Look out for mature ladies - they ROCK!
08-05-2009, 06:30 AM
#1
Power Poster
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Somerset, England
Posts: 10,686
A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding...
> Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
> Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.
>
> Older Woman: Oh, I see.
> Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?
>
> Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.
>
> Traffic Cop: Don't have one?
>
> Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.
>
> Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
>
> Older Woman: I can't do that..
>
> Traffic Cop: Why not?
>
> Older Woman: I stole this car.
>
> Traffic Cop: Stole it?
>
> Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
>
> Traffic Cop: You what!?
> Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
>
> The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
>
> Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
> The woman steps out of her vehicle.
>
> Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
>
> Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
>
> Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!
>
> Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
>
> The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
>
> Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
>
> Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
> The traffic cop is quite stunned.
>
> Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.
>
> The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
>
> The officer examines the license quizzically.
>
> Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!
>
> Older Woman: Bet the lying b&@#"§d told you I was speeding, too.
>
>
> Don't Mess With Mature Ladies!
:mrgreen:
> Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
> Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.
>
> Older Woman: Oh, I see.
> Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?
>
> Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.
>
> Traffic Cop: Don't have one?
>
> Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.
>
> Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
>
> Older Woman: I can't do that..
>
> Traffic Cop: Why not?
>
> Older Woman: I stole this car.
>
> Traffic Cop: Stole it?
>
> Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
>
> Traffic Cop: You what!?
> Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
>
> The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
>
> Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
> The woman steps out of her vehicle.
>
> Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
>
> Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
>
> Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!
>
> Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
>
> The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
>
> Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
>
> Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
> The traffic cop is quite stunned.
>
> Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.
>
> The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
>
> The officer examines the license quizzically.
>
> Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!
>
> Older Woman: Bet the lying b&@#"§d told you I was speeding, too.
>
>
> Don't Mess With Mature Ladies!
:mrgreen:
08-05-2009, 08:35 AM
#6
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 8,966
Originally Posted by k3n
Originally Posted by butterflywing
older woman was you, wasn't it? :mrgreen:
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