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-   -   lady wants to move into our basement-seriously (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/lady-wants-move-into-our-basement-seriously-t36613.html)

Boston1954 02-12-2010 07:21 AM


Originally Posted by nativetexan
yes, we don't even really know where she lives at the moment. she leaves us a phone number but that's all. she had a rent house but not sure she still does. she said she is having to sell her house due to job loss. she mentioned the town she lives in during a conversation but never said the name of it. secretive for some reason. she is around Denver somewhere.
she used to work about five blocks from our house but never came by here unless she wanted to borrow something.

This tells me something right off. I have relatives who only know me if they need something. You will regret it if you let her in. It will burn you up inside and that can cause ulcers. Tell her it is not something you are prepared to do.

BellaBoo 02-12-2010 08:12 AM

Imagine how miserable you will be if you say yes. And since she is paying rent she will feel entitled to do what she pleases in your home. Let the relatives that may say something snippy about your NO answer take care of the loser woman.

MollieSue 02-12-2010 08:25 AM

One of my son's briefly lived with a woman who had 5 kids (thank God she's long gone now!). They got evicted, and she called to see if they could live here 'for just a few weeks'. - she also just sat and smoked when they'd come for a visit, and never watched her kids (ages 7-1) - said it was 'her' break time! Gee - I don't remember offering to watch them!

We have a very small ranch, and the 7 of them (+ 2 dogs, 2 cats) would have completely filled this house! My son always knew he could stay here whenever he needed to, but I didn't owe the bimbo a thing. Everything we own would have been fair game, taken over, and destroyed. Not to mention DH & I would have had 5 kids to take care of while she was off to Walmart, or wherever constantly!

I just kept repeating the same words, "No, I don't think it would work out very well." as she kept countering it'd just be for a few weeks, we don't have any other place to go, etc. Well, guess what - she found another place! Moochers always do. Sad, sad life for her kids though. :(

Stick to your guns, and know you don't owe anyone a reason!
:)

nursie76 02-12-2010 08:32 AM

Everyone is right...NO is the only option. And the bottom line is No, I'm sorry about your situation, but it wouldn't work. (Repeat as needed). If you offer an explanation or reason, she has an opportunity to talk you around it. AND really as others said, it is your home, she is asking you for something that is BIG and at your stage in life you don't owe this only-when-I-want-something relative anything besides your answer...which is no.
Sending strength and peace {{{}}}vibes your way!

Shadow Dancer 02-12-2010 08:47 AM

You don't have to explain your decision to anyone. She asked if she could move in and your answer is simply "No!" You don't have to apologize for your answer to her question, it's your home.

wvdek 02-12-2010 08:52 AM

Best answer on here is Shadow Dancer's. Simply"NO".

nativetexan 02-12-2010 09:08 AM

I must say i was very surprised how many No's I got in response. not many softies out there like me. now i don't feel so bad. thanks, :mrgreen:

sewmuch 02-12-2010 09:33 AM

No and no explanation needed.....

lfw045 02-12-2010 10:40 AM

Everyone is right. I would tell her no that it just doesn't suit for her to stay with you and your hubby. Now if the relatives want a little drama from your decision, just remind them that they could let her live with them and all would be solved. ;^)

bearisgray 02-12-2010 11:06 AM

I skipped a couple of pages - but I loved one of the answers -
if any of the "other" relatives think you are "being mean and selfish" tell them to feel free to have the pleasure of her company.


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