A pets diary
04-05-2010, 07:20 PM
#1
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 9,312
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary.......
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
------------------------------------------------------------
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary....
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards..
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
------------------------------------------------------------
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary....
Day 983 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards..
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................
04-05-2010, 08:56 PM
#6
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 9,312
I laughed till it hurt also.
Kola does the mouse thing quite often..lol
Which reminds me..We have a place set up on the front porch for her. It's a high shelf with her "cathouse", food and water dishes. With that said we have what we assume maybe several of her buddies coming by during the night to have a late supper. Because the food dish is always empty. Well one evening we heard a loud thump at the front door. So I went to go see what is was, and right there on the shelf was a dead body, the large male cat brought it to us. He thought we didn't have anything to eat cause the food bowl was empty.
Kola does the mouse thing quite often..lol
Which reminds me..We have a place set up on the front porch for her. It's a high shelf with her "cathouse", food and water dishes. With that said we have what we assume maybe several of her buddies coming by during the night to have a late supper. Because the food dish is always empty. Well one evening we heard a loud thump at the front door. So I went to go see what is was, and right there on the shelf was a dead body, the large male cat brought it to us. He thought we didn't have anything to eat cause the food bowl was empty.
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