bearisgray

Most of us are familiar with "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you" -

Sometimes we need to think of the platinum rule - especially when it comes to gift giving - "Do unto others as they would like to be done unto"

For example - My DH gave me an electric coffeepot (about 1962) - and it was a nice coffeepot - EXCEPT I don't drink coffee and don't like the smell of coffee brewing. I suppose the thinking was that it would make it easier for me to make coffee for HIM - that was back in the days when I still did things like that.

Another example: A silver-plate (not top of the line, either) meat serving tray - definitely not my style - and none of my kids want it either. We use Corelle for dishes.

There are times I would much rather have an inexpensive token or note that shows that the person was paying attention to what I like and do - than a more expensive item that totally ignored my likes and dislikes.

The best rifle in the world - no, thank you -
All of my (older) sewing machines serviced - yes, please.

Another example: I would love to get gift certificates for JoAnn's. My family says "Oh, you don't need any more sewing stuff." I really don't, but what does that have to do with anything?

missgigglewings

I totally agree! My DD thinks gift cards are too impersonal, so last year she gave me 6 yards of a pretty purple fabric. Guess whose favorite color is purple! (Hint: not mine)

clem55

OMG! That sounds so like me!! I use to get nice surprises from hubby for Xmas, he loved buying me pretty clothes and nice jewelry. That was before I got too fat for the really sharp outfits he liked, and before I had more jewelry than I can ( or do) wear. Now he wants me to make a list of what I want, show pictures, tell him where to get it, etc. and he will go buy . The kids do me the same. I KNOW they are trying to please me, but I would much rather have a surprise to open. I guess it is the kid in me, but I like to be surprised once a year. Forty years ago all I really wanted was a new sewing machine that did something more than my FW. I hinted and hinted for that, for many years,told my daughter what kind I would really like to have( so she could tell him if he asked her), and I never did get that as a surprise . For him, it wasn't "fun" to shop for something like that, it would sound so dull when he told the "guys at work" what he was getting me. I finally used my own money and bought myself one! And now I've done the same again. When I was a kid, my sister had a Singer toy sewing machine, and of course I got to play with it as I grew up. Two years ago I saw a replica of that toy at Hancocks, told hubby I really would love to have one ( "WHY?"). Explained my reason for wanting it( sister didn't sew, but wouldn't let me have it). I thought for sure he would buy it, but no, he didn't see the point. Instead I got a diamond pendant and gold earrings that I didn't even want. Yeah, I know, I shouldn't complain about that kind of gift, but for what he spent, I could have had a toy machine and the real thing. I sometimes wonder if they ever really listen to what we say. I'd just like a surprise gift!! I never get surprises anymore. Sure sound like a spoiled kid, but I like to surprise all of them. Of course, they usually take what I buy and return it for something they want, but at least I get the fun of surprising them with something unexpected. Not even doing that this year, so I am in a real bummer mood. WhewA!! Lots of venting there!! Sorry.

littlehud

This is good advice. One of my favorite Christmas gifts was a copy of "The Breakfast Club". My favorite movie and DD got it for me. That showed she was really thinking of me and what I like.

Mellina

I know what you are dealing with. My dh is the same way. He always tells me to go get it, wrap it and stick it under the tree. Bummer. If I don't do it, I won't have anything to open Christmas morning. Double Bummer.

janRN

I hate for anyone to buy me clothes-I don't even like to buy me clothes. I either wear jeans (at home, etc) or a uniform (at work). One year my DH (or AH at that time) bought me a three piece suit. What??? That was exchanged in a hurry.

My mom is 89 years old-=-doesn't need another Knickknack, robe, purse, gloves, anything. Today I went to to the grocery store and bought her all the ingredients she'll need to bake: flour, sugar, sprinkles, nuts, etc. I told her this is her Christmas gift this year (since DH has been out of work for 2 yrs now and I only work a couple of days a week). Know what? She was thrilled!!!

Gift giving takes thought-nots lots of money. We need to listen to people and they need to listen to us. If I get one more robe this Christmas I'm going to hang myself with the belt LOL!!!

carhop

my DH always got me things that i didn't expect one year he gave me a peddle car (Sky King) love it he always listened to what i said, on valentines day there was always a big fancy heart i have them all around my sewing room i look at them and know i was loved by him but i did the same for him i gave him a ring (silver& onx) an id bracelet that he wore every time we went any where.

TN Donna

I know exactly what you are saying.

virtualbernie

All I can say is...YUP!!!!!!!!!!!

jbud2

A couple weeks ago, my husband said he doesn't think WE have to exchange gifts this year - we can always just go get what we want. Well, he should have told me this months ago - I wouldn't have gotten him anything! He had the nerve to tell me if I see a 3-level cat hutch I should get MYSELF one for Christmas! I said that is the cat's gift -not mine! I work real hard making sure both our kids and spouses get something they want for Christmas and some surprises. It's too easy to get gifts for the 3 year old granddaughter - I have to tell myself to stop! We have a big family seafood dinner for all (about 25 people) the week before Christmas. Oysters to pat, crabcakes to make, cookies to bake, roast beef to roast. Trees to put up, cleaning to be done. And then dinner on Christmas day. Can't my husband come up with one thing he can find for me? I guess I am venting too.