I have always been close to my son. We are so much alike and I was 18 when he was born. He comes a lot and fixes thing, mows or we set and talk about everthing under the son. I have two daughters and unless they are in need of a friend they are very independent. :wink:
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Originally Posted by Shadow Dancer
I feel redundant, like I've been replaced and it kind of hurts a little.... letting go isn't easy.
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I hear you Ducky. It is very hard. What makes it worse for me is that she has left and come home many times between college and camp. Every time she leaves it is like the first time all over. You would think it would get easier at some point.
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Originally Posted by kwhite
I am feeling really down today. My only child, my daughter has kind of moved out as of last week. She is truly my best friend and I miss her so much. When we talk she is kinda distant and wrapped up in her own life. I know intellectually that this is how it should be but it is still hard. She will be leaving for camp in a couple of weeks and I will not be able to talk to her much at all over the summer. Someone please tell me she will get back to being my best friend again soon. I am fine with her having her own life but can't she have her own life and be my best friend too? She is on a first date tonight with a new guy that I really like. I hope it is all going well.
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OK yall didn't tell me that when they come home again they come back with an ATTITUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lord how long does that last!?!?!?!
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Originally Posted by kwhite
OK yall didn't tell me that when they come home again they come back with an ATTITUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lord how long does that last!?!?!?!
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Hang in there everyone! I have two teenagers I would glady let anyone borrow. They eat a lot and don't do laundry, but are otherwise pretty fun!
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The five minute theory works here.
You get five minutes to feel everything you want to, say whatever you want, and then! Then, you have to get up and go do something else. If you do something else and someone else benefits, so much the better. It isn't comfortable feeling lonely, redundant, un-needed (you must have done a GREAT job!), sad, at loose ends, as it were. It isn't comfortable, but it is a part of moving on. It is the thing that says "Life is good and is continuing on in a good form". I have been gone from home for over forty years, but if you want to sleep in the guest room, you have to sleep in "Mary's room" ... and, even though youngest brother lives in his own room, that is "Flint's room" ... the office hasn't had children living in it for over forty five years, and yet! That room was the boys' room (lucky things! they have two! LOL) Just think about when the grandbabies come to visit and they get to sleep in "mama's room"! Without the toddling steps of going off on their own <g> the next step (grandbabies) don't usually happen. And, it may be (as my mom told my youngest brother when I got married) that you will be seeing more of daughter than you did before she left. You are a good mom for all your aching heart, and you did a good job or daughter wouldn't be busy making her own life, eh? This too shall pass ... and, in the meantime, you will have lovely quilts to help you pass the time. (I can hardly wait to hear how you took daughter's room and turned it into your stash room, and NOW! She's moving back in with hubby and five children!) <g> |
My heart goes out to you, because my situation was similar. I'm divorced, raised my one and only child by myself for most of her years. When she was approaching 18, she was a mean spirited, spiteful child, and it was so hard for me. My oldest sister, with 2 daughters and a son, kept telling me that she WILL become human again. It took till she was 24 years old, but at 26 (she'll be 26 on Sunday), she and I are closer than we ever were before, and in a much healthier way!!!!!
There's hope!!!! In the meantime, she will find out "who" she is, she will grow into a young adult, she will start being responsible for her own actions, and she WILL appreciate everything you've done for her!!!! |
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