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Originally Posted by Ditter43
Bad day at Hallmark
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........ //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ Looking back over the years That we've been together, I can't help but wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ I've always wanted to have Someone to hold, Someone to love. After having met you .. I've changed my mind. -------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------- I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. ################################################## ## Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. ************************************************** ****************************** Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia ) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ Happy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ When we were together, You always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// We have been friends for a very long time .. let's say we stop? ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++ I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here. ================================================== === Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Your friends and I wanted to do Something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep. )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) So your daughter's a hooker, And it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay |
Ditter, They pay less funnier people then you at a lounge I go to in the summer, it is called Monday Funday and it is at a Casino on the reservation. You would be great on stage.
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Originally Posted by Ditter43
Bad day at Hallmark
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........ //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat When I looked at the tire... I noticed your cat. Sorry! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ Looking back over the years That we've been together, I can't help but wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your husband. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ How could two people as beautiful as you Have such an ugly baby? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ I've always wanted to have Someone to hold, Someone to love. After having met you .. I've changed my mind. -------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------- I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... That you're not here to ruin it for me. ################################################## ## Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again. ************************************************** ****************************** Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia ) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ Happy birthday! You look great for your age. Almost Lifelike! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~ When we were together, You always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise. ////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// We have been friends for a very long time .. let's say we stop? ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++ I'm so miserable without you it's almost like you're here. ================================================== === Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. Did you ever find out who the father was? %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Your friends and I wanted to do Something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep. )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) So your daughter's a hooker, And it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay |
I worked at Hallmark for 11 years. One year, for our summer promotion weekend, I dressed up as Maxine, and I got to walk around, mimicking Maxine. I enjoyed it sooooo much. Maxine is a hoot. A lot of the sayings above could have been said by Maxine. My favorite---"A good picture of you naked would cure a bad case of hiccups!" Oh, the reactions I got saying that one...........
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I have known a few people I could have sent some of those to. :lol:
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And you look like such a sweet person!
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Your Awsome Ditters thanks for the laugh !!!
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Ah, why can't we buy those anywhere?
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Ditter, you always brighten my day. Where do you come up with these things??? Thanks for the smile.
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Originally Posted by LindaJ
You should have your own card line. Funny!
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