Be careful telling her she wouldn't be happy with the living arrangement beacuse you leave her room to say yes I would. The honest truth is that you wouldn't be happy and that's all that matters. Also, you and your husband have earned the right to be able to live without the infringements that come with kids and borders.

Just repeat after me "no". :thumbup:

Hi,
Its so hard saying "NO" when we no we are the ones that always seem to have everyone come to us for what they need,But I have to agree,sometimes you just have to say "NO"
not in a mean way.But sometimes we just have to think of ourselves 1st.Sometimes family wether close or not in relationship,can put us in tough situations,forcing us to feel as though we are the ones that are messed up,our "Hearts" make us feel that way,but I agrre with all the folks here tellin you that you'll just have to say "I am sorry but,we cannot help you this time too much is going on,yada,yada,yada,whatever you have to say,as they metioned I(you) can help you find something,but I really dont have that space available no more.(Period) I hope all the responses help you to stay stong in your heart & stand up for your self,Hope all works out for both (you & the relative)Good Luck,keep us posted,I will pray for her to find an alternative.
Tess

She has a boyfriend? Tell her to go live with him.
If she can afford to rent your basement, she can afford a 1 bedroom apartment...
I had to say no to a friend of mine years ago, I was renting a two bedroom apartment with a roommate, and a friend of ours who only speaks to us when she wants something said she got evicted and needed a place to stay. I was renting a 2 bedroom apartment, where exactly did she think she was going to stay? Her and her kid. I had no cable, no internet, no phone, and was working and going to school, so I wouldn't even be home (she was not working) most of the time, and what's stopping her from eating all my food, inviting her little boyfriend over and whatever. I had to say sorry, but no. It was HARD... I even paid for them to stay at a hotel for 2 nights because they said they litterally had nowhere else to go, and never saw that money paid back to me. Never will either.

You don't need to come up with excuses. It is your house , you have worked to get it and keep it. Why should you feel put out because of some one else? Is there a Salvation Army or United Way in your area? They should be able to help her out with something.

well when she had a boyfriend, she was always quoting him. not sure she has one now.
My Hubby definitely will tell her no. i told him if she asks why, to say we have our justifications and not to explain.

You tell the blood leaching relative, "NO", loud and clear!!!! And you do NOT have to tell her why. After you say that "NO", shut the door in her face, lock it and do not answer it again for a couple of days. She'll get tired of camping outside and will go someplace else!! :twisted:

Be true to yourself & you'll never regret it.

I agree with everyone else -- just say no! She may say she's going to pay rent but with no job where is she going to get the funds, the money fairy? Not to mention that your electricity, water, etc bills will be going up with another person. If any of the other relatives give you grief, tell them you will be dropping her off at their house and they can take her in. If she wants a reason, tell her "we let you live with us before and a good time was not had by all".

...it's my mind and I can do what I want...it's my life and I can do what I want...

remember that song?

Anyway, you don't owe her anything. All you have to do is say "no thank you." No explanation, no worrying, no nothing. Just sorry, the basement is not for rent. Then get back to enjoying *your* life. :)

One of the things I have finally learned is that it is okay to put myself first sometimes. Many of us were raised to think that we had to be 'noble' and submit to the wishes of someone else, no matter what we wanted. If we didn't, the guilt would set in.

Well, maybe one of the lessons we are supposed to learn while in this lifetime is to honor ourselves. If you don't want this person sponging off you and your husband, it is OK to say that and to not let anyone make you feel guilty about it. Just my humble opinion.