Mimito2

Right after I bought the "closing" of my brothers fabric store ( with Unemployment money) I was out to lunch with a girlfriend from where I had worked. I was talking about being busy looking for job and sorting the fabric. She remarked very fast with a big smile. "You are going to share about half of that material with your Best friend?" I smiled back just as big and said, "NO! that is not going to work for me." and changed the subject. Guess who got stuck with the bill? Seems she had accidently left her wallet on her desk but she did have a couple dollars for tip.... Glad we had sandwiches at a diner....Haven't been to lunch with her since..

I to have family that does not hear NO.. Actually saying "NO, That does not work for me." and then sometimes adding "_______ would work better" shows that you are flexable but no is no. If is really outrageous I giggle hysterically and then tell them sarcastically "yeah, right! UH HUH! NOT HAPPENING." all with a smile.

aneternalpoet

I am so sorry you had to deal with that.. Maybe , if she still thinks she wants to sew, set apart ONLY the fabric you do not want, or will not use.. that is what she can choose from, nothing else? I just can't understand that type of mentality, no matter where , or how someone is raised.. I grew up in a family, where dad was in the military, a brother, one year older than I , as a kid, was dying of brain cancer for the 6 years between 6 and 12 years old. Craig was in the hospital pretty near the whole time.. no money for extras, sometimes no money for food, or clothing for us for new school year. HOWEVER, you can bet my mom never griped, or fussed about being poor. We didn't have much, thats a given, but we had love enough to deal with the situation with my brother, and we did it well until he passed away the day after Christmas.. Does that make me ungrateful or selfish that I didn't have a gift that year? no, made me thankful I did, the next year, and the next.. That is why I try to PIF to those in need, or when I have need of a smile myself.. and you gals, and guys bless me with your smiles, and loving hearts, thank you..

IrishNY

I would go through my stash and pull out some fabric that I don't care for anymore. I would send it home with her to use. The rest is yours and not common property. No more explanation is necessary.

Karyn

My hubbys family always said: Y'all have it made!!
Maybe because we both worked, did without a lot of things to have a nice home and pay for it. I cooked many meals at home while they were eating out. They didn't know when we had money problems because we didn't tell everybody and whine and moan like they did.
I have shared with them but seems like every time I did, they took advantage. No more, and if that makes me a bad person, so be it, but I'm nobodys fool.
You have to stand up for yourself. You bought your stash, you should be the one to use it. Enjoy!!!

sewTinker

Maybe you can tell her that you will make her a going away box and will give it to her when you move. If she requests specific fabrics just smile and say, "oh the box will be Full of surprises!" You can give her fabrics you no longer want, and scraps, and a scrappy pattern (printed from the internet), and tie is all up with a big bow. This will set a good example, help your DIL save face, and make her proud of you too! Everyone will win. :-)

leonajo

I think the ideas about going thru ur stash, bagging up stuff u really don't care for is a good idea. Keep it handy in case she asks for ur fabric agin, u can retrieve it and say u picked it out just for her. Ur real stash is already assigned to future projects. She will probalaly never get anything started anyway... moochers usually like things done for them and piecing takes time and effort. No way would she actually quilt something lol. This would mean alot to ur DIL too. If this does not work, SHOVE the woman out of ur sewing room!!!!!

mcar

Introduce her to JoAnne's sale coupons so she can live like the rest of us and invest in her hobby. And don't let her in your sewing room!

quilt3311

I would have an area where I left scrap or pieces where I really wondered what I was thinking when I bought that piece. Somehow I always have these.
The stuff I didn't want her into I would put in my closet or somewhere that it wasn't available to a snoop.
bless you for putting up with this for harmony's sake.

applique

Good idea, and I bet the woman is a LOT richer than you. She doesn't spend HER money she uses everyone else's money!

Aurora

You say your DIL knows how she is and apologizes for her.

I would lock the door to my stash. Publish a price list and give it to her . CASH ONLY!

Sorry, this woman would not be in my home under any circumstances.

I do not and will not tolerate rude people in my home. I worked very hard for everything I have because I do live nice things I have made numerous sacrifice to get the things I have. I support several charities, but greedy selfish relatives are not among them. If I see a true need, I offer assistance. Otherwise, it is my money, I worked for it, and I will use it as I please.

I found that being poor is like a lot of other things in life. It is a relative term and not only refers to money -- in this case it applies to manners.

Talk to you DIL, she may be wondering why you put up with this behavior.