The importance of dolls and keeping a commitment
#1
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
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All my life, I have never understood what was so wonderful about having a doll. I remember being extremely disappointed one Christmas when the 'best' present I got was a ballerina doll. A doll was so far down on my Christmas list, that it didn't even make it! A few days after Christmas the doll got a haircut and I got in big trouble for it. (How was I to know that it wouldn't grow back?)
Needless to say, that was the last doll I ever owned.
Fast forward to the very recent past
Saturday I volunteered at a garage sale for a local non-profit (no government funding involved) organization. This organization provides clothing, school supplies, toys, and many other items to children who are in foster care.
I didn't sleep well Friday night; when that happens I don't feel well the next day. I thought about staying home, but decided I'd made a commitment to help out and I was going to keep that commitment.
When the garage sale was just about over, we started packing up the unsold merchandise. As I was gathering up the baby clothes that was spread out on a tarp around me, a 7 year old girl arrived with her grandmother. The little girl walked over to me and gently took my hand in hers, then offered to help me pick up the baby clothes. I looked at her Grandmother to see if it was ok, and she gave me 'the nod'.
The little girl carried a well loved 18 inch doll with her. She told me the Doll was her sister. There were some "onesies" for a 3 month old and she said that her "sister" could use a new outfit. I agreed with her. A couple of minutes later, she and I also decided that one of the "onesies" would look good on her "sister" and she could have it as a reward for helping me. She also found a pair of baby socks and a little skirt for her "sister", which were quickly added to the reward.
No doubt about it, I'm a sucker for little kids.
Grandmother had walked out of our sight, into the building. When we had all the clothes picked up, my little friend and I walked hand in hand into the building. She told me her nick-name is Lee-Lee. My response was immediate, excited and happy. "Lee-Lee! That's what I called my older daughter when she was a little girl! I'll never forget you - you have the same name as her!" We were now great buddies.
Inside I chatted with her grandmother for a few minutes while Lee-Lee changed her dolls' clothes. Then I let Lee-Lee know I had to go back to work and she gave me a hug. While getting that sweet hug, I noticed the tracks of tears running down her cheeks. I figured she'd been to one too many garage sales and heard one too many "no's" when she wanted something. It happens.
A few minutes later Lee-Lee and her Grandmother came back outside. Lee-Lee gave me another big hug and told me she'd been crying. I hugged her back and asked why she'd been crying. She told me she missed her sister, and she couldn't see her anymore.
The Grandmother quietly told me that Lee-Lee was one of 4 children, and the other three kids, including her beloved younger sister, were in foster care. Something had happened with their mother and social services removed the kids from her home. Lee-Lee went to her Grandmother, but the other 3 had a different father and he wouldn't let them go with her to their Grandmother.
Oh, how I wished there was a way that I could carry the pain, for even one day, for that grieving child! All I could do was wrap her in my arms for a brief moment and tell her I'd pray that she'd be able to see her sister very soon.
Lee-Lee is heartbroken. The doll, a toy that she and he sister played with together, has become a way for Lee-Lee to carry her sister with her wherever she goes.
I again told Lee-Lee that I would pray that she would see her sister soon, and I reminded her that I will NEVER forget her.
She thinks that I won't forget her because she shares a nick name with my daughter. But the real reason I won't forget her is that she, her doll and her raw grief are unforgettable.
And I thank God that I kept my commitment. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have met Lee-Lee.
Needless to say, that was the last doll I ever owned.
Fast forward to the very recent past
Saturday I volunteered at a garage sale for a local non-profit (no government funding involved) organization. This organization provides clothing, school supplies, toys, and many other items to children who are in foster care.
I didn't sleep well Friday night; when that happens I don't feel well the next day. I thought about staying home, but decided I'd made a commitment to help out and I was going to keep that commitment.
When the garage sale was just about over, we started packing up the unsold merchandise. As I was gathering up the baby clothes that was spread out on a tarp around me, a 7 year old girl arrived with her grandmother. The little girl walked over to me and gently took my hand in hers, then offered to help me pick up the baby clothes. I looked at her Grandmother to see if it was ok, and she gave me 'the nod'.
The little girl carried a well loved 18 inch doll with her. She told me the Doll was her sister. There were some "onesies" for a 3 month old and she said that her "sister" could use a new outfit. I agreed with her. A couple of minutes later, she and I also decided that one of the "onesies" would look good on her "sister" and she could have it as a reward for helping me. She also found a pair of baby socks and a little skirt for her "sister", which were quickly added to the reward.
