noveltyjunkie

Interesting reading. Early on in my relationship with my DH it bothered me that he was really bad at choosing gifts for me.

I would still be thrilled if he would one day surprise me with something I would love, but I am no longer expecting that to happen. And I have made peace with it.

But it does bother me when he says that the best gift he could get would be to be excused from buying me anything. I can't help hearing that as him not caring, even though I know he loves me very much and he shows this is very practical ways. He just hates shopping.

We share all our money anyhow so if he is not happy to pick it and I am paying for it in any case, why make him conduct the transaction!

janRN

I always felt "cheated" when my DH sent his secretary out to get my gift. Ha ha on him--he doesn't have a secretary now!! He'll have to go get something himself (prob on Christmas Eve at 9pm) since he's self-employed now. Or maybe I'll get a gift certificate from Amazon since I bought myself a Kindle for my birthday.

auntiehenno

Two years ago I asked my daughter if she would buy some fabric on line for me, as I don't use credit cards. I was living with her at the time and taking care of my toddler dgs, and told her I would get the cash for it from my purse. She said no, you don't need anymore fabric.

She was to remarry the following June 2009, and it was sailing fabric, that I wanted to make a wedding quilt for her an Josh. As they love to sail.

Guess what, they never got a wedding gift.

Don't ever tell me I don't need anymore fabric!!!!!

starshine

Perhaps you could lovingly tell him that you could give him his gift of his not having to buy you anything, and explain how you love to get a surprise and that gifts don't have to be bought. That it is the surprise that delights you. And if he needs further explanation ---He can make something for you if he has a hobby or interest, or he could arrange to have someone else make it. He could make you a set of coupons for things such as giving you a back rub or foot massage, going to a movie (if you like going to them) of your choice, picnic where he prepares the food or orders it and picks it up, day trip to someplace you'd like to go. Or a set of once a month coupons that you pick a place or activity. If he thinks about what you like he should be able to come up with some assortment of things that would be fun for you. He could write you a letter about things he appreciates about you, then you can go to it to read anytime.
If he isn't too creative he may need some ideas to start with. And sometimes guys just need things like being surprised explained to them. Hope you have some luck with this.