The Outhouse Poem....funny!!!
04-19-2011, 07:43 PM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Crystal River Florida
Posts: 9,785
THE OUTHOUSE POEM *
(*note: If you don't know what a Outhouse is - ask someone a little older)
The service station trade was slow
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.
No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.
"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.
With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.
With startled look and beet red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car
Just like three gals before.
She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
The owner gave a shout,
As her silk stockings, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.
She tripped and fell - got up, and then
In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.
Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.
A speaking system he'd devised
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.
He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tike,
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.
And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here!"
(*note: If you don't know what a Outhouse is - ask someone a little older)
The service station trade was slow
The owner sat around,
With sharpened knife and cedar stick
Piled shavings on the ground.
No modern facilities had they,
The log across the rill
Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
That sat against the hill.
"Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
The owner leaning back,
Said not a word but whittled on,
And nodded toward the shack.
With quickened step she entered there
But only stayed a minute,
Until she screamed, just like a snake
Or spider might be in it.
With startled look and beet red face
She bounded through the door,
And headed quickly for the car
Just like three gals before.
She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
The owner gave a shout,
As her silk stockings, down at her knees
Caught on a sassafras sprout.
She tripped and fell - got up, and then
In obvious disgust,
Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
And faded in the dust.
Of course we all desired to know
What made the gals all do
The things they did, and then we found
The whittling owner knew.
A speaking system he'd devised
To make the thing complete,
He tied a speaker on the wall
Beneath the toilet seat.
He'd wait until the gals got set
And then the devilish tike,
Would stop his whittling long enough,
To speak into the mike.
And as she sat, a voice below
Struck terror, fright and fear,
"Will you please use the other hole,
We're painting under here!"
04-19-2011, 08:48 PM
#5
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Middle Tennessee
Posts: 1,746
Oh Ditter, several years ago I was invited to spend Thanksgiving with friends of my roommate at a home near Harper's Ferry WV. The house of course dated back about 100 to 125 years old and was being restored. They only had electricity in 2 or 3 rooms and of course, the outhouse was all there was. These people were transplants from Texas and were wonderful.. This was in the late 60's and the outhouse had been painted by some free spirits of the time with flowers, butterflies and other signs of the tera....this was fun enough; but as a first time visitor I was directed to the facility down the primrose path. Electricity had been run down to same so a light came on when you walked in. However, when the door closed and you were in the normal position...music began playing. Guess what it played???? "The Eyes of Texas are Upon you". Yep that was it and of course, when you walked out being your first visit...everyone was on the front porch to get your reaction.
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