Marriage happiness and longevity... what's your advice?
12-25-2009, 08:37 PM
#61
Banned
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Bikini Bottom
Posts: 5,652
Laughter is always a good thing!
My wife and I are both a little off when it comes to humor. We find the same things funny and we are always joking around with each other and sometimes bring innocent people into it. Before you know it everyone around us is dying laughing about something.
Billy
My wife and I are both a little off when it comes to humor. We find the same things funny and we are always joking around with each other and sometimes bring innocent people into it. Before you know it everyone around us is dying laughing about something.
Billy
12-26-2009, 01:41 PM
#62
Super Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 6,764
After 47 years of marriage, I have come to the conclusion that all answers are correct -- it's getting them all together that is the clincher. What sawsan and omak said are phenomenal. I need to write that on a poster and post it somewhere. Even after 47 years. This is a great thread!
Yep: Marry one who love YOU.
Love is not a feeling. In other words, it's a commitment.
Yep: Marry one who love YOU.
Love is not a feeling. In other words, it's a commitment.
12-28-2009, 09:52 AM
#64
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Oakland, California
Posts: 246
My husband and I met several years after each of us had ended 20+ year marriages. I can't speak for him, but I knew who/what I was looking for: emotional intimacy, affection, and someone who put me first on his list of priorities. I knew within two months of knowing him that he was "the one" I'd been looking for.
Like so many others here, I strongly believe in the power of laughter and affection to cure all ills. Sometimes just a little touch of the hand is all that's needed to make that heart-to-heart connection strong again.
Be kind, don't forget basic courtesy, and acknowledge that you each have a right to your own opinions. Never, ever, take this person and their love for granted. Let them know *every day* with words and/or actions how much you appreciate having them in your life.
I really like what someone else said here: before making that clever retort in an argument or whatever, ask yourself, "Does saying this help US? Or does it just allow ME to feel better/smarter/more clever?" Thinking about this is THE major difference between how I behaved in my first marriage and how I act now. If I've learned anything over the years, it's that thinking about US is so much more important than worrying about ME.
Warning: none of this works or makes much sense if your partner isn't someone you respect and can trust with your heart. That's the basic foundation you have to start with; everything else builds on that.
Like so many others here, I strongly believe in the power of laughter and affection to cure all ills. Sometimes just a little touch of the hand is all that's needed to make that heart-to-heart connection strong again.
Be kind, don't forget basic courtesy, and acknowledge that you each have a right to your own opinions. Never, ever, take this person and their love for granted. Let them know *every day* with words and/or actions how much you appreciate having them in your life.
I really like what someone else said here: before making that clever retort in an argument or whatever, ask yourself, "Does saying this help US? Or does it just allow ME to feel better/smarter/more clever?" Thinking about this is THE major difference between how I behaved in my first marriage and how I act now. If I've learned anything over the years, it's that thinking about US is so much more important than worrying about ME.
Warning: none of this works or makes much sense if your partner isn't someone you respect and can trust with your heart. That's the basic foundation you have to start with; everything else builds on that.
12-28-2009, 09:54 AM
#65
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,496
Originally Posted by Quiltin'Lady
My husband and I met several years after each of us had ended 20+ year marriages. I can't speak for him, but I knew who/what I was looking for: emotional intimacy, affection, and someone who put me first on his list of priorities. I knew within two months of knowing him that he was "the one" I'd been looking for.
Like so many others here, I strongly believe in the power of laughter and affection to cure all ills. Sometimes just a little touch of the hand is all that's needed to make that heart-to-heart connection strong again.
Be kind, don't forget basic courtesy, and acknowledge that you each have a right to your own opinions. Never, ever, take this person and their love for granted. Let them know *every day* with words and/or actions how much you appreciate having them in your life.
I really like what someone else said here: before making that clever retort in an argument or whatever, ask yourself, "Does saying this help US? Or does it just allow ME to feel better/smarter/more clever?" Thinking about this is THE major difference between how I behaved in my first marriage and how I act now. If I've learned anything over the years, it's that thinking about US is so much more important than worrying about ME.
Warning: none of this works or makes much sense if your partner isn't someone you respect and can trust with your heart. That's the basic foundation you have to start with; everything else builds on that.
Like so many others here, I strongly believe in the power of laughter and affection to cure all ills. Sometimes just a little touch of the hand is all that's needed to make that heart-to-heart connection strong again.
Be kind, don't forget basic courtesy, and acknowledge that you each have a right to your own opinions. Never, ever, take this person and their love for granted. Let them know *every day* with words and/or actions how much you appreciate having them in your life.
I really like what someone else said here: before making that clever retort in an argument or whatever, ask yourself, "Does saying this help US? Or does it just allow ME to feel better/smarter/more clever?" Thinking about this is THE major difference between how I behaved in my first marriage and how I act now. If I've learned anything over the years, it's that thinking about US is so much more important than worrying about ME.
Warning: none of this works or makes much sense if your partner isn't someone you respect and can trust with your heart. That's the basic foundation you have to start with; everything else builds on that.
12-28-2009, 03:19 PM
#67
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Headed home
Posts: 2,372
Originally Posted by omak
And remember that there is NOTHING more important than the human being standing before you. Humans are the ultimate creation of a loving God and we owe them our best effort to be the person they thought we were and are.
12-28-2009, 03:23 PM
#68
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: phoenix,az
Posts: 73
Lots of good advice here. Like I told my daughter, No marriage of 50 years got there without some problems. It got there by overcoming them. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone needs to learn to forgive them. Just learn to get over it and look for your own fault in what they did. No one is usually wrong by themselves.
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