Pet Peeves
05-24-2010, 11:44 PM
#51
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Fort Huachuca, AZ
Posts: 345
Originally Posted by PatriceJ
i have many pet peeves. the one that drives me highest up the wall?
pet peeves. :hunf:
from the very begining, we have more than merely a quilting board. we are a community of people who have come together because of our common love of quilting.
thankfully, most of us are guided by common sense and an understanding of tolerance, decency, and universally accepted standards of behavior. but we come from all around the world; from all walks of life. we range from filthy rich to dirt poor. from degreed scholars to barely educated. we have religious fanatics, fanatically anti-religious, and everything in between. politically, we range from the lunatic left to the radical right. some are delicate flowers who are horrified by any word as strong as "heck"; allergic to everything; afraid of everything. others are laid back; rebellious; devil-may-care. some members are private by nature. others feel compelled to share every gruesome, depressing detail of every disease and disaster they have either experienced or heard about. some are here to focus primarily on quilting. others are here primarily for the social experience. we may very well be all but the only contact some members have with the outside world.
a certain tone has begun to spread through the board lately that i find very disturbing. it's a fungus among us. in less than a week, i've seen an alarming number of topics started by members judging each other on manners, intelligence, deportment, etc. for cryin' out loud ... there's a topic were people are judging each other on the way they judge each other! :shock:
do i have pet peeves? you bet. do i sometimes open a post and want to scream in frustration? yes. in fact, i sometimes make impolite comments as i read. for the most part, though, i keep it to myself!
i am getting pms from people who see themselves in your complaints. they are embarrassed. some have even asked me to delete their posts because they think they've committed some horrible social crime.
how many wonderful human beings will leave the board because they now believe they are not welcome here? how many potential members will be turned off and turn away because of topics like this?
if you have a pet peeve you have some choices:
1. speak to a Senior Moderator, providing specifics and links to allegedly offending posts. if they constitute genuine violations of board policy or a drastic departure from commonly accepted standards of behavior we will deal with them.
2. make all the nasty, judgemental comments you like - to your monitor. but step away from the keyboard.
3. complain privately amongst yourselves with likeminded members by pm, email, phone or over coffee. just keep it out of the public forum.
4. dial 1-800-GETOVERYOURSELF
pet peeves. :hunf:
from the very begining, we have more than merely a quilting board. we are a community of people who have come together because of our common love of quilting.
thankfully, most of us are guided by common sense and an understanding of tolerance, decency, and universally accepted standards of behavior. but we come from all around the world; from all walks of life. we range from filthy rich to dirt poor. from degreed scholars to barely educated. we have religious fanatics, fanatically anti-religious, and everything in between. politically, we range from the lunatic left to the radical right. some are delicate flowers who are horrified by any word as strong as "heck"; allergic to everything; afraid of everything. others are laid back; rebellious; devil-may-care. some members are private by nature. others feel compelled to share every gruesome, depressing detail of every disease and disaster they have either experienced or heard about. some are here to focus primarily on quilting. others are here primarily for the social experience. we may very well be all but the only contact some members have with the outside world.
a certain tone has begun to spread through the board lately that i find very disturbing. it's a fungus among us. in less than a week, i've seen an alarming number of topics started by members judging each other on manners, intelligence, deportment, etc. for cryin' out loud ... there's a topic were people are judging each other on the way they judge each other! :shock:
do i have pet peeves? you bet. do i sometimes open a post and want to scream in frustration? yes. in fact, i sometimes make impolite comments as i read. for the most part, though, i keep it to myself!
i am getting pms from people who see themselves in your complaints. they are embarrassed. some have even asked me to delete their posts because they think they've committed some horrible social crime.
how many wonderful human beings will leave the board because they now believe they are not welcome here? how many potential members will be turned off and turn away because of topics like this?
if you have a pet peeve you have some choices:
1. speak to a Senior Moderator, providing specifics and links to allegedly offending posts. if they constitute genuine violations of board policy or a drastic departure from commonly accepted standards of behavior we will deal with them.
2. make all the nasty, judgemental comments you like - to your monitor. but step away from the keyboard.
3. complain privately amongst yourselves with likeminded members by pm, email, phone or over coffee. just keep it out of the public forum.
4. dial 1-800-GETOVERYOURSELF
05-25-2010, 03:48 AM
#53
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,933
Thank you, Patrice. Perhaps this comment should be posted as it's own thread in order to get the attention of more members. I totally agree that thinking more and typing less would prevent hurt feelings, which is probably the worst part. We all need all the love and support we can get these days.
05-25-2010, 09:19 AM
#57
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Southeast Georgia, USA
Posts: 9,117
beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
so is malice.
"constructive" is a subjective term and therefore an unreliable yardstick.
look. i'm not suggesting that any human being is capable of never having one or more pet peeves about anything. i have the biggest collection of peeves in the developed world. i am sometimes as catty and judgemental as the worst among us.
i speak not down to you from a high horse, but upward from the low road. i was not fussing only at others. i was rapping my own knuckles at the same time.
i do not want anybody to start feeling overly guilty or ask anybody to apologize for being human and for making a mistake. i am not demanding that we all suddenly turn pollyanna, either. be yourselves. be true to yourselves. just be careful about which part of yourself you put out there for all of us to see. if you catch my drift. ;-)
i stand by everything i said. there is a time and place for everything. topics like this accomplish nothing. they do not reflect well on us.
so is malice.
"constructive" is a subjective term and therefore an unreliable yardstick.
look. i'm not suggesting that any human being is capable of never having one or more pet peeves about anything. i have the biggest collection of peeves in the developed world. i am sometimes as catty and judgemental as the worst among us.
i speak not down to you from a high horse, but upward from the low road. i was not fussing only at others. i was rapping my own knuckles at the same time.
i do not want anybody to start feeling overly guilty or ask anybody to apologize for being human and for making a mistake. i am not demanding that we all suddenly turn pollyanna, either. be yourselves. be true to yourselves. just be careful about which part of yourself you put out there for all of us to see. if you catch my drift. ;-)
i stand by everything i said. there is a time and place for everything. topics like this accomplish nothing. they do not reflect well on us.
05-25-2010, 06:22 PM
#58
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 2,313
Originally Posted by Candace
Patrice, you are one hilarious chick and you sure summed it up nicely.
Pet peeves are really just a section in a high school yearbook. It's funny to read and think things like - oh, yeah, I never thought of that, it bugs me too - or - what? that bugs you?
I don't see them as a criticism of others, but a personal curse that I've put out on display. I don't expect others to change as a result, nor do I feel compelled to change if I trigger someone else's peeve.
Belonging to a forum where all communication is in print form brings an entirely new set of learning to be done. Personally, I'm glad to have found such a tolerant place for me to be doing that learning in.
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