QuiltinPaws

I would simply not talk to her about YOUR fabric. If you have to have it in a public part of your house, then throw a sheet over what you have when she comes. If she insists on talking about making a quilt or your fabric, then I would OFFER to go to the store with her and help her pick out fabric that SHE can purchase for her own stash. When she starts on what you have do what Dear Abby always said to do. Look at her blankly and ask what she wants with your stash for since you had to buy all of your stuff and they are for specific projects. Then continually act DENSE when she talks about things you don't want to discuss. Don't worry about saying NO, just keep acting like you don't know what she is talking about and change the subject to something else - like the weather or the flowers/trees. Something she can't ask for. I have a "friend" who plans all my days, every day, where I will take her, where we are going to lunch,what stores we will visit, etc, etc. I just keep telling her that we will do that next week. For me next week just never comes. She gets a lot of people to do all she wants until they get so tired and quit answering their phone. I just keep being nice to her and telling her that I can't do something, don't have the extra cash or we will do it some other time.

pookie ookie

I had a maid who behaved the same way. Emphasis on *had* a maid. Thank goodness she wasn't family.

The woman owned a ranch and worked as a maid for a few clients. She certainly knew hard work. I could never understand why she had no respect for other people.

All the yammering on about "poor" and "rich folks not understanding" and "you don't need this" and "I bet you never use this" must be some kind of neurological condition.

I was starved and neglected as a child. I know suffering and it doesn't turn a person into a mooch. She also stole because she felt entitled to do so. That's neither here nor there. She would have been fired anyway.

For a family member, I would lock the door and say a firm "No." at every given opportunity. Congrats on moving to Florida!

plainpat

Looks like you've already had a lot of advice, so don't know why I'm butting in.
Personally, I'd lock the door to my sewing room & tell her you just can't afford to have other ppl taking stuff.Let her chew on that.Meet her at the door on your way to an appt or whatever.Thank heaven you'll be gone in a yr!

Jenniky

Wow.. alot of good boundary setting ideas here... the holidays are often made even more stressful because as we gather with our families and friends boundaries are continually tested in many areas. Be kind to yourself and dont give in. I know this is easier said then done in some situations and congrats on moving to Florida!

kateyb

Great idea.

borntoquilt

hey! It' Christmas !!! wrap up some of your ugliest fabric and give it to her for Christmas. Now, she has her OWN stash! No need to go thru yours anymore! tee hee!

butterflywing

if you're planning to move, why not pack your fabrics? out of sight, out of mind. leave out what you know you'll need. if she wants to know where it all went, tell her it's packed so you won't forget anything later. just hope she doesn't plan to visit you in florida with big empty suitcases.

Suziuki

I haven't read all the posts on this so I maybe repeating something. This women is not mentally challenged, she has been doing this a long time and has become very proficient at it, anything you say she will probably have a quick response to. If your DIL knows what she is like there is no need to keep the family peace, WHAT ABOUT YOUR PEACE. You DO NOT owe her any explainations. I avoid conflict and try to see the good in people, but in a similar situation I would have a face to face and say "I have no respect for you but have put up with you for the sake of your daughter, I will NOT tolerate you coming into MY home and going through MY possessions" (by this stage I would probably be shaking) but might also add "Is this clear", and take it from there. If she wants to argue the situation I would just keep repeating "I will NOT toleratre you coming into MY home and going through MY possessions". You NO NOT have to justify your feelings to her, no explanations, this just gives her a chance to find something to make you feel quilty about.
I do feel you need to do something, otherwise you will stress over it and possibly snap at someone who doesn't deserve it.
Hope you find a solution to this problem. Will be interested to hear what worked, if anything.

QuiltingHiker

You are a nicer person then I.. I like to share but do not like my stuff touch. I share what I want to share period!!

carhop

just move to Florida sooner we seminatives will welcome you and not ask for freebees.