FunkyMonkey

I didn't take offense to you post Marsye.. I think I understand what you mean. Some people really need help with their depression and then you have some drs. that just seem to prescribe for people that might just be having a bad day or even week. I think today that some dr.s are just prescription happy.
I take depression meds. I have a arthritis and have had for 27 years, I got it when I was fifteen. I have alot of other conditions that seem to go with it. I won't list all of them.. but one day I just started crying and called the nurse at the dr office and said I couldn't handle it anymore.. I am normally a really perky person. But when I threw a hot skillet toward my son with an egg on it cooking and the hot burner off the stove, I knew I needed help. I have been taking "help" meds for about 10 years and I am thankful for them. It was hard for me to accept that I had to take something, but between the pain I have every day and my other problems from the disease.. I just needed help. I take cymbalta. If you truly need help then get it. For those that don't need anything.. I am slightly jealous.. but we all go on!

Mousie

We have much in common Barb, but don't we find that often here? lol! so sorry about your brother. I've not lost a family member, but acquaintances.

I hope that comments I have made about doctors etc. is not misunderstood.
There are a lot of good doctors out there, but you have to find the right fit for you personally.
As a person that has had health and mental health issues for 25 years, i feel that I have been down roads, and experienced things that give me a right to say to those that don't understand it all, yes, your right, there are THOSE, that minority (?not sure about statistics), that push medications too freely.
I have experienced it personally, and if I had not been an intelligent, cautious and informed about my own stuff, I could have fallen victim of the wrong medication.
There have been times that doctors have made mistakes.
It is an inexact science and sometimes your doctors diagnosis is only as good as the information you give him.
I worked in the medical profession myself, so i have seen both sides of the thing.
It is not EASY to be a doctor or a patient, unless of course, you are blessed with optimal health.
One of the things being said here is: even if you never needed medications for depression in the past, don't set your mind that you will never ever need anything.
My own husband was SURE he would never need any of that stuff, and he "accepted somewhat", that I did, but he also resented the cost and many times an argument, in his mind was bc I did take something.
That is not only fair, it's mean.
Everybody shows the butt sometimes, and if you take meds and your spouse always blames you, or visa versa, somebody is not checking themselves to see that it takes two to tango.
Medication is not a cure all. Like someone else said about hers...it just takes the black and lightens it enough to cope.
Some get more than that, on my current medications.
I was not always that blessed.
I was misdiagnosed for many years and believed that I had to take what I was on and would for life.
I was shut completely down artistically and always a level of depression existed.
the medication wasn't depressing me, the lack of the right one, was.
Long story how I finally climbed out of that hole, but know this:
Even if you are on medications, you owe it to yourself to become more educated.
You wouldn't go to a church, temple, synagogue, what ever, and just listen and ingest every word without finding the truth for yourself would you? (thats what happens to those that fall into cults. not a religious discussion, using this for an example.)
So, don't follow your doctor blindly. Even if he is very good and you trust him.
The mistake that was made with me, I was with an excellent doctor, very kind and compassionate and a real fighter for the patient.
Once i was at the facility he worked at to see a counselor and he had received blood work back on me, and came and sat by me in the waiting room to discuss it. No appointment, no charge, just compassion that I needed my dosage changed to feel better.
But, he was trying me on something that I agreed to and a month later i left bc i thought my husband was going to be laid off and i would not be able to afford him. So I was just as responsible, initially, for the mistake to be ongoing.
However, having said that, i feel that the future doctors I had, should have made sure i was doing well on that medication and that it was the correct diagnosis.
It wasn't.
They thought I was a high functioning manic depressive, when in reality, I had severe general anxiety disorder.
"oh, she's not completely manic bc she's not that bad."
Even the doctors couldn't see the zooming freeway in my head, and the compulsive habits I had to relieve anxiety that I worked to hide.
I was a doctor/ppl pleaser. I wanted to make good grades.
I thought I had to tell them what they wanted to hear to be a "good patient". I believed what I said, i didn't lie.
But there came a time I became strong enough to start questioning instead of just "behaving and pleasing".
There aren't many that are going to deliberately try to trick you or mess up on purpose. They call those shysters.
But they are human beings and fallible.
So, educate yourself and be open with your doctor. Don't brush everything off as a passing thing if it's not passing.
am i helping this cause? I think honesty always help.
I don't want to see anyone medicated that is not going to be helped, even if they need medication.
Let's get it right. It can change your life. not promising it will, and don't expect it to "fix your marriage" or make your teenagers behave etc.
We still have life stuff to deal with, meds or not, but at least you'll feel more like taking it on in a calmer fashion.
If treated for adhd, like I have, you may, with time and some training, be able to find your keys, remember your appointment and cook dinner without burning it.
It won't make you like donuts but others munching down might not be so annoying either.
(noises was one of my irritants before!:shock:)
I know the mouse is verbose, but it's only bc she cares so much for those that are hurting. hugs to all :-D
(not sympathy, - empathy :-D )

