Mickie612

My husband and I just had our 51st not really any advice, We just decided whoever left got the kids, 3 girls, then when the grew up, whoever left got the mothers, there were 3 of them, now there simply is not enough money to divide. Really I never found anyone who came close to him. He is totally awesome, not perfect just awesome.

Sally 1612

Clem 55 wrote:
It will be 56 years for us in Feb. Was it hard? You bet!! We separated for 9 months at one point early in the marriage, a case of being too young and scared. Hubby was feeling sort of like he had lost his freedom ( worked with a bunch of single guys). I was pregnant with second child and 18 years old! The time apart was hard, but it was also good for us. We had many many battles through the years, but I was determined my kids would have a two parent home. My Mom gave me the best advice. She told me to " take care of my family, and learn to live on my husbands' income. If you need to work to put food on the table, then do so". ( at the time I really wanted an outside job so we could buy nice things like my sisters had). Her feeling was when both partners are working, then you just spend more on "things" so you have to keep working and then family time suffers." I saw that happening with my sisters , so I did the old fashion thing and didn't work. Don and I still have arguments, but, we have always worked with each other on the important things
and we raised 4 very good, responsible kids( who by the way have all been divorced!!). I know young families today have a hard time with the economy, and women have to have jobs to survive, many can't stay home, and I feel so sorry for them. But, others do it so they can have big homes that they can't afford, nice vacations, big cars, etc., and those really are very unimportant in the end. What is important is having someone who loves you, cares about your feelings, and who stands by your side when things get rough. It is much to easy to get a divorce now, no stigma attached like it use to be, so many just throw in the towel at the first disagreement. Heck, many marry thinking they will divorce if they arenT happy. And I think now so many put their own happiness ahead of everyone else, and as parents, most of that is our fault. I'm not old fashioned, honestly, but I believe that we need to bring back those old time morals and values that I was raised with, at least some of them. Too many children are suffering because of divorce. And they do suffer!! I"ve seen it with my grandchildren, and it just isn't fair!! For you young ladies, get out if you are in abusive relationships, but try real hard not to sweat the little things, and work real hard at keeping your family together, especially if you have children. My husband and I are really glad we stuck together, and we are still very much in love after 55 years.
This is sound advice.....married 50 years and counting. :)

eimay

Be friends first, lovers second. Friendship is lasting and valuable; skyrockets are shortlived.

sewnsewer2

Trust, respect and kindness and what has worked best for me is SEPARATE BANK ACCOUNTS!! We never fight over money!!

Nona

Sunday will be our 48th anniversay. Respect each other and remember marriage is a 90/10 situation. Sometimes its your 90 other times it is your 10. Say "I love you" every day to your spouse and your children. It may be your last opportunity. At least every 6 months take a weekend for yourselves. Keep romance in your life. Say you're sorry and mean it when its your fault.

cizzors

Pick your battles!

flikkem

(1) Always try to improve yourself. If one of the spouses has more education, the other spouse may try to take courses to catch up so you don't outgrow each other intellectually. (2) Make it a point to do some fun things together, even if it means trying something new for both of you. (3) Grow as an individual and develop essential skills so you can care for yourself if you lose your partner or if he becomes ill. (4) Laugh a lot.

Amythyst02

Really good advice sprinkled thoughout. I cannot add much but I honestly think "trust" is one of the most important things. For both my hubby and myself this is our 3rd marriage. We both previously divorced due to cheating spouses. So trust was a huge issue for us. But we have been married now over 28yrs. Love him, no matter what his faults are, because you have some too. Start each day with a kiss and I love you, end each day the same way. Hold hands!! Be there when he is down, and hopefully he will be there for you when you are down. Communicate. Sadly things have changed so much in the last 30 years, that it does make it hard. I think divorce is too easy, and people go into marriages thinking if its too hard, or things get rough, I can just get a divorce. I always tell hubby if he thinks he gets anything when he leaves he crazy. He can have the clothes he came into this marriage with and that is all!
Of course those clothes are long gone now, so I guess he will have to leave in his birthday suit. :-D

Love like there are no tomorrows.

grannypat7925

Marriage has to be worked at. Communication is very important. Keep the peace......never go to bed 'mad'. If you have a difference of opinion, work out something that is acceptable to both of you. Don't try to change your spouse. If that is your intention you have failed already. They don't change unless it is their idea! Keep God #1 in your life!

Chasing Hawk

exactly!!