No doubt about it, I'm a sucker for little kids.
Grandmother had walked out of our sight, into the building. When we had all the clothes picked up, my little friend and I walked hand in hand into the building. She told me her nick-name is Lee-Lee. My response was immediate, excited and happy. "Lee-Lee! That's what I called my older daughter when she was a little girl! I'll never forget you - you have the same name as her!" We were now great buddies.
Inside I chatted with her grandmother for a few minutes while Lee-Lee changed her dolls' clothes. Then I let Lee-Lee know I had to go back to work and she gave me a hug. While getting that sweet hug, I noticed the tracks of tears running down her cheeks. I figured she'd been to one too many garage sales and heard one too many "no's" when she wanted something. It happens.
A few minutes later Lee-Lee and her Grandmother came back outside. Lee-Lee gave me another big hug and told me she'd been crying. I hugged her back and asked why she'd been crying. She told me she missed her sister, and she couldn't see her anymore.
The Grandmother quietly told me that Lee-Lee was one of 4 children, and the other three kids, including her beloved younger sister, were in foster care. Something had happened with their mother and social services removed the kids from her home. Lee-Lee went to her Grandmother, but the other 3 had a different father and he wouldn't let them go with her to their Grandmother.
Oh, how I wished there was a way that I could carry the pain, for even one day, for that grieving child! All I could do was wrap her in my arms for a brief moment and tell her I'd pray that she'd be able to see her sister very soon.
Lee-Lee is heartbroken. The doll, a toy that she and he sister played with together, has become a way for Lee-Lee to carry her sister with her wherever she goes.
I again told Lee-Lee that I would pray that she would see her sister soon, and I reminded her that I will NEVER forget her.
She thinks that I won't forget her because she shares a nick name with my daughter. But the real reason I won't forget her is that she, her doll and her raw grief are unforgettable.
And I thank God that I kept my commitment. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have met Lee-Lee.
#2
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Thank you for sharing this. It touched my heart. I never liked the baby dolls when growing up like my sister did. Mom always liked the baby dolls, but I wanted the ones I could fix their hair etc. Before mom died in 2012 she went and bought herself a baby doll that looked real the Christmas before. I learned the reason mom liked them so much was because when she was growing up she never had one, and always wanted one. She also loved little kids, and lived to see her great grand daughters, even one at 12 years of age. Mom was a wonderful mom, and was always there for her children, grand children, and great grand children, helping to clothe and help with the 4 of her 6 great grand daughters. At the funeral the great grand daughters that she helped so much, and seen everyday cried out for her, that would bring everyone to tears. Their mom finally told them that whenever they felt the wind blow it was mamaw giving them a hug.
#7
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 5,896
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So the "father" would rather the other children be split up and placed in foster care, rather than go to their grandmother? Why are so-called "men" like that, allowed to become fathers? ![Mad](https://cdn.quiltingboard.com/images/smilies/mad.png)
I hope Lee-Lee finds enough happiness in her life, to help make up for some of this heartache.
![Mad](https://cdn.quiltingboard.com/images/smilies/mad.png)
I hope Lee-Lee finds enough happiness in her life, to help make up for some of this heartache.
#8
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 8,126
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You about summed it up. It also makes me want to reach out and shake the parents for putting their children such a painful position. But, as I said, I don't know the whole story.
This particular girl is with her grandmother; her siblings are in foster care. It hurts either way.
This particular girl is with her grandmother; her siblings are in foster care. It hurts either way.
#9
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
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As I said, I've only heard one side of the story. There could be a real - as opposed to just plain spiteful - reason the father doesn't want the other kids with their grandmother. My opinion, based on brief conversation with the Grandmother, is that Lee-Lee is with someone who loves her and who will be able to help her through this terrible time in her life.
But if it is just out of spite - well, one day he will meet his maker.
But if it is just out of spite - well, one day he will meet his maker.
#10
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 243
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I worked for several years for a foster care organization. Many people are unaware of the misery a lot of little children are living every day of their lives. I have noticed many on this board are aware and are doing things to make the little children's lives better. Such as making quilts, pillowcases, dolls, etc., l think there will be a special place in heaven for all of you.
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