Lisa_wanna_b_quilter

This has been a great thread. Everyone has learned about the different mainfestaions of depression. I think these kinds of dicussions are great.

I've also learned that Barb doesn't like coffee and donuts either! That makes me feel much better. It can be tough being a coffee outcast.

Mousie

LOL!:lol:

Mousie

dang! I had some of those years ago, and was afraid to mention them for fear of dating the mouse.
funk and wagnalls...lol, what's that? ;)

marsye

2wheelwoman

I think that quiltncrazy, the little mousie, made many excellent points, but the one that I'd like to reiterate is the admonishment to be honest with your doctor about how you're doing. I was just like her - a doctor/people pleaser. I wanted them to think that they were doing a good job (I know, sounds stupid, but it's true) so I'd report good symptoms. I was a model patient. EXCEPT, I wasn't doing so good. I ended up lucky. I had a therapist who saw right through the act, and made me promise to be honest with the psych doctor. Dirty trick-she used my own sense of obedience to authority agaist me! :-) :-) Once I came clean, I got a change of meds and have done better since then. But, we've got to be honest, even about stuff that's hard to talk about, like OCD behaviors, so they can help us.

Barbm

exactly 2wheelwoman- you have to be honest with yourself- my brother used to tell us all he was OK. I would push and ask more questions until he would give in and really talk to me.

I am still very angry with him for what he did to his family, we are just making amends now for all the problems that happened after his death. But life goes on- I am still very sensitive to references to suicide and still belong to my online support group. I don't feel comfortable talking to someone about my deepest innermost feelings so I find I can listen to what others are experiencing and let them know the pain subsides and eventually life goes on. It's becomes a different "normal" but life goes on.

So I get on my soapbox every now and then- to support the meds and therapy and help people dig out their rose colored glasses and see the glass half full and it's time to fill it up.

So I'll get off that soapbox now, dry my eyes (because 5 years later I still bawl my eyes out over his suicide) and get back to packing for my trip.

Honey

Barnbm, I am so sorry for your loss. It doesn't matter if it was 5 years or 5 days ago, the pain is still there and so are the unanswered questions. I pray that the day comes soon when you can think of your brother and smile. A younger cousin, who was the best friend of my son-in-law, commited suicide 3 weeks ago. No one knows why. He left no note, didn't say anything to anyone. His live in girlfriend didn't have a clue. My SIL is very angry that he chose to do this and then feels guilty because he is angry. I have told my kids over and over that it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem but I know from experience that when one is experiencing depression you don't feel that you have a future that is worth living and you just want the pain to stop. Those of us who have gotten help know that taking that first step can be the hardest thing of all. It's never easy admitting you have a problem but whenever those thoughts would come I would look at the pictures of my DGS's and know that I could not inflict that kind of pain on them and eventually, with counseling and meds, it got better.

canmitch1971

Honey you are so right. When I was really depressed I felt like everything was my fault. I can remember sitting at the dinner table with my kids and crying and thinking that they would be better off without me. It was hell.