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As a working mom of 2, I do as many favors for people as possible so when I am in a pinch, I don't feel badly asking for help. It is a 2 way street. I need help sometime and I think a true friend will help out when I need it just as I do.
What do you ask of the people for whom you do favors? Ask for something in exchange. Not that they have to pay you but barter for something you need. It is reasonable and they will appreciate more what u do for them. |
Originally Posted by Mimito2
I know I live in Tennessee (THE Volunteer State) but everyone keeps assuming that since I am not working I am available to:
Babysit Run pick up __________ Go online and find _________ Deliver ________ Give me a ride to _________ I can't get anything accomplished especially sewing. I say NO real loud and it just goes over their head. Any suggestions besides unplug the phone and lock the door? Run pick up _(I require gas money) Go online and find __(The computer is right there, you know how to use it) Deliver ___(More gas money needed) Give me a ride to __(even more gas money is needed) The above answers usually take me off the volunteer list. :) |
No. not really. If i WANT to help out with something I do, otherwise, no.
I used to get a lot of this "because you're home during the day". yeah, I'm home during the day because I work NIGHTS!! Nothing like some sleep deprivation to make you're "no" have more clout! |
You could schedule time for sewing... for me it is every Tuesday. When people ask me to do stuff for them, including family, church whatever, I say "I'm sorry, I have something going on that day...I'm not available." Works like a charm!
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Usually my DH is the one volunteering me! UGH! I hate it!
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Sweetwater, TN. My parents grew up there. My grandma lived there til she passed. My aunt lives in Madisonville. I love that area.
You may have to get a little nasty to get your point across. |
Learn to say, "I would love to help you and it sounds like fun...but I am afraid that I have too many other commitments right now...thank you for asking. Being the former cop, I had a lot of practice saying "no" to some not nice people. Saying it like the above has always worked for me...when they complain and start to ask again, I just smile and say, "As I said, thank you for asking."
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Maybe if you say to them "Sure I will do______________ for you if you will do______________ for me, because I don't have the time to do both".
When you do say NO do not feel guilty. No is simply an answer to a question. |
Originally Posted by Weenween
[Oh yea I sure know what you mean.They holler Arlene can fix it Arlene can do it and ect.]I know I live in Tennessee (THE Volunteer State) but everyone keeps assuming that since I am not working I am available to:
Babysit Run pick up __________ Go online and find _________ Deliver ________ Give me a ride to _________ I can't get anything accomplished especially sewing. I say NO real loud and it just goes over their head. Any suggestions besides unplug the phone and lock the door? ----------------------------------------------------------------- Just tell them sure you will...after you finish whatever it is that you are working on at the time...or tell them it may be a day or 2 or 3 before you can get to it. Might dissuade them! |
Babysit: I DON'T babysit, no buts Not going to happen.
Run pick up....You can do it Go online and find ...... computer is over yonder, you got 15 min. Deliver : Do I look like I work for the post office? Give me a ride to: Give me a Darn good reason, and gas money. there is a thin line between being helpful and doing it for them. Ihave no quarrel, they can help themselves. I do have the sense, that when living in a community of friends these exchanges are expected and welcomed. I chose not to live in those communities. Im not as friendly as you think I am. |
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