much easier for the family if they know what you wanted. Leave your letter in a place where they can easily find it a jewelry box, family business file, just make sure that someone knows where it is. All of our decisions were made easier by having discussed them earlier and with him once we realized how very sick he was.
If you start the ventilator, it is hard to stop it. Allow your children to see what death is like (really like) if you get the opportunity. I wish my children had seen my father die. They would have been prepared for the process better.
Much as most of us don't like the idea, write your will. If you want a big funeral, put the money asside for it and tell people what to do if...
If you want cremation, say so. State what you would like done with the ashes.
Last, put copies of the papers your survivers will need to have to take care of the business end of dying. In that packet, put a blank page that says "Death Certificate" and how they go about getting one.
It is infinitely easier for you to do it, than your family. I have no idea where any of the documents I need are and in my grief I can't think straight enough to figure out what I should be looking for.
Just some thoughts from a tired old widow trying to get life going again. Gwyn
Have that uncomfortable discussion with yourself about what you would like to have happen. How much invasion of your body do you want to allow. Ventilator? 15-60 minute apart blood gas checks (these are very painful)...Your family needs to know. You don't need to hold a family meeting, just write the family a letter stating in simple language your philosophy about end-of-life care. If the ventilator is something you don't want, say so. It is so much easier for the family if they know what you wanted. Leave your letter in a place where they can easily find it a jewelry box, family business file, just make sure that someone knows where it is. All of our decisions were made easier by having discussed them earlier and with him once we realized how very sick he was.
If you start the ventilator, it is hard to stop it. Allow your children to see what death is like (really like) if you get the opportunity. I wish my children had seen my father die. They would have been prepared for the process better.
Much as most of us don't like the idea, write your will. If you want a big funeral, put the money asside for it and tell people what to do if...
If you want cremation, say so. State what you would like done with the ashes.
Last, put copies of the papers your survivers will need to have to take care of the business end of dying. In that packet, put a blank page that says "Death Certificate" and how they go about getting one.
It is infinitely easier for you to do it, than your family. I have no idea where any of the documents I need are and in my grief I can't think straight enough to figure out what I should be looking for.
Just some thoughts from a tired old widow trying to get life going again. Gwyn